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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Newspapers are so gory

wELL, i WAS GOING THROUGH THE NEWSPAPERS AGAIN AND WHAT DO i FIND...some more gory recollections of suicide deaths.

Slapped by husband, mulund housewife sets herself, three kids ablaze. While second is critical, the third is out of danger.
The housewife is supposed to have had a fight with her husband over the serving of food...
How much more ridiculous can the reasons get??? Why do we forget that suicides do not happen for one single reason alone. It's a piling up of unresolved issues that leads to that one so called trivial incident to become the trigger that sets off a suicide attempt. It's so very distressing to see more and more people succumbing to the pressures of modern day existence. This seems to have become an endemic problem. Children need to be taught resilience and coping skills. Why is this aspect of education being neglected so callously. Is human life not so valuable anymore? Are our population figures so debilitating that we are willing to overlook the apparent few who are succumbing to acts of voluntary self-destruction?
It's sad that the education system in India fails to keep apace with the drastic and phenomenal changes in society today. Values have taken a 360 degree shift yet formal education does not provide for the necessary knowledge base to cope with these changes. Sex education is still on the back burner and education to prevent suicides is much much further behind...As far as education goes , our children still learn by rote and fail to remember anything they have learnt in their school years, when in college and beyond. Isn't that a crying shame????



Mom tries to end life after cadets death in a swimming accident...This was really distressing. Imagine how the mother felt when her dear son drowned in the pool of the training center on which she had rested her hopes, to lift them out of middle class drudgery. The loss was intense and the mother in a fit of despondency tried to take her own life, She is now in a coma...

What can I say..'Is the rising number of suicides, for seemingly trivial reasons is a sign of the society's lackadaisal attitude and lack of value for an individual's life?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Appreciative Gesture!

This is my gesture of appreciation towards Dhirubai Ambani International School. It is for its efforts to rightly understand the need of the situation and taking wise and corrective measures to deal with the same.

 Last week while going through the newspaper I got to read very pleasing news. It reported about the students of Dhirubai Ambani International School being indulged in drug addiction and substance abuse. When the same was brought to the notice of the authorities, instead of worrying about the bad publicity and reputation of the school the school rightly took a wise decision to send the students for counseling instead of expelling them from the school.

 I appreciate the approach of the school coz; I believe that it has rightly understood the demand of the time. It is right in realizing the fact that the students are na├»ve to understand the thin line between right and wrong and they need a proper guidance to help them understand the difference and its significance in their life. Today with the demand of the life to maintain the status quo parents hardly get to spent quality time with their children. Knowing this, the next best person for guidance in their life are their tutors.  And I am happy that Dhirububai Ambani International school has got good mentors to lead the students on right path.

I congratulate the school for their thoughtful decision. Hope other schools follow the same foot steps.

 

 

Sunday, April 26, 2009

HELP for troubled MARRIAGE

tHIS WAS AN INTERESTING EMAIL THAT I RECIEVED ,
and since I am not married and not thinking of such an entanglement in the near future, I thought I'd pass it on to those who are...

HELP ( Health Education Library for People ) is organizing a free talk
on *"Secrets
of Happy Marriage" *by *Dr. Rajiv Anand *on *29th April 2009* at *3.30
pm*at HELP ( Health Education Library for People ) 206, National
Insurance
Building, Dr.D.N.Road, Wallace Street, Mumbai 400 001.To register call:
/ 94, ,

go ahead and attend...learn to be happy!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

HORRRN PUKARE

Yesterday Anil, Stuti, Yours truly and Director of AASRA saw the movie HORRN PUKARE, made by the noted film maker SAI PARANJPE.
The movie was about HIV-AIDS Awareness and Prevention.As the title suggests, the the story is about truck drivers and their tough lives.Now,I dont know about the others but I thought that the film was quite satisfactory. It is fit to be shown to truck drivers and all those connected with them. It is also a movie that can be part of a sex education program in schools and colleges.(though it deals only with one method of prevention . ie condoms.)
The actors were average( some below average)having said that, I should mention that the principal protogonist really looks and acts the part.Most shots were shot on location( highways and sidey dhabas).The dialogues were quite well written without being too preachy( and minus the mothers and sisters abuses which is part of the truckdrivers lingo, as SAI jokingly said) . The street play at the end could have been omitted(it was like a recap of all that was taught ! Silly, I thought!)
Acccording to me, the film could have explored the mental state of the protogonist when he is diagonised with being HIV+.( one does not become happy and accepting of a life altering situation so easily!)that part in the movie was too abrupt, I felt.
Most people living with HIV+ with their family go through a lot of stress and despair. They dont know how to handle the excommunication by society.
AASRA being a helpline for suicide prevention, has recieved numerous calls from people suffering form HIV/AIDS.We, I think dont look at the situation so clinically but with a lot of empathy and commpassion, that was what was missing in the movie I felt.

Later, all of us sat down for a bit at the marine drive and the best thing was that we all took a VICTORIA ride..wow! that was so fabo!
Thanks to our BOSS...! Saalam, sir!;-0

Thursday, April 23, 2009

COMMUNICATION!

H: Husband W: Wife

Scenario 1    Family: Happy

H: I think you have added excess salt to the vegetable.

W: Have I? Am so sorry I could not concentrate full heartedly in cooking.

H: What happened? Is all well?

W: I had real bad and demanding day in the office today.

H: Any major problem?

W: Our department head has come down to our office from his London based office and his meetings are really grilling. So whole day we were tied up with presenting our team progress and digging historic issues. Two more days he is scheduled to stay in Mumbai. So another two days of meetings with him. So I was just lost in the thoughts and was thinking of tomorrows meeting.

H: Its ok chill! Don’t you worry! If you are sure about your work just present it confidently without any hesitation or unnecessary worries. And for now we can squeeze little lemon to the vegetable to reduce the taste of salt in vegetable. Wats say?

W: Sure darling! It feels so great to even share my day’s experience with you. And thanks a lot for patiently hearing me out.

Scenario 1    Family: UnHappy

H: What a horrible mess you have made out of this vegetable.

W: What happened? Is anything wrong with my cooking?

H: Were you in hurry to finish the salt jar?

W: Oh! have I added excess salt in vegetable? Am so sorry! I could not concentrate full heartedly in cooking. I had real bad and demanding day in the office today.

H: You please maintain your family life and professional life separate. Whatever problems you face in the office let them be in the office itself once you cross your office gate in the evening.

W: Am so sorry darling! Let me add some lemon to it to set the vegetable taste right.

H: leave it! I have lost my appetite also now.

            The above illustration is an example of how a good listener can lead to a good communication helping deal with stress, and similarly how does lack of communication entangles too many issues creating complications and lead to an over burden of stress.

Wife in the first case is relived for time being from her office stress and is able to concentrate on her family. Five minutes of her husband’s patience has helped her to be relived from stress. Whereas, in the second case the wife’s worries are multiplied coz, now along with her office worries she has an upset husband to handle.

In today’s demanding world communicating ones mind has become an essence of routine. When you speak your mind you open avenues for opinion, suggestion, solution, appreciation, guidance and many more. And all this helps one to lessen the stress.

Stress is a singular form of Depression. Lack of communication multiplies stress and leads to Depression. And communication helps in deducting stress out of life as it occurs.

 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

a seminar..

Today I attended a seminar on relaxation training and technique....it was an interesting seminar. The speaker spoke about the importance of self.He gave examples about how we dont understand the value of increasing our self worth and self esteem...he then gave reasons as to why people become stressed and depressed.
later he demonstrated various techniques...on how to relax etc...
the whole session was good.
I was wondering if we could incorporate somethng like this in our workshops..
what does evryone think???..( I could teach u the next time we meet)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Brain not hard-wired to feel compassion

Reports in newspapers suggest that New brain imaging research showed an almost immediate 'wince' reaction to seeing someone's physical pain . By contrast the brain took a long time to respond to stories of social pain.
So is compassion a learned /developed skill or does it come inborn with our usual emo-make-up? This kind of research can throw on it's head the entire presumptions and assumptions of psychiatric medicine. Man develops his skills while he grows up and these developments are in direct response to the environment. Imagine if someone doesnt ever realise an opportunity for compassion when a child, how will that person ever be human- as we recognise ourselves ...
But this research tells a lot on why politicians seem to do everything to gain power to the extent that religion and casteism are played up to a point where conflict and violence are generated. Once the polity gets polarised the politicians can work their manifestos to accomodate the polarised segments. While enacting this deviousness they never feel that they are causing harm to the public. For them the ends justifies the means. That explains Gujrat and several other riots that have been engineered in the country for political gain.The politicians definitely lack compassion in this respect.
People who commit suicide do it because they do not find the compassion and understanding that they expect from their near and dear ones. When the expected support is wanting and they begin to feel alone and neglected that's when the feeling of hopelessness sets in and depression takes over. When the person find that there is no other way out, that's when he or she decides to end their lives.
Compassion is a nurturing element in life. It is life affirming as well as healing. Without compassion, there can be no understanding of another's pain!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Life gets tough again, suicides at the drop of a hat

I was going through the papers this week and suicides keep staring me in the face. Beyond that, there were other stories of a teacher punishing a student buy making her stand in the sun for two hours which eventually led to her death. That was horrendous. I am deeply saddened by what is happening. Teachers resorting to corporal punishment and seeking to enforce discipline. Why can't teachers spend more time to understand their students rather than forcing down their throat things that they can't swallow. Students have their own problems and because of their individual social milieu and environment they may not have developed their capabilities to the point where they can be receptive to bland instructions and unreasonable demands. It's the system which is at fault though. Teachers have to complete their portion, they to have their individual problems and any irritant at school becomes the victim of their distress and stress. It's time the marks system is abolished totally. Grades are the best way to give appreciation to students and their performance. It's important to learn about life and what surrounds you but not necessary to remember it by rote learning. The current system of education is more interested in churning out people with degrees and diplomas like a processing plant churns out packaged goods. This is truly horrifying to me!

In Sahiabad a 23 yr old egineering college student committed suicide after she suspected that hidden cameras were hidden in her bathroom... Is that reason enough for suicide I ask? But then what is reason enough for sucide? Dont we come into this world to face up to our challenges and live as happiliy and in harmony with nature and the environment as possible. The world is a gift to us just as life is and we have to take care of it all. But the world is changing. Man has changed the environment to such an extent that staying alive against all odds is becoming more and more difficult. And to top it all, the caring, concern and support to people around us is dwindling because we do not want to spend time in unprofitable activity. Everyone is out to earn money and anything that does not provide a monetary return becomes a useless pursuit. Unless we change that attitude and give more priority to fellow human beings over our own financial well being it will be difficult to revert this trend of suicide...


Infy staffer does badly in test , kills self.
I wrote earlier that the so called blue-chip companies like Infosys and others are showing employees the pink slip in the hope of shoring up profits and their modus operandi has also changed. They openly spoke about letting go off people who do not survive the test. What arrogance and heartlessness they displayed. What happened to the earnest work these professionals put in before the recession, because of which the company earned rich dividends. How come they forget this fact so easily. Companies must learn to cut down on salaries right from top to bottom and allow employees to continue in times of recession. They need to reinvent their startegies and have them participate in other activities that can get the company ahead in these hard times. Not find reasons to let them go. The government needs to take a firm stand on this. No company should be allowed to send off their employees javascript:void(0)in such heartless fashion. And if it is a necessity, the company should be responsible for providing job loss support counselling and help them get jobs in other outfits to help them tide over the misfortune. If employees given the pink slip commit suicide, companies cannot absolve themselves of responsiblity.Organisational callousness cannot be condoned.

Johnson Thomas

Making Un-Manageable Situation Manageable

Suicide! It sounds such a terrible thought! But still some people think of committing it and making it a bitter reality for the loved ones who are left behind to carry the guilt and pain through out their life and live with it. Hold it!! Did I say some, or should I say all of us?

Anger utters reality out of our mouth. Am sure all will agree with me if I say that we all have some or the other time thought or event said out of anger “I guess my death is the only solution to it” or “this will come to an end with my death” and many more to mention. What I understand is our mind has a mechanic which is programmed to generate solutions to any problem that we encounter in our life. When it fails to find a solution to a problem and feels that its badly in need to come out of the situation he thinks of suicide coz it’s a great escape way to end the problem by killing the creator and the carrier of the problem and hence the end of the problem. It’s actually not the problem but the urgency to come out of the problem or helplessness of a person or guilt in oneself or lack of confidence to face or live with the problem or feeling of him/her being burden on someone.

 If you read the last sentence of the above paragraph again you would understand that suicide is always considered as a last solution (A permanent solution to a temporary problem). It’s basically a take over of a certain situation on your psychological health. It could be to such an extent that it would not allow you to take a wise decision. That is the reason when we successfully come out of a situation and pass quite some time and when we recollect the incident we say “Now when I remember the way I reacted to that situation I feel like laughing over myself. I was so stupid to think like that”. One basically do not find a usual oneself reacting to a certain unmanageable situation because while you are dealing with it you only think about the problem and only negative side of it is brought under focus. Now, how is one helped to deal with a situation which is out of his/her control. One should always remember that he/she might not be always able to think wise when he/she is undergoing the situation. It’s always better to talk it out and take a third persons opinion over the problem and the solution you have thought for the same. The person with whom the views will be shared should be an unbiased person and should not have any connection with the problem. Learning more and more views with respect to a problem will help one to find a better solution to it rather than limiting the point of views to the solutions generated by sole sufferers mind.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jobless Youth kills self.

Recession has another victim.

A software engineer from Orissa committed suicide by consuming pesticide after he lost his job last year. He was supposedly very depressed after he lost his job and was desperately looking out for one.

It pains me to see people lose their tolerance so soon. I agree that a job hunt can get depressing at times. But Life has its fair share of ups and downs. I believe Life is like sailing a ship in a sea. The ship will encounter rough weather at times. But abandoning the ship in such times is not the solution. It is important to be patient.

The global economic meltdown has undoubtedly affected a lot of families across the globe. A lot of individuals have lost their jobs and suddenly find themselves searching for a source of income. However, instead of getting disheartened, these individuals should look at it as an opportunity to explore other avenues. They can find opportunities which might be able to tap onto some other skills that they might possess. As they say, when one door of opportunity closes, 10 more open up.

Life presents opportunities in different ways. But one needs to be around when the opportunity comes knocking.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Personality Development = Parenting + Self Grooming

They say that a body is made of 5 elements called Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Ether. It’s the outside shell and the skeleton of the person which is made out of these 5 nature elements. The liveliness in a person comes with filled in different emotions in an individual. And the emotions are shaped by different scenarios that one comes across in his/her life. Response of two different people can differ for a particular situation depending upon how do they adapt themselves to a situation or get themselves acquainted with the situation.

With our age we encounter numerous things; living, non living. We learn what is happiness, unhappiness, betrayal, pleasure, care, love hate…. So many to mention. One is helped to go through and understand these personality traits by the way the person is brought up called as Parenting of a child which is considered of significant importance up to the age of 16 years from the birth. During this period the kid is always under the shelter of his/her parents and depends mostly upon them for the learnedness and gaining the understanding of the things that they come across. Later when the child is given freedom to explore the outside world, it’s called Self Grooming coz he/she decides their own way to learn the things.

Imagine if some parents does wrong parenting and the child is forgotten to be taken out of the shell he was born in. The way the child’s eyes will hurt with the sudden exposure to sunlight similarly, his self esteem will also hurt with the sudden exposure to the demanding ruthless world. I have come across one gal who was not taught how important it is to be self dependant, she was not taught how important it is to take her own decisions, she was not taught the importance of communication. It hurt me to learn that the gal never made any frens in her school. It hurt me to learn that the gal could not open herself to express her true feelings to anyone not even to her family. She limited her world to her family. Now with her age when she is expected to expand her wings and enjoy the world she finds all strange and alien faces around and goes dipper into her shell.

The learning that can be gained out of the case is, along with the basic responsibility of providing education, clothing, and shelter to the kid parents play a very important role in grooming the child. They are responsible to expose the child to the outside which would help them eventually shine the kid’s personality.

When a kid is exposed to the outside world he/she encounters so many emotions which help the individual to develop right attitude. Understand different views of different people. Which includes encounter with emotions like, acceptance, appreciation, rejection, love, care, hate, like, dislike, passion, possessiveness, protectiveness, obsession, stubbornness and many more to mention. World is a best teacher by itself and every parents should give an opportunity to their child to get learned from it.


Please make an attempt to express your views as it will help us only to help the gal. According to you how do you think the gal would be helped??

explain...

what is the defintion of commitment according to you.....

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

a short film worth a dekho

here's the link... just click.


http://cultureunplu gged.com/ play/562/ The-house




Friend of AASRA, Mahendra Singh Verma's film Salt n Pepper can also be seen on this site. It is the most viewed film here..

Monday, April 6, 2009

George Carlin at his eloquent best


Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent..and so very appropriate.
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete..
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent..
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I am distressed

A Psychological post-mortem(analysis of an individual's behaviour over a period of time)throws up some interesting findings...

There's adolescent crisis when raging hormones,peer pressure and academic pressure give teenagers the blues.
Then follows the quarter-life crisis when at 25-35, an educated employee on his /her way up the ladder of success begins to question the point of it all...
Mid-life crisis hits you at between 40-55 where you try to be younger than you are, and to feel young you try to attract people much younger than you by doing whatever it takes. A 40 something married man may buy a swanky car to attract a woman young enough to be his daughter...
Old age is reserved for depression and loneliness

When a person enters adolescence, a lot of changes take place. The hormones start multiplying and Psychological coping takes a bit of time.The hormonal changes and the changes that occur in the physiology due to puberty can create a volatile mix of emotions.

Stress is a part of life. There's good stress and bad stress. When stress is greater than coping ability then it becomes bad stress.learn to live with stress or else
Lead a simple life...


The no of suicides are going UP!
this past week was a shocker ...
A 23 year old hanged himself to death in the Khargar hills, priyanka Gandhi Vadra's father-in-law is alleged to have killed himself in a delhi hotel, An Asian gumen shots down 13 people before turning the gun on himself in New York, A US father kills 5 children and himself in a shoot out, Suicide bombers kill 30 worshippers in Pakistan...

It's so very distressing to read such news everyday.
Suicide affects everyone cutting accross caste, creed, sex, religion, economic status etc. It happens when pain exceeds the limit that our coping skills allow us to cope with.That is why we must make it a point to develop coping skills at a very young age.Parents must be able to say no to their child. More than material goods that children demand, it's love, attention and emotional support that the child requires and needs and parents must understand this.It's as important to have sex education in schools as it is to have stress education in all walks of life(including educational institutions and organisation)

The rising incidents of suicides accross age groups- increasing cases of clinical depression, low tolerance threshold, the increasing quest for spirituality, yoga and meditation are manifestations of the fact that today's population is dealing with crisis at all times.

The financial slump in the world markets has definitely increased the levels of stress accross the world.The thoughless and highly provocative nature of dismissing employees by serving them with pink slips

But amidst all that gloom was a heartening story
a facebook friend who lives in Maryland, USA saved a teenager from succumbing to suicide by alerting the Oxford Police from accross the globe. The girl's parents managed to contact the Maryland police who alerted the British embassy and police and para-professionals along with an ambulance finally managed to get to Oxford within three hours of the alert to find the boy unconscious. He was later taken to hospital and is now recovering at home after having been discharged. Isn't this phenomenal... what these social networking sites and communication technology can really achieve if put to good use!


Here are some interesting stats that was printed in the DNA

35-50 million people are afflicted by clinical depression
One in every five Indians will experience clinical depression at some point in their lives.
WHO predicts that depression will be the second most common disease by 2020.
Women are more vulnerable when it comes to suicides, with the ratio of wmen to men committing suicide is 2:1
emotional support,

Sunday, April 5, 2009

a connection!

Yesterday at the centre, I met a young boy.He had come with his father.In the begining he was reluctant and a little wary to talk to us, but later he started talking to us about his school, his friends, fav movies, sport, parents, school teachers and how he hated his Hindi teacher and consequently hated the subject too.(As he spoke, I felt an uncanny connection to this boy!)
Hate..is a strong word for a 11 year old. so when we explored a bit, we found that the concerned teacher exhibited favoritsim in class, was very strict and gave a lot of home work.
I was thinking, how teachers contribute to making/breaking a child`s spirit.
And parents can be so careless about the child`s feelings..
The trauma of growing up in a world where the child is forced to get A+ in all his papers,
a world where sensitivity and compasion has no place... can we ever understand that?What exactly are we teaching our youngsters?
I felt happy that the child loved to go for this tution class. The teacher is strict and gives homework but also gives him lots of attention that he craves for.
So there is a great lesson to be learned here.
Children dont mind discipline BUT the condition is that you have to give them equal positive attention and appreciation.
Yesterday was a good day and I dont think I will forget the little boy for a long time.

Workshop for Alert India HIV peer educators

It was really disapointing that we couldn't conduct the 2nd level coping skills training program for peer educators. I guess they had their reasons for postponing it at the last minute. But I am looking forward to conducting the workshop because that is one group which is receptive, participative and eager to absorb everything. They all have their own individual problems but they do not hesitate to come out and speak their minds and find solutions for themselves. It's really one of the better groups we had our workshops with.

The school workshop with teachers of a kk school was held from 9 am to 11.30 am on 4th april 09. The Alert India workshop was scheduled from 12 to 2.30 the same afternoon.

Workshop at a school(primary section teachers)

The workshop at the school went off pretty well I guess. It was a mixed group of teachers from the primary section. There was a bit of resistance from the group too but by the end of it all, they did seem to come round.The interaction was good, group discussions were energetic and what I really learned from it al was that teachers can be very closed and unresponsive when they are in a classroom situation as learners, even more so than their students. It took a lot of cajoling to get them to participate in the icebreakers. by the time the group discussions happened, the group was a little more relaxed and interactive. But one thing was clear, Feelings and emotions and talking about them, is not something they do on their own. They are so used to talking and advising that they forget that people need to think for themselves. Finally they did understand that talking about your highly personal and emotional pain is important for everyone if they plan to lead a life of manageable stress.


About the child being suspended from school for unruly and indisciplined behaviour, I agree that that cannot be a solution. Imagine what trauma the child might be going through.The child would have benefited if there was a counselor in the school who could do the professional bit by dealing with both the parents and the child. Children manifest such behaviours because they are hurting inside and this must be understood. We need to find out why the child is hurting rather than discipline him for behaving in an aggressive fashion. The action may seem uncalled for, but the child knows no other way of expresing himself.His is a reaction to unresolved pain and is basically a learned behaviour. For any kind of positive change to happen, the counselor would need to examine the childs immediate environment, speak to all family members and the child himself to find out why this is happening. Once that is established the child can be taught to react to such situations in a more constructive and helpful manner.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

what I learned from the workshop at North Point...

I was eagerly waiting for the workshop.
WHAT I LEARNED...
1. the importance of COMMUNICATION.
2. teachers can be very closed
3. teachers can be very impatient.
4. life is not fair.
5. its important to laugh at your own self.
6. Theres is always hope.

I was thinking that throwing a child out of school because of indiscipline is not the solution,where will the child go if the school, parents (who are in denial)and society will not help him. we all know that if a child is "acting up" we are all to blame in some way.
My question to all is
What could the school have done to make the child understand the value of disciplne?
Do u think the the only way out was to ask the parents to take the child away from school?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Stretching the Limits

During this exam & entrance season all parents are so worked up, some of them even more than their kids.
I feel so sad for these kids who are pressurized to perform beyond their capabilities.
Mere marks and entrances decide how intelligent or bright a kid is?
Most parents expect their kids to be the topper.
My question is if every kid tops the class and clears the entrance then how will the system work? Come on someone has to come last for someone to come first.
Parents should really sit back and think what are they doing to their kid by forcing them to study so hard & what do they finally want from their kid?
I am sure they have an answer to that, something like “We don’t want anything, we are simply securing their future”, ya right – in the pursuit of securing their future, their present is being ruined.
Kids are living under constant fear of letting down their parents if they don’t fair well, if they don't enter a so called "respectable profession".
Half the kids are living & fulfilling their parents dream; what about their dream, their life & their childhood – it’s all lost in the expectations awaiting them!


Stuty

Suicide, suicide, suicide, that's all I can seein the newspapers.

Suicide , Suicide, Suicide... that's all I can see in the papers. Everyday I open the papers I read about suicides happening all over the country. People are ending their lives seemingly for the flimsiest of reasons. '9 year old refuses to study, Mother sets self on fire' , '16 year old Bhavi Desai was caught with a chit before the start of her exams, she consequently jumped to her death from the terrace of her building', there have been many more such cases over the past few weeks. The above mentioned two are representative of the broader malady that is afflicting our society today. We have lost the balance in our lives, life itself has become less important as people begin to lose themselves in the pursuit of their aspirational goals. Parents want their children to do better than themselves, better than their friends and colleagues children so that they themselves do not lose face and better than their relatives children so that their super-eminent status remains unchallenged. They do not allow their children to learn and develop their own coping skills because they are too preoccupied with achieving their own goals and have little time or patience to devote to their child's holistic development. it's such a shame that society has also begun to empathise with such behavior and as a result more and more children end up shattering their self-esteem and are unable to rebuild on it, choosing to end their lives rather than face up to rejection and criticism! Remember Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

Johnson