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Sunday, April 5, 2009

a connection!

Yesterday at the centre, I met a young boy.He had come with his father.In the begining he was reluctant and a little wary to talk to us, but later he started talking to us about his school, his friends, fav movies, sport, parents, school teachers and how he hated his Hindi teacher and consequently hated the subject too.(As he spoke, I felt an uncanny connection to this boy!)
Hate..is a strong word for a 11 year old. so when we explored a bit, we found that the concerned teacher exhibited favoritsim in class, was very strict and gave a lot of home work.
I was thinking, how teachers contribute to making/breaking a child`s spirit.
And parents can be so careless about the child`s feelings..
The trauma of growing up in a world where the child is forced to get A+ in all his papers,
a world where sensitivity and compasion has no place... can we ever understand that?What exactly are we teaching our youngsters?
I felt happy that the child loved to go for this tution class. The teacher is strict and gives homework but also gives him lots of attention that he craves for.
So there is a great lesson to be learned here.
Children dont mind discipline BUT the condition is that you have to give them equal positive attention and appreciation.
Yesterday was a good day and I dont think I will forget the little boy for a long time.

3 comments:

Shree said...

It was really nice experience interacting with the kiddo. He was quite open and innocent as well to express his feelings towards his teachers, his liking and disliking towards a particular subject, his liking towards his private tuition teacher and the pressure he feels from his dad 2 gt good grades.
My observation from the whole session is :
- The dad fear resemblance of child's attitude with his real mom described as stubborn nature of the child and his quest for attention.
* I believe being a child especially at his age of 10-11 years, every child seek for attention. I guess the stubborness that the dad is talking about is the endeavor of the kid to attract attention.
* I guess it could be of help in the case if the father tries to explore by talking to the kid if he is receiving the kind of attention he is expecting from his mom and for that matter does he expect his father as well to offer him free hand in certain things. The kids wishlist is more important coz father has already started assuming things which might not even exist. Its important to understand the basis of the behaviour rather than assuming things which might not even exist.
* The father's and child's perspective could be different so its important to understand the difference and locate the cause!!

reena said...

Shree, I couldnt agree more..I think his father needs to calm down a bit... his fear might break the child. but then can WE really blame the father?..the trauma that he must have gone through whn he lost his first wife to suicide would have been great.and whn the child is exhibiting the same symtoms( according to him ) would have really zapped him.
I wanted to give the kid a hug as he started to leave but then curbed my impulsiveness.

Shree said...

Reena, I do agree with u that father is not be blamed for it. I do understand the fear of his of loosing his kid as he has already gone through one wen he lost his beloved wife. What I mean to say is the father need to be made to understand that the fear that he is carrying is irrelavant as there lies a misinterpretation of the childs expression.