Stressed-out MPs and City bankers have embraced it. Hollywood stars swear by it. Big corporations such as Google and Procter & Gamble teach it to their staff. Schools are developing ways to teach it to children. And it’s even recommended by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence — the health service watchdog — as a preferred NHS treatment for depression.
Medics say that practising mindfulness can considerably lower your stress levels, mean that you see your doctor less often and spend fewer days in hospital. Not only this, but devotees insist that your memory improves, and your creativity increases.
The way to start is to use a simple breathing technique to focus your attention and clear your mind. Known as 7/11 breathing, it’s so easy you can do it anywhere — on the bus, walking to work, at your desk or even in bed.
There is huge potential for stress in even the most idyllic relationship. Whether it’s one of you leaving the loo seat up or over-spending on a credit card, relationship stress can so easily build, triggering arguments and tension. But mindfulness can stop those tensions getting out of hand.
Before you raise a difficult issue with your spouse , or if you can sense a row is brewing, take time out to do your 7/11 breathing first.
The foundation of successful communication for any couple is being able to truly listen to each other, without constructing a counter-argument in your head or indulging in ‘catastrophising’ — assuming the crisis is worse than it really is.
- Switch off all distractions and look directly at your spouse’s face and eyes when they are speaking and lean forwards towards them slightly (the body language of the attentive listener).
- Make a point of listening to the entire conversation. This sounds easy enough, but most of us are too busy formulating our reply before the other person has stopped speaking.
- When they finish speaking, summarise and paraphrase what your spouse said so they know you are listening.
also has a full-time job. But division of labour should be an agreement
based on what’s most
important to each partner
- If you spot the glazed look of a man so stressed he can no longer focus mentally, give him time to retreat into his ‘man cave’ — a physical space that’s just his — so he can process the issues without nagging.
- Don’t speak to him in ‘bloke’ language (for example, ‘Why the hell are you acting like this?’) if you want a warm, nurturing response. Most men are programmed to try to make you happy and just want to please you. Instead, try warm, feminine language (‘It makes me unhappy when you do this, I’m so much happier when you do that’).
- If you need something from him, tell him exactly what you need. Don’t expect him to read your mind. If necessary give him a list.
- Accept that men will deal with stress and solve problems differently to you, even if you don’t like or understand their ways.
Women may seem complex, yet they are often just looking for their core needs — to feel secure and cherished — to be met. So:
- Be fearless and ensure you are seen as the one in control of a situation.
- Never be afraid to ask: ‘Is there anything I need to do for you?’
- Be succinct and confident when you talk, and use a deep voice.
- If you think she might be upset or worried, ask her how she is feeling. Avoid making assumptions about what’s causing her problem — assuming you know what she’s feeling is a sure way to rile most women —and listen carefully to her answer.
One of the most obvious causes of stress in a relationship is a failing sex life. But surprisingly, says sex and relationships expert Tracey Cox, it can actually be a sign that the foundations are good.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2637949/How-beat-STRESS-Its-modern-epidemic-wrecks-lives-relationships-This-major-series-shows-conquer-stress-using-mindfulness-new-calming-technique-EVERYONE-talking-about.html#ixzz32cGfIjJD
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