depression in teens

Depression Is Common

Lately Lindsay hasn't felt like herself. Her friends have noticed it, too. Kia was surprised when Lindsay turned down her invitation to go to the mall last Saturday. There was really no reason not to go, but Lindsay just didn't feel like it. Instead, she spent most of Saturday sleeping.

Staying in more than usual isn't the only change in Lindsay. She's always been a really good student. But over the past couple of months her grades have fallen and she has trouble concentrating. She forgot to turn in a paper that was due and is having a hard time getting motivated to study for her finals.

Lindsay feels tired all the time but has difficulty falling asleep. She's gained weight too. When her mother asks her what's wrong, Lindsay just feels like crying. But she doesn't know why. Nothing particularly bad has happened. Yet Lindsay feels sad all the time and can't shake it.

Lindsay may not realize it yet, but she is depressed.

Depression is very common and affects as many as 1 in 8 people in their teen years. Depression affects people of every color, race, economic status, or age; however, it does seem to affect more girls than guys.
Responses to Depression

Sometimes friends or family members recognize that someone is depressed. They may respond with love, kindness, or support, hoping that the sadness will soon pass. They may offer to listen if the person wants to talk. If the depressed feeling doesn't pass with a little time, friends or loved ones may encourage the person to get help from a doctor, therapist, or counselor.

But not everyone recognizes depression when it happens to someone they know.

Some people don't really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person's low energy with criticism, yelling at the person for acting lazy or not trying harder. Some mistakenly believe that depression is just an attitude or a mood that someone can shake off. It's not that easy.

Sometimes even people who are depressed don't take their condition seriously enough. Some feel that they are weak in some way because they are depressed. This is wrong — and it can even be harmful if it causes people to hide their depression and avoid getting help.

Occasionally, when depression causes physical symptoms (things like headaches or other stress-related problems), a person may see a doctor. Once in a while, even a well-meaning doctor may not realize somebody is depressed, and just treat the physical symptoms.

Warning Signs of Suicide

Everyone feels sad, depressed, or angry sometimes — especially when the pressures of school, friends, and family become too much to handle. Other times, though, feelings of sadness or hopelessness just won't go away. These feelings may begin to affect many areas of a person's life and outlook. Someone who experiences very intense feelings of depression or irritability may begin to think about suicide.

You may have heard that people who talk about suicide won't actually go through with it. That's not true. People who talk about suicide may be likely to try it.

Other warning signs that someone may be thinking of suicide include:

talking about suicide or death in general
talking about "going away"
talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out
having no desire to take part in favorite activities
having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits
engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or driving too fast, for example)

As a friend, you may also know if the person is going through some tough times. Sometimes, a specific event, stress, or crisis — like a relationship breaking up or a death in the family — can trigger suicidal behavior in someone who is already feeling depressed and showing the warning signs listed above.



Substance Abuse

Teens with alcohol and drug problems are also more at risk for suicidal thinking and behavior. Alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. Misuse of these substances can bring on serious depression. That's especially true for some teens who already have a tendency to depression because of their biology, family history, or other life stressors.

The problem can be made worse because many people who are depressed turn to alcohol or drugs as an escape. But they may not realize that the depressive effects alcohol and drugs have on the brain can actually intensify depression in the long run.

In addition to their depressive effects, alcohol and drugs alter a person's judgment. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems. Many suicide attempts occur when someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

This doesn't mean that everyone who is depressed or who has an alcohol or drug problem will try to kill themselves, of course. But these conditions — especially both together — increase a person's risk for suicide.
Suicide Is Not Always Planned

Sometimes a depressed person plans a suicide in advance. Many times, though, suicide attempts happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. A situation like a breakup, a big fight with a parent, an unintended pregnancy, being outed by someone else, or being victimized in any way can cause someone to feel desperately upset. Often, a situation like this, on top of an existing depression, acts like the final straw.

Some people who attempt suicide mean to die and some aren't completely sure they want to die. For some, a suicide attempt is a way to express deep emotional pain. They can't say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across. Sadly, many people who really didn't mean to kill themselves end up dead or critically ill.


Talking to Parents or other adults

ou probably talk to friends way more than you talk to your parents. That's natural. Even if you and your parents have a great relationship, you want to find your own path and make your own choices.

Still, most of us want a parent's help, advice, and support at times. But talking to the adults in your life can seem difficult or intimidating — especially when it comes to certain subjects. Here are some tips to make it easier.
Talk About Everyday Stuff — and Do It Every Day

The more you do something, the easier it gets. Talking to the adults in your life about everyday stuff builds a bond that can smooth the way for when you need to discuss something more serious.

Find something trivial to chat about each day. Talk about how your team did at the track meet. Share something one of your teachers said. Even small talk about what's for dinner can keep your relationship strong and comfortable.

It's never too late to start. If you feel your relationship with your parents is strained, try easing into conversations. Mention that cute thing the dog did. Talk about how well your little sister is doing in math. Chatting with parents every day not only keeps an existing relationship strong, it also can help a frayed relationship get stronger.

When parents feel connected to your daily life, they can be there for you if something really important comes up.
Raising Difficult Topics

Maybe you need to break bad news to a parent, like getting a speeding ticket or failing an exam. Perhaps you're feeling scared or stressed about something. Or maybe you just really, really want to tell your parents about your new boyfriend or girlfriend, but you don't know how they'll react, how it will feel to tell them, or how to find the words.

Here are 3 steps to help you prepare for that talk.
Step 1: Know What You Want From the Conversation

It takes maturity to figure out what you want to get out of a conversation. (Most adults aren't so good at this!)

What you hope to achieve can vary. Most often you'll probably want the adults in your life to do one or more of these things:

simply listen and understand what you're going through without offering advice or commentary
give permission or support for something
offer you advice or help
guide you back on track if you're in trouble — in a way that's fair and without harsh criticism or put-downs

Why think about this before you begin talking? So you can say why you want to talk in a way that communicates what you need. For example:

"Mom, I need to tell you about a problem I'm having, but I need you to just listen, OK? Don't give me advice — I just want you to know what's bothering me."
"Dad, I need to get your permission to go on a class trip next week. Can I tell you about it?"
"Grandad, I need your advice about something. Can we talk?"



Body Image and self Esteem

I'm fat. I'm too skinny. I'd be happy if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer legs.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through a ton of changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem.
Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?

Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.

Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance.

For many people, especially those in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem. That's because as kids develop into teens, they care more about how others see them.
What Influences a Person's Self-Esteem?
Puberty

Some teens struggle with their self-esteem when they begin puberty because the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural desire to feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for people to compare themselves with others. They may compare themselves with the people around them or with actors and celebs they see on TV, in movies, or in magazines.

But it's impossible to measure ourselves against others because the changes that come with puberty are different for everyone. Some people start developing early; others are late bloomers. Some get a temporary layer of fat to prepare for a growth spurt, others fill out permanently, and others feel like they stay skinny no matter how much they eat. It all depends on how our genes have programmed our bodies to act.

The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel about themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about their maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster. Girls may feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don't look big or muscular enough.
Outside Influences

It's not just development that affects self-esteem, though. Many other factors (like media images of skinny girls and bulked-up guys) can affect a person's body image too.

Family life can sometimes influence self-esteem. Some parents spend more time criticizing their kids and the way they look than praising them, which can reduce kids' ability to develop good self-esteem.

People also may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look from classmates and peers. Sometimes racial and ethnic prejudice is the source of such comments. Although these often come from ignorance, sometimes they can affect someone's body image and self-esteem.



How can I improve my self-esteem

Steve's mind wanders as he does his homework. "I'm never going to do well on this history test," he thinks. "My dad's right, I'm just like him — I'll never amount to much." Distracted, he looks down and thinks how skinny his legs are. "Ugh," he says to himself. "I bet the football coach won't even let me try out when he sees what a wimp I am."

Julio is studying for the same history test as Steve, and he's also not too fond of the subject. But that's where the similarity ends. Julio has a completely different outlook. He's more likely to think, "OK, history again, what a pain. Thank goodness I'm acing the subject I really love — math." And when Julio thinks about the way he looks, it's also a lot more positive. Although he is shorter and skinnier than Steve, Julio is less likely to blame or criticize his body and more likely to think, "I may be skinny, but I can really run. I'd be a good addition to the football team."
Self-Esteem Defined

We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young kids. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem.

Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything.

We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it.