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Are you feeling alone, depressed, suicidal?
Posted On Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Do you feel that life is too difficult to go on?
On World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10, chat with Johnson Thomas, director of AASRA. AASRA is an organisation that helps people in despair by providing emotional support, and unbiased caring through a help line service and walk-in centre.
Chat live on September 10 at 2pm on chat.timeswellness.com
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riya: hi johnson, just wanted to know how is it possible to prevent a person from committing suicide...they seem pretty stubborn in their attempt to do so....how can we lend a hand?
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JohnsonThomas: Well, lets understand that they are not being stubborn. They are just so desperate and feel as if no one cares enough that they think suicide is the only option for them. They need to be comforted. They need non-judgemental understanding and a listening ear to ease away their turbulent emotions.
iwanttolive: Do you feel committing suicide is a momentary reaction?
JohnsonThomas: Well, the impulse leading to the act is momentary. The suicidal thought though may have lingered in their minds for a while before the impulse takes over.
gogo: do you think that people who talk about suicide are looking for attention or are looking to some one to stop / save them ?
JohnsonThomas: Definitely. The very fact that they are willing to voice their most repressed fears shows that they are crying out for help(attention). They want someone to save them.Only when they feel thateven that is unavailable to them do they go in for the final life ending act.
sneaky: Very often poeple say that talking helps overcome depression and prevent suicide....however, someone in that state of mind DEFINITELY doesn't WANT to talk --- wats ur take on this?
JohnsonThomas: I disagree. They may seem like they don't want to talk. They may not want to talk to just anyone either. They need someone who shows caring , concern and will respect their feelings- someone who will not violate their confidence. They are in fact bursting with the pain and will unload it all if given the slightest chance.
gogo: there are increasing cases of people committing suicides for reasons that seem petty or small when we read about them in the papers. have people really become "sore losers" or cannot handle stress that they see suicide as the only option?
JohnsonThomas: Well our coping skills develop as we grow older. the events that occur in our lives during this process detemine the depth and the kind of coping skills that we develop. Some of us can bear an larger dose of pain than others. Then again some of us might even be afraid of a pin prick.That's just a physical example of what we experience emotionally.Emotional pain is rather much more difficult to deal with
gogo: with people in india increasingly living solitary lives, as well as the urge for privacy and family communications breaking down, do you think that these are the main reasons we have more people thinking of suicide as an option ?
JohnsonThomas: It is one of the major reasons definitely. The breaking up of the joint family systems and the increasing self-centered approach to life makes it much more difficult to find support and caring. Afterall we must never forget that man is a social animal.
effie: HOw often can someone cry wolf before we realise they really mean it?
admin: This is a moderated chat. Our expert will answer all relevant questions.
JohnsonThomas: There is no embargo on the number of times a person can say 'he/she is suicidal'. I dont think we should even consider the number important. What isimportant is that theperson is actuallygiving voice to that unbearable pain and we must pay heed to it everytime.
gogo: on the topic of emotiona pain, will "EQ" or emotional intelligence help? how can one develop it ?
JohnsonThomas: Emotional development is a part of growing up. It is a natural process. But It can also be aided/spurred on by our emotional intelligence
JohnsonThomas: There are several techniques and workshops available. NLP is one of them
admin: The chat is subject to moderation. In order to get quick responses kindly formulate your doubts into a single query and refrain from sending the same in bits and pieces.
effie: how can we recognise symptoms of suicide in a person?
JohnsonThomas: When a person begins to behave differently from what he did earlier, if he becomes aloof, has a sudden bout of introvertedness, begins to withdraw from society then it's possible he/she is suicidal.
gogo: how does a suicide prevention help line work ? for example if the person calls you up saying he / she has suicidal thoughts, or if a person calls you saying that a person they know has mentioned that they want to commit suicide?
JohnsonThomas: Well, a suicide prevention helpline like ours focuses on the feelings of the person who is calling irrespective whether he/she says he/she is calling on behalf of a third party. The feelings of the caller is what we address. When the mind is relieved of those negative feelings and emotions then we be;ieve the person becomes capable of searching out better options for himself or herself
effie: but there are so many people who undergo a change of personality but thankfully do not commit suicied. Does this mean that we have to keep all such people under surveillance?
JohnsonThomas: IT's not about keepng them under surveilance. When drastic changes in personality occur there is a possibility that the person may not be able to cope with life's challenges. We need to lend them a helping/listening ear. is that so difficult?
effie: For instance I know of a woman who radically underwent a change of personality from vivacious t to very quiet. At first we thought she might entertain suicidal thoughts, but I have found that the slightest hint of an illness or something wrotn with her she goes to the doctor.... so would u say she is suicidal?
JohnsonThomas: We do not assume, we ask them if they are. She may very well be experiencing suicidal thought. There is no harm in telling her that if she nees someone to talk to, you are available and capable of keeping things confidential.
effie: HOw do u give a listening ear to someone who refuses to talk?
JohnsonThomas: You can only try. It may take a while before the person begins to trust in you enough to be able to confide.
admin: Hi, That's all we have time for. Thanks for participating in the chat.
JohnsonThomas: Thank you very much. I hope that was helpful
JohnsonThomas: Do feel free to contact us at www.aasra.info
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