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Saturday, December 17, 2011

Dont think , Be happy

Don't Overthink Life! Think Less and Get Happy Babies have the charisma to melt anybody’s heart instantly; no one escapes the twinkling eyes or the innocent smile. Just their presence will cheer you up, make you forget your worries and tempt you to indulge into their world. What is it about the young ones that we so fondly adore: their innocence or their ignorance; their cheerful nature or their worry-less attitude? Though I don’t have answers to the above questions, I wonder as to what makes their aura so desirable. Every adult misses their younger days, the thought, “I wish I was a kid again,” resonates with most of us. This is probably the only aspect of life where egoistic adults can leave their success, money, freedom and independence behind for just another chance. Things they might be hesitant to leave even for their loved ones are simply a no-brainer here. When you ask people if they would do it all over again, most respond with an immediate “Yes”. Physically going back in time is not an option yet, but is there anything we can learn from the young ones? Here are some of my ideas. What would you add? Make Work Play The only way you can catch a child’s attention is when you make things seem like play. From learning to count to getting potty trained, everything must feel like fun if you want any success. So what about ourselves? Is your work something you look forward to? If not, is there anything you can do to make it enjoyable? I personally believe that if potty training can seem like a fun activity, anything can; it’s just a matter of perception. Forgive and Forget Babies can laugh and giggle all day because they don’t keep grudges against anyone. Their heart is pure and their mind empty to laugh out loud and enjoy the moment. Do you think they’ve constructed an evil plan against you because you refused them candy last time? Probably not, life moved on and so did they. So why do we hold on to our past and refuse to let go of the emotional baggage? Does it do us any good except prevent us from laughing wholeheartedly? Depending on how you made the kid feel, there is a minute possibility that they may be hesitant to give you a hug the next time they see you. But they are more than willing to give you another chance to make things right. Don’t think candy is good for their health? That’s ok; they are willing to negotiate, are you? Never-ending Curiosity Endless questions of young kids can sometimes be enough to drain the adult mind. They are always busy wondering how things work or why things are the way they are, leaving no room for boredom. Their curiosity gives them an exponential learning curve; they pick up new things quickly and are not repulsive to change. So why does life get boring as we grow older? We all can identify times in our past where time was scarce and desires limitless, fear was unknown and rules were redefined. Then what happened? Are we so engrossed in our daily lives that we miss to see the opportunities the world still has to offer? Unconditional Love Kids have a hug and a kiss for anyone and everyone who wants one. They don’t judge you before they come running into your knees and they don’t walk away if you don’t give them the same in return. They have no expectations from you and simply do what their heart desires. You want a hug, they’ll give you a hug, you want two, and they’ll give you two. So how did the adult world become so materialistic that we decide what we give based on what we think we might receive? Smile Have you ever seen kids smile as they stare at thin air, and wonder what made them giggle? I have, and I’ve concluded that either they can see things that we cannot or they simply don’t need a reason to smile. If there is only one thing I could learn from them, it would be to smile more. Not only does it make you feel good, it makes people wonder what you are smiling about. They’ll come to one of two conclusions: you’re in love or you’re crazy, either ways it will make them smile. Being happy and living life to the fullest is not a difficult task; you just need to have the right attitude and an open mind. Don’t envy the serene life of a baby, start living it yourself! [Vibha Dhawan] Written on 2/18/2011 by Vibha Dhawan. Vibha enjoys writing about life, from questioning the bases of our existence to wondering why we feel the way we do. She's fascinated by little things in life. It doesn't take much to make her smile. Visit her at Curious Lounge. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't worry, be happy! Comments (0) Add to My Stories Beat worrying for good Do you worry so much that you're worried about how much you worry? It's perfectly natural to have some stress in your life. However, if your anxiety becomes chronic you could be causing yourself unnecessary suffering. Fortunately, it is a habit which can be broken. To discover if anxiety is taking over your life, take our simple test. Then learn how to stop. How anxious are you? Read through these statements and rate how closely each one resembles you. Use a scale from one to nine, where one is 'not at all' and nine is 'very much'. Then, add up your scores and check the results. 1. Worrying makes me restless. 2. I get tense and uptight when I am anxious. 3. My heart races when I worry. 4. Worrying causes a tightness in my chest. 5. I react strongly to things. 6. I react first and think second. 7. Anxiety comes from nowhere. 8. I often overreact. 9. I fret about what I should do. 10. I fret about what others think. 11. I feel guilty about things. 12. I worry about being alone. 13. I imagine the worst that could happen. 14. Many of my worries begin with 'What if?' 15. I worry that something terrible will happen. 16. I notice negatives in situations. 17. My thoughts race from one concern to another. 18. Sometimes the kind of thing I worry about scares me. 19. When I am anxious I have a onetrack mind. 20. I'm afraid not to worry. 21. I worry when things are not done the way they should be. 22. I'm a perfectionist. 23. I worry about small flaws and errors. 24. I'm stressed about not doing well enough. 25. I worry about being calm and in control. 26. I worry about going crazy. 27. People think of me as a strong person. 28. I cannot control my worrying. 29. I am on guard all the time. 30. I pay attention to anything irregular. 31. I'm very watchful, even when resting or playing. 32. I like things to be predictable. 33. Anxiety keeps me awake at night. 34. Worrying interferes with my life. 35. I avoid things that I am anxious about. 36. I worry myself sick. If you scored 36-126: Relax, you keep your concerns under sensible control. However, notice any high scores and check them with our worry traits later. If you scored 127-234: You worry moderately but have the potential to become a chronic worrier. Take steps to contain your anxiety before it takes over your life. If you scored 235-324: You are hooked on worrying and it is detracting from the quality of your life. You can take control of it if you take firm steps right away. Find your 'worry place' A 'worry place' is a special place where you do nothing else but worry, which helps contain and control your fears, says Dr Potter. One woman picked the fire escape at work. When she felt the urge to fret, she would go there, she says. You can curb stress further by limiting the time you spend at your 'worry place' to, say, the last five minutes before lunch. Your 'worry place' should be accessible, slightly uncomfortable and boring - so that getting back to your life becomes more attractive. By worrying on schedule, you learn to control it. Keep a list of your anxieties and fret about them only in your 'worry place'. Do something pleasant afterwards. What's your problem? Notice where you scored nine, eight and seven in the test. Check below to find your predominant traits - you may have several - then try the tips that follow. If you scored high in questions: One to four, your problem is physical. Learn breathing, stretching and relaxation techniques, try exercise and cut down on caffeine. Five to eight, you are emotional and overreact. Gain perspective by thinking, 'How important will this be in a year's time?' Nine to 12, your focus is social anxiety. Make a list of everything that makes you feel good for a more positive focus. Thirteen to 16, your problem is catastrophic thinking. Challenge it by focusing on the facts. What are the logical possibilities? Then use your imagination to think about a happy ending for a change. Seventeen to 20, you are an obsessive thinker. Try distraction - concentrate on a simple mental task such as memorising a poem. Or phone a friend - conversations can dispel worry. Twenty one to 24, you are prone to being too judgmental. Drop the words 'should', 'must' and 'ought' from your vocabulary, and use 'like' or 'prefer' instead. Twenty five to 28, your problem is controlling behaviour. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, and don't be so self-critical. Twenty nine to 32, your trait is hypervigilance. Allow small changes in your life, shift everyday routines, such as walk a different route or try a new cafe, and learn simple breathing and meditation techniques. Thirty three to 36, worry is causing dysfunctional behaviour. Learn self-relaxation to help you sleep. Note your worries and use techniques from the other traits to help you gain perspective. If anxiety is getting out of control, seek help from your GP or a counsellor. Extracted by Jane Alexander from The Worrywart's Companion by Dr Beverly Potter (Wildcat Canyon Press, £10.99). Mail order on 0800 018 5450. Read more: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who make snap decisions are happier: Study Posted on: 17 Dec 2011, 04:08 PM ShareThis « Previous Next » People making snap decisions are happier People making snap decisions are happier London: Don't be too fussy over making a decision, for a new study says people who make snap decisions are happier than those who agonise over life's big choices. Researchers have found that thinking too much to get decisions spot on can become a vicious circle leading to obsessiveness and unhappiness. But instinctive, unfussy decision-making leads to a worry-free and healthier life. For their study, the researchers divided people into "maximisers" who obsess about everything and curiously named "satisficers" who breeze through life. Maximisers never really know if they get the big decisions about jobs and choice of partners right because theyn dwell on decisions long afterwards. On other hand, satisficers have the happy knack of instinctively being content with whatever choices they have made. The researchers claim that the indecisiveness of maximisers means they can never enjoy the "psychological benefits" of commitment and cause themselves grief, the 'Daily Express' reported. Their indecision can drive away partners, cost them a potentially lucrative career and even damage their health. Maximisers even get nervous at the sight of a final reductions signs during Christmas sales because it makes them feel pressured and forced into commitment. Lead author Professor Joyce Ehrlinger said: "Maximisers miss out on the psychological benefits of commitment, leaving them less satisfied than their more contented counterparts, the satisficers. "It's not just coffee-maker purchases that Maximisers stress over -- it's also the big life decisions such as choosing a mate, buying a house or applying for a job. Maximisers get nervous when they see a 'final reduction' sign because it forces them to commit." (Agencies) Tags: how to be happy, how to become happy, decisions and happiness, latest study

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