four things!!

Life can be difficult. Relationships are often difficult. However, after 20 years’ experience with patients and families facing profound challenges, Dr. Ira Byock has seen that four simple phrases can help us through the unpredictability of daily life.
"Please forgive me" "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you."

An excerpt from the book The Four Things That Matter Most A Book About Living by Ira Byock, M.D.

Restoring Closeness
The Four Things are powerful tools for reconciling the rifts that divide us and restoring the closeness we innately desire. When bad feelings occur in our close relationships, we tend to put off the work required to make things right. We always assume we’ll have another chance…later. That’s understandable, but it’s a mistake. Feeling resentful toward the people we love, or once loved, feeling distant from them, erodes our own happiness.
A brush with death often instills in us a newfound appreciation for the gift of life. Simple pleasures – a cup of tea, sunshine on one’s face, the voices of our children – feel like miracles. When we’ve had a close call that shakes us up, the anger we’ve felt toward people closest to us no longer seems significant. Ill will dissolves in love, appreciation, and affection, and we recognize the urgency of mending, tending, and celebrating our relationships.
Because accidents and sudden illness do happen, it is never too soon to express forgiveness, to say thank you and I love you to the people who have been an integral or intimate part of our lives, and say good-bye as a blessing. These simple words hold essential wisdom for transforming that which matters most in our lives – our relationships with the people we love.