AASRA Suicide Prevention http://aasra.forumotion.net

Crisis in School system

2012-01-28T03:15:00.001-08:00

crisis in school system Posted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.org Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:46 am (PST) Wipe the Blackboard Clean....URMI GOSWAMI Only when schools and teachers are empowered can there be a visible difference in outputs Two reports, Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) and Annual Status of Education Report in Rural India (ASER), leave no doubt that there is a crisis in the country's school system. Children, even when they attend school, are not learning as well as they should. This is not new. The response has been to stress on interventions to improve the 'quality', particularly of government schools. This debate needs to be anchored in facts if we are to avoid jumping to the conclusion that the government school system has failed or that it doesn't require the exchequer's support. First, there is a difference between learning the 3Rs (reading, writing and arithmetic), textbook learning and learning to think. ASER surveys children's skills of basic reading and maths skills at primary school or class-V level using standard texts. PISA tests critical thinking in maths, science and reading; it doesn't measure memorisation, rather demands drawing on knowledge and real-world problem-solving skills. Second, low learning levels plague the entire Indian school system. The focus has been on government-run schools. Though not quantified to the same extent, the learning problem is experienced in private schools as well. The problems revealed by ASER are likely to be less evident in private schools, because these schools cost money, pre-supposing that children who attend it have the requisite home environment and resources to buttress their school learning. Third, as the biggest education provider, problems in the government system are more evident. One reason why low learning outcomes is a bigger problem in government schools is because most of these children come from poor, disadvantaged and marginalised families, and often they are the first-generation learners. Given the sheer size of the government school system and the diversity, devising toscale solutions is difficult. Fourth, there has been a perceptible rise in the enrolment in private schools. Just about anyone with a bit of surplus money is sending their children to private schools. Two factors that contribute to this migration are teacher apathy and aspiration. A standard complaint is that teachers in government schools are not interested in teaching; often don't even come to the class. In private schools, because the management has far greater oversight, teachers - even when paid, according to some studies, only 20% or just 10% of a government teacher's salary - are seen in classrooms. Private schools invariably address aspirational issues such as teaching English and computers. So, the perception is that only private schools can help peopl

3 commit suicide in Mumbai daily

2012-01-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

Alarming: 3 commit suicide in Mumbai dailyPosted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.orgTue Jan 24, 2012 3:35 am (PST)Alarming: 3 commit suicide in Mumbai daily....JAYPRAKASH S. NAIDU
With incidents of suicide occurring every single day and little help coming from the state government to curb this menace, more attention is required to curb itIn Mumbai at least three persons ( 3.13) committed suicide in Mumbai every single day since 2005 till November 2011 states statistics available with the Mumbai Police. With incidents of suicide occurring every single day and little help coming from the state government to curb this menace, more attention is required to curb it, felt psychiatrists and crisis intervention centres in Mumbai.Dr. Harish Shetty, a psychiatrist fears that suicides may become an epidemic.Speaking to around 80 students of a few colleges at National College in Bandra, Shetty tried to sensitise young students towards the factors that may lead one to feel suicidal and how his/ her friends and relatives may avert it.Using a little bit of humour, Shetty taught students how to deal with common feelings of anger ( resentment), hatred, frustration, helplessness, incompetence, anxiety, fear, disgust, victimisation, waste of time and being useless. These feelings along with avoidance, rejection, over- involvement or over- protection may lead to suicidal feelings and can be heeled by providing hope and confidence orlove and humour, explained Shetty.Senior lecturer of Tata Institute of Social Sciences ( TISS), Katy Gandevia who for 14 years has helped to revive people feeling suicidal through a dedicated helpline service said, " Strengthening ones coping skills is required by parents. Also, counselors are required in every school to teach daily living skills and group discussions." Further, Shetty sighted break- ups, exams and parental pressure/ behaviour as triggering factors and informed students that a youngster going throughsuch situations must confront it and his/ her friend who perceive his/ her notions must try to give him hope and confidence or love and humour. Shetty further asked the students to spread the word and played an AR Rahman song, 'Choti si asha'just to boost their confidence.Speaking to FPJ, Gandevia as well as Shetty agreed that more needs to be done and the media should be sensitive while reporting.Gandevia said media is one of the contributing factors to suicides and must refrain from carrying visuals or dramatic coverage that attracts a smaller section of the society, triggering a suicide.In 2011 till November 1037 persons committed suicide.URL: http://www.freepressjournal.in/news/44334-Alarming--3-commit-suicide-in-Mumbai-daily.html

Simplify your life, Be the change

2012-01-26T05:57:00.001-08:00

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.- Henry David Thoreau -Life Is Easy ...When You Simplify"Life is easy" says Jon Jandai. "Why do we have to make it so difficult?" After pursuing "success" in Bangkok for several years, Jo dropped out of university to return to village life. There, he went back to the life he knew as a child, working 2 months of the year to grow rice (with an additional 15 minutes a day to grow vegetables), dug a couple of fish ponds, built his own homes using earthen bricks, and gave up buying clothes (he has so many clothes from friends and visitors that he has to give them away). Jo contends that to be happy, we cannot just rely on money; we have to reconnect with each other. { read more }Be The ChangeWhat "want" can you forego that will simplify your life? Make that mental shift today.

Decriminalisation of suicide a must!

2012-01-26T02:22:00.000-08:00

Suicide must be 'decriminalized' Posted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.org Wed Jan 25, 2012 3:20 am (PST) Suicide must be 'decriminalized' ....Shibu Thomas & Sumitra Deb Roy Decision To Slap Criminal Charges On Versova Woman Sparks Off Fresh Debate On Need For Change In Law Every day more than 273 people commit suicide in India, and around one lakh annually. And, if death doesn't get you, the law definitely will. The Mumbai police's decision to slap criminal charges on a woman from Versova who attempted suicide after seeing her friend commit it has once again sparked off a debate about a need to change the law. Legal experts agree that decriminalization of suicide is long overdue and the law commission as well as a recent Supreme Court (SC) judgment have recommended it. "A person who tries to commit suicide is not committing a crime but seeking help. Instead, the law today brands him as a criminal,'' said advocate Aniket Nikam, who practices in the Bombay high court. "The law should come to the aid of such persons by looking to rehabilitate them, not send them to prison.'' Under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code, attempting suicide is a punishable offence. The provision says: Whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year or with a fine, or with both. The Indian government had spoken about deleting the provision in the 1970s but little came out of it. The Bombay high court in 1987 had held that the right to life guaranteed by the Constitution includes the right to live as well as the right to end one's life if one desires, and had struck down Section 309. The SC upheld the view in 1994. But in 1996 a five-judge constitutional bench of the apex court ruled otherwise and held that the fundamental right to life did not include the right to live. It held that Section 309 was constitutionally valid. That remains the law of the land today, though the law commission in a report in 2008 had recommended decriminalization of Section 309. "It is unreasonable to inflict punishment upon a person who, on account of family discord, destitution, loss of a dear relation or other cause of a like nature, overcomes the interest of self-preservation and decides to take his own life. In such a case, the unfortunate person deserves sympathy, counseling and appropriate treatment, and certainly not prison." Last year, the SC, while ruling in the Aruna Shanbaug euthanasia case, told Parliament to delete Section 309 as it has become "anachronistic though it has become constitutionally valid". A bench headed by Justice M Katju remarked, "A person attempts suicide in a depression, and hence he needs help, rather than punishment." The Union government has undertaken steps to delete Section 309 and has obtained the consent of 25 states. Mental health professionals have pushed for the decriminalization of suicide and having a more sympathetic approach towards victims. "The nitty-gritties of decriminalization can be worked out but the basic concept is wrong and needs to change,'' said Dr Sanjay Bagadia, vice-president of the Bombay Psychiatric Society. Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty called the act of booking the woman as "atrocious" and said, "It will cause more trauma to an already traumatized victim." Shetty said that at any given point of time, 500-600 patients, who are admitted to hospitals, are those who have tried to take their lives. "Why selectively victimize her when so many similar patients who have attempted selfharm are left without an FIR," he said. How to handle people with suicidal tendencies * Do not act shocked, stay calm, keep talking to individual * Get help immediately by calling a suicide prevention helpline or a medical professional * Listen carefully to every word the person says and comfort with words of encouragement * If the person is in a very high risk of committing suicide, do not leave him/her alone till there is professional help * Try to learn what is going on in the person's mind * Do not be judgmental or make inappropriate statements * Police dealing with victim should shed image of negotiator/arbitrator and be gentle and kind WARNING SIGNS * Saying things like 'life is not worth it' * Winding up behavior * Suddenly indifferent to events and people around * Sympathizing with other suicide victims * Stops taking medication How The World Sees It - INDIA Under Section 309 of the IPC, a person who attempts suicide, can be criminally prosecuted. If found guilty, the offence is punishable with a jail term of one year. One who abets suicide of another can be punished with a prison term of up to 10 years - UK Suicide was a crime till it was decriminalized in 1961 - US Attempting suicide is no crime; helping someone commit it is - SINGAPORE A person who attempts to commit suicide can be imprisoned for up to one year - AUSTRALIA While it is not a crime to commit suicide, in the state of Victoria, a person who survives a suicide pact can be charged with manslaughter - NORTH KOREA Relatives of a person who commits suicide can be 'collectively punished' HELPLINES: Aasra(24x7) 91-22-27546669/7 Times View Very few events in life can be as traumatic as an unsuccessful suicide attempt. To treat a person, who is trying to recover from such an attempt, as a criminal is inhuman. The Versova woman's case is the most recent example of total non-application of good sense and a blinkered application of the law. She has first had the misfortune of seeing her boyfriend die a violent death; she has been affected so much so that she tries to end her life -in a similarly violent fashion-within a couple of days. She lands in hospital. The doctors try to heal her physical wounds; the mental scars would, hopefully, heal but that would take some time. But, even as she battles all this, she finds herself a criminal in the eyes of law. Does she really need to be treated like this? Should she-and her immediately family-be put through even more trauma of going through a case at the police station and in court? Should she not be treated as a patient who needs help from experts? Do people who attempt suicide deserve to be traumatised even more by society and law? Our law-makers need to ask themselves all these questions as soon as possible to ensure the law takes a more rational and less Kafkaesque view of suicide. URL: http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2012/01/19&PageLabel=7&EntityId=Ar00700&ViewMode=HTML Experts say it's an urgent public health issue....Sumitra Deb Roy The medical fraternity has reacted strongly after the police booked a woman from Versova for attempting suicide even as she is battling injuries at the Kokilaben Ambani Hospital in Andheri. The medical professionals were unanimous that suicide is not a law & order problem but an urgent public health issue. Mumbai, particularly, has seen an overwhelming increase in suicides in the past few years. Figures recently released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) showed that 1,192 Mumbaikars took their lives in 2010. The number was 13% more than that in 2009, and the reasons included family problems, illness, unemployment and exam-related failure. City hospitals, particularly civic ones, have jumped into designing programmes to educate community leaders, mohalla committees and institutions to read signs of disturbed minds. Sion Hospital has initiated an outreach programme in which its psychiatry department, in association with mental health professionals, started sensitizing mohalla committees, police officials, and school and college managements on signs of suicide and ways to help vulnerable ones. KEM too has designed a module for its students and has prepared suicide prevention programme CDs for schools. Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty said suicides are a public health issue and the city's stressful lives and shifting aspirations could be some reasons for it. "Suicides as a health issue can not be ignored anymore," he said. A specialist from the Bombay Psychiatrist Society added that with the incidence of suicides rising, it is important to understand the issue in Mumbai's context. "It could be a personal act but the behaviour is determined by individual and social factors," the doctor said. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that it is the thirteenth leading cause of death worldwide, and one of the leading causes of death in teenagers and young adults. Psychiatrist Sanjay Kumawat said more suicides in women, senior citizens and students is a worrying trend. "It needs sensitive handling by the police and society," he said. URL: http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2012/01/19&PageLabel=7&EntityId=Ar00701&ViewMode=HTML

First Aid worshop at Aasra on 29th jan 2012, 5.15 pm

2012-01-26T01:44:00.000-08:00

First Aid workshop (suicide intervention)Date: Sunday 29th January 2012, 5.15 pmLanguage of Instruction: English (with mock drills)Venue: Aasra center(www.aasra.info - for address and directions)Facilitator: Ronald Van Woerkom(Final Year medical student , Netherlands)Assists: Aasra volunteersOpen to all. Limited seats only.Please call and register to attend. Helpline: 91-22-27546667/9

How to reduce stress at the workplace- Wall street journal

2012-01-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

By RUTH MANTELLYour workload has increased, so have your boss's expectations. But scaling back could mean losing a job.Talk about stress.Paul Baard, an organizational and motivational psychologist at Fordham University's graduate business school in New York, knows just how stressful a work environment can get. He has consulted with athletes in the high-stakes, high-pressure world of professional sports.What secret has he passed along to those clients? When you are in a slump, you can still contribute by encouraging your teammates.Enlarge Image15MWc15MWcChristoph HitzRather than burdening a team with distracting self-doubt and pity, try to help others, he advises. "In order to remain self-motivated, research has found that the innate psychological need for competence must be satisfied," Mr. Baard says. "This drive pertains not only to the ability to do a job but to achieve something through it—to have impact, to contribute. A way an employee can expand opportunities to satisfy this need is to help her team succeed by encouraging others, even if her direct contributions are limited."Click Here to View Other Health & Wellness ArticlesAge, occupation and family circumstances, among other factors, can all play a part in how workers respond to different stressors. But experts say there are steps that can help you take control of your happiness at work this year.Find meaning in your tasks. Commitment to a goal beyond self-promotion can help a worker manage stress levels, says John Weaver, a psychologist at Psychology For Business, a Brookfield, Wis.-based employment consultancy.Several years ago, Mr. Weaver consulted for a long-term-care facility in Wisconsin that had flooded. Because of the water damage, the residents and employees had been forced to move into an already occupied facility. Employees felt cramped and annoyed, he says, and pettiness abounded.To help the workers regain a positive attitude, Mr. Weaver asked each person this question: Why do you do this work?"People don't work in nursing because it pays so much or it's glamorous or it's easy," he says. "As they heard the question you could see their attitude change. They could see the reasons why they needed to work together, to put aside difficulties and compromise, and residents were treated better."Remembering why you are in a business can help you manage stress, Mr. Weaver says.While working on his dissertation, Rick Best, now a health-services scientist for Lockheed Martin, researched stress among nurses who work with veterans, a group that faces high demands with low resources. One might have expected elevated levels of burnout. But there were high levels of satisfaction."The meaning they got from their job was high," says Mr. Best. "They went into the profession of nursing to help people. As a consequence, they derived much meaning from what they were doing, and they were better able to handle stress."Reduce your expectations. Given how much energy employees devote to their job, there can be quite a few expectations wrapped up in work. Workers often look to employers for career, socialization, and personal and intellectual growth opportunities."With so many expectations, it's no wonder that work can't meet all of that. So we get disappointed, but I don't know that work could fulfill all those things," says Ken Pinnock, associate director of employee relations and services at the University of Denver.Due to so many layoffs in the last few years, many have lost friends and colleagues, and have realized that job security, taken for granted at times, is gone. There have also been cuts when it comes to extras, such as educational opportunities, celebrations and room for career advancement.There can be an element of loss when employees realize that the workplace has changed. However, personal and professional goals can still be pursued without an employer's support."The way back from this is to try to gain perspective about work, realizing that we are still ultimately in charge of our careers and work, and we don't have to turn to our employers to develop ourselves, or look to them to be responsible for us," Mr. Pinnock says.Look at "challenges," not "problems." Rather than perceiving problems at work, look at them as challenges."The people who approach work as an opportunity to learn are much more satisfied with their jobs and performance, and find themselves eager to take on new challenges," Mr. Weaver says. "They aren't trying to prove that they are the smartest. They are more likely to learn from their own experiences and mistakes."Setting intermediate goals can also help workers derive a sense of accomplishment, and keep pace with longer-term targets, Mr. Best says.Write to Ruth Mantell at ruth.mantell@dowjones.com

AasraVolunteerSpeak-Problem of plenty … Why having more choices is not always good?

2012-01-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

In today’s world, there is an explosion of choices. We have more choices than ever before. But are we better of with so many choices? Well on surface it looks quite logical that more choices are always good. But recent research strongly suggests that, psychologically, this assumption is wrong. Although some choice is undoubtedly better than none, more is not always better than less.

When people are faced with having to choose one option out of many desirable choices, they begin to consider hypothetical trade-offs. They begin searching for the most ideal option. They evaluate options in terms of missed opportunities instead of the opportunity's potential. They become compulsive comparers. The sense of lose is caused due to having let go other opportunities. One of the costs of making a selection is losing the opportunities that a different option would have afforded. This leads to anxiety and sometimes opportunity costs may create enough conflict to produce paralysis i.e. one chooses to not chose at all. People start deferring there decisions because of fear of anticipated regret i.e. if they chose wrong alternative.

Even if one is able to chose, the satisfaction out of that choice suffers. One may do well objectively but feels worse. Losing opportunity of the good parts of other options make even good choices look less good. Unchosen possibilities linger forever. Feeling of regret also creeps. You start blaming yourself for not choosing the most appropriate option. When there are so many options, chances increase that a really good one is out there, and you feel that you ought to have been able to find it. It’s easy to imagine a better alternative. End result is under appreciation and self blame. But when there are limited number of options what one really does is he blames the world and there is blame-sharing which leads to no regret.

So what does all this mean? Does it mean that we would all be better of if our choices were severely restricted, even eliminated? I do not think so. The relation between choice and well-being is very complicated. Some choices is better is than none but there is some magical number (which I do not know) after which additional choices starts showing negative effects.(P.s: The views expressed in this post are entirely that of the author)

Stress and Coping workshop for 10th,11th and 12th std students of Municipal school at Shiravne

2012-01-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

Workshop conducted at Kala Kendra, Shiravne village, near Nerul .70 particpants included students and parents.Facilitator : Johnson Thomas, Director, AasraHost: Children of the World

51 % of colleges dont have principals, RTI query reveals

2012-01-21T08:50:00.001-08:00

51% of city colleges don't have principalsPosted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.orgThu Jan 19, 2012 9:06 am (PST)51% of city colleges don't have principals....Prajakta ChavanRTI QUERY REVEALS 319 out of 620 posts in 24 streams are vacantAs many as 51% colleges under the University of Mumbai do not have principals. According to information obtained by an activist under the Right to Information Act (RTI), 319 out of 620 principal posts in the colleges registered with the university are vacant in 24 streams.Some of the renowned city colleges in law, management, commerce, arts, engineering, aviation, architect do not have principals, revealed the reply received by Anil Galgali, RTI activist.Altogether, 28 out of 35 law colleges, 50 out of 137 arts, science and commerce colleges and 12 of the 14 architect colleges do not have a principal. "These figures are shocking as the situation at an educational institute can be chaotic if the principal is missing," said Dr Marie Fernandes, principal of St Andrews College, Bandra.The principal also serves as a common link between the education department, the Mumbai University, the college management and the college. "The absence of a principal could adversely affect coordination with the above agencies and subsequently the future of thousands of students," added Fernandes.A university official said, "Every year the university sends a circular to all colleges to appoint a principal as per university standards, which is compulsory 15 years experience and a Phd degree. Since colleges find it difficult to get eligible candidates, they do not appoint principals."University officials, however, say the situation is not that bad."The university constantly follows up with colleges for the appointment of full-time principals. In addition, the colleges must be appointing ad-hoc authorities to take care of dayto-day administration," said Dr MS Kurhade, Mumbai University Registrar.URL: http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/PUBLICATIONS/HT/HM/2012/01/19/ArticleHtmls/51-of-city-colleges-dont-have-principals-19012012007001.shtml?Mode=1

The Tragedy of Childhood in India

2012-01-19T23:58:00.001-08:00

The tragedy of childhoodPosted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.orgWed Jan 18, 2012 8:00 am (PST)Cafe EconomicsThe tragedy of childhood....Niranjan RajadhyakshaThe pathetic state of Indian children is at odds with high hopes about the potential of a country with a young populationIt is not easy being a child in India.The results of a survey conducted by the Citizen's Alliance against Malnutrition and the Naandi Foundation showed last week that far too many Indian children continue to be malnourished. Millions of children under the age of six are underweight, stunted or anaemic. It is well understood that the first six years have a lasting impact on future productivity as well as quality of life. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has called it a national shame.Two independent reports on how little children are learning in school tell a sorry story as well. A global study of learning outcomes places India (more specifically the states of Himachal Pradesh and Tamil Nadu) at nearly the bottom of a pile of 74 countries. Only schoolkids in Kyrgyzstan did worse. Shanghai (a proxy for China) topped the league table in all three categories: reading skills, mathematics and scientific literacy.The latest report by activist group Pratham shows that fewer than half of the class V students tested could read the class II textbooks. Learning outcomes have fallen in recent years. Also, the two issues of malnutrition and poor educational outcomes could be linked: various studies show that inadequate nutrition in early childhood can affect school performance.To be sure, there are signs of gradual progress in many indicators of child welfare. Infant mortality continues to fall. School enrolment is now almost ubiquitous in even poor communities. Dropout rates have come down. The data on child malnutrition suggests that matters have improved a bit compared with the results of the third National Family Health Survey of 2006.However, the progress has been slow. Consider the data on infant mortality. India has to cut its child mortality rate by two-thirds between 1990 and 2015 if it is to meet the fourth of the eight Millennium Development Goals that countries have agreed to. Data from the World Bank shows that India had an infant mortality rate of 81.4 in 1990; it has to thus bring this down to around 28 deaths per 1,000 live births by 2015. The latest data shows that there were 50 deaths per 1,000 live births in 2010, three points down from the previous year. Even a reduction at the current rate-3 points a year-will not help India reach its target. This pace of decline is inadequate given what India has committed to.The pathetic state of Indian children sits tragically at odds with the high hopes about the economic potential of a country with a young population in an ageing world. A country with such poor quality of future human capital could find it hard to absorb people into the modern sectors of its economy. It is well known that a vast majority of even Indian graduates are unemployable.Though throwing more money at the problems will not help by itself, it is worth seeing how much money the Indian government spends each year for the next generation. The numbers are not explicitly released, but one civil society organization has been assiduously parsing the annual budget statements to understand how much money is allocated to programmes that help children either directly or indirectly. Such analysis by HAQ Centre for Child Rights shows that in the national budgets from FY05 to FY09, an average of 4.45% of total government spending was allocated to children. Of the money spent each year, an average two-thirds is spent on education, one-third is spread equally between health and development programmes, and there is a minuscule portion spent on the protection of children.There is no single explanation for these failures to provide adequate nutrition and effective schooling. Some critics see in them an indictment of economic reforms. Others point to state failure. The paradox of weak human development amid rising incomes suggests that many problems have deep social causes, which is why India often comes out worse on these parameters than even some of the basket cases in sub-Saharan Africa, where incomes are lower and state capacity is weaker. For example, the persistence of malnutrition across income groups is also a result of factors such as gender equality (pregnant women do not get extra nutrition), caste rules (diets in many social groups are not well diversified), public health systems (the abysmal state of drinking water) and ignorance (inadequate breast feeding of babies or lack of micronutrients such as iron and folic acid supplements).The problems faced by Indian children arise out of complex reasons, and thus need a multi-pronged attack. Not every problem can be solved with higher budgetary allocations to flagship programmes such as the Integrated Child Development Services. Yet, there can be no denying the state of the Indian child is nothing to write home about. It's not something that a country that is betting on a demographic dividend should either be proud or confident about.Niranjan Rajadhyaksha is executive editor of Mint. Comments are welcome at cafeeconomics@livemint.comURL: http://www.livemint.com/2012/01/17212533/The-tragedy-of-childhood.html

CSR not mandatory for Public Sector companies says Veerappan Moily

2012-01-19T23:44:00.000-08:00

CSR not mandatory for private sector companies: Moily Posted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.org Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:24 am (PST) CSR not mandatory for private sector companies: Moily The government on Wednesday clarified that the new Companies Bill is not going to make spending on CSR activities mandatory for companies. "There is some misconception among the public that CSR will be mandatory...I would like to make it clear that it is not at all correct," Corporate Affairs Minister Veerappa Moily told reporters at the National CSR Conclave here. According to Clause 135 of the Companies Bill, 2011, every company with a net worth of Rs 500 crore or more, or turnover of Rs 1,000 crore or more, or a net profit of Rs 5 crore or more in a financial year, will have to form a CSR committee consisting of three or more directors, of which at least one director should be an independent director. Moily further said the government's initiatives on CSR are strong enough and this is the first time in the world that companies have been mandated to constitute a board for formulating CSR policies. "So this should show that we are serious enough. If for some reason the company fails to do so, the board will prepare a report explaining the reasons for doing so and give it to the shareholders," he said. In addition, he said the government is continuously updating the CSR guidelines for companies across all sectors. "We are trying to build up a CSR culture in the country like in the West and all companies are on board with us on this issue," Moily said. On being asked why there is no provision for penalising companies that do not comply with the CSR provisions, he said, "The CSR is a rule of law and not a rule by law. So we are confident that the companies will come up with new avenues to execute CSR... so there is no question of penalising them." Unlike the provisions stipulated for private companies in the new corporate law, spending on CSR activities is mandatory for PSUs and non-adherence to the guidelines attracts penal action. Under the CSR provisions for PSUs, a company with a net profit of less than 100 crore will have to spend 3-5 per cent of it on the CSR. Those PSUs with a net profit of Rs 100-500 crore a year will have to earmark 2-3 per cent of it for CSR. A company with a bottomline of Rs 500 crore and above will have to set aside 0.5-2 per cent for CSR activities, which should preferably be related to its business as a natural corollary. According to the norms, investment in CSR should be project-based and mere donations to philanthropic/charity bodies would not be treated as this activity. Furthermore, expenditure related to staff benefits will not be counted as CSR. URL: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics/nation/csr-not-mandatory-for-private-sector-companies-moily/articleshow/11541015.cms

The crisis in the Indian Education sytem

2012-01-19T23:35:00.001-08:00

The crisis in learning: why increased spending is not improving outcPosted by: "Sheetal - Karmayog" info@karmayog.orgThu Jan 19, 2012 12:22 am (PST)The crisis in learning.....Rukmini BanerjiWhy isn't increased spending on education translating into better outcomes for children?The Annual Status of Education Report (ASER) 2011 was released on January 16. Data collected from 558 rural districts, over 16,000 villages, 3.3 lakh households and 6.3 lakh children point to two clear national trends. Both of these need to be better understood, as they have important implications for growth and equity in India.First, nearly 50 per cent of rural children (age 6-14) pay for their education either in a private school or to a private tutor and benefit from this personal investment. As far are private inputs into elementary education are concerned, Indian states and regions can be neatly categorised into slabs. On the one hand, states in the northern belt - Jammu & Kashmir, Punjab, Uttarakhand, Haryana, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh - have private enrollment levels that are above 30 per cent, and rising. In the Northeast, more than 40 per cent of all rural children in Nagaland, Manipur and Meghalaya are enrolled in private schools. South of the Vindhyas, between 30 to 40 per cent of rural children in Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh go to private schools. And then there is Kerala, where children attending government schools are now in a minority (at 40 per cent).On the other hand, there are states like Bihar, Odisha, Jharkhand and West Bengal, where private school provision is low and most children attend government schools. Here the additional supplement for learning comes in the form of "tuition" classes . On average, across Std 1-5 close to 50 per cent of all children take paid classes outside of school. Adding together the proportion of children who go to tuition classes along with those who go to private schools we find that half of all children access some form of private education services.The HRD ministry's calculations for 2008-10 suggest that the current average per child expenditure by government is close to Rs 6,314 per year. The budget for Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan, Government of India's flagship scheme for elementary education, has gone from Rs 7166 crore in 2005-2006 to about Rs 21,000 crore last year. Despite the rising expenditures on elementary education, parents seem to be increasingly "voting with their feet" and choosing private options. In the last five years since ASER started its annual measurement, private school enrollment across rural India has gone from 18.7 per cent to 25.6 per cent and some states getting close to the 50-50 mark. If this trend continues, then it is not impossible that in five years, children going to government schools will become a minority in India.The second headline from ASER 2011 has to do with the low level of basic learning outcomes of children, especially in reading and arithmetic. This estimate is half of all children in Std 5 cannot read Std 2-level text. Forty per cent of Std 5 students cannot correctly solve a 2-digit subtraction problem with borrowing. But this is not news anymore. For the last six years, ASER has been reporting similar findings. What is new is the hint that the already low levels may be witnessing a further decline. This year's ASER findings indicate that learning levels are lower as compared to last year, especially in government schools in the Hindi-speaking states.Domestic efforts at measurement of learning outcomes such as the annual ASER surveys, periodic studies by Educational Initiatives and NCERT are increasing. There is also an accumulating body of research by internationally known academics such as Abhijit Banerjee and Esther Duflo, Karthik Muralidharan and Lant Pritchett. Taken together, these point to a serious and deep crisis in learning in primary schools. The recent, much publicised PISA 2009+ result is the latest addition to the list. Many of these studies go beyond pointing to the problem, they also outline what "works".The growing body of empirical evidence shows that the increased expenditures in education are not translating into better outcomes. Yet, the Central government remains steadfastly focused on inputs and outputs and does not seem able or willing to bring issues of children's learning to the centre of the stage either in policy or in practice. There is no shift towards tackling the problem of low learning in a direct manner. Nor is there any effort to understand how expenditures can be made more effective in terms of learning outcomes.In a way, the provisions and norms of the RTE are used to justify the continued thrust on inputs. Much of the substance of the results framework of the annual planning documents in elementary education continue to be concerned with infrastructure, teacher recruitment and training. There is only a fleeting mention of reporting of learning outcomes towards the fag end of the list.In the SSA planning documents, there are only two line items where states and districts can directly plan and implement learning improvement programmes if they should wish to do so. These are (a) the innovation grant of Rs 1 crore per district, and (b) the learning enhancement programme. Together these account for less than 1 per cent of the total education budget (and 3 per cent of SSA budget in 2010-11). Expenditure tracking efforts by Accountability Initiative indicate that these expenditures are slow and tend to happen towards the end of the financial year (which is also the end of the school year). Expenditure on teacher training is about 2 per cent of the total SSA budget in 2010-11. Given the current guidelines by Government of India, it is not clear how a massive push for improvement of learning outcomes will be fuelled, if at all the government at any level should want to do so.The writing on the wall is clear and it is getting bigger and bolder each year. Ordinary people are able to read it. People are voting with their feet and trying to effectively use the resources they have to get the "best" education their money can buy. But policy makers and planners and those who control the expenditure of public funds on education are either unable or unwilling to read this writing on the wall. Without basic education, the future of children is grim. If 100 million children today do not get even the basic skills of reading and arithmetic, it is unlikely that India will grow into a mature economy or a mature democracy.The right to education promises many things. In addition to teachers in every class, drinking water, boundary walls and so on, it speaks of quality education at the appropriate age-grade for all children. By just providing inputs we are not bringing in equity. Unless the entire expenditure and the effort behind the provision of schooling is translated effectively into learning outcomes, the real battle for equal opportunity will be lost and our large and growing public expenditure in education wasted.The writer works with Pratham and ASER CentreURL: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/the-crisis-in-learning/901183/0

Socialblood on facebook- Easy accesss to blood in emergencies

2012-01-18T02:18:00.001-08:00

Karthik Naralasetty: socialblood saves livesYahoo! India – Mon, Jan 16, 2012 Email PrintDonating blood has gone the social network way, and has become much easier and accessible. www.socialblood.org is a social platform designed to serve a pool of emergency blood donors in 18 countries. All you have to do is become a member of the Socialblood.org on Facebook. The brainchild behind this innovative service is 22-year-old Karthik Naralasetty. A Rutger school dropout, he started a technology company called redcode Informatics in 2009. By 2011, socialblood.org came into being. The idea behind this was sowed when he witnessed a family in India struggling to find regular blood transfusions for their four-year-old daughter to treat her for a genetic blood disease called thalassemia. Naralasetty says, “We created a social campaign that takes advantage of Facebook as a platform to connect citizens of the same blood group and quickly locate emergency blood donors. One of the most urgent needs in case of emergency is quickly locating blood donors so we created www.socialblood.org.”Furthermore, there are eight Facebook groups for eight blood groups and is opened to the general public. Through the Blood Groups website, global citizens are asked to join a selection of eight different Facebook Blood Groups: A+, A-, B+,B-, AB+, AB-, O+ and O-. If there is a need for a specific blood type, a message will go out to all the members of that particular blood type group. In the coming days, socialblood plans to partner with hospitals and NGOs across the globe who are willing to take the advantage of the network and help people who need blood.Launched in July 2011, this social network has grown in leaps and bounds with over 2000 members as of today. Naralasetty expects to reach 10,000 members in all the groups by the mid of 2012. Their numbers in Brazil have been particularly impressive with 300 people joining their respective blood groups and sending out information and alerts in less than a week. In November 2011, he won the Staples Youth Social Entrepreneur Award for his work at socialblood.org.Nalarsetty’s future plans include currently working on a website that allow users to sign up with their Facebook accounts, and using both data from Facebook and fetching the location data from the users’ browser, it’ll place them on a map. People searching for donors will then be able to press a button on the website and enter the blood type they require and the website will help them locate people within a five-kilometre radius who’ve registered as donors. If no one is found, the search is expanded to the entire city. Besides this, Naralasetty plans to work on Android and iPhone apps, too.

NRI family suicide in Dubai

2012-01-18T02:13:00.000-08:00

Indian man, daughter found dead in suspected suicide attempt in DubaiBy ANI | ANI – Mon, Jan 16, 2012

Dubai, Jan 15 (ANI): An Indian man and his daughter have been found dead inside their apartment in Dubai while his wife is hospitalised in a critical condition in an apparent mass suicide attempt.Rijesh, 32, his wife Sreesha, 30, and five-year-old daughter Avanti, from Kannur district of Kerala, were living in a building behind the Al Musalla Tower in Bur Dubai.According to Gulf News, Dubai police found the man hanging from the ceiling in his flat and his little daughter dead in her room without any apparent signs of what caused her death.The man's wife was found in the bathroom screaming hysterically after slashing her wrist and was hospitalized in a critical condition.According to sources, police were informed after the family did not respond to repeated calls by relatives on their phones, and the neighbours grew suspicious when the family did not respond to the doorbell.The incident has sent shockwaves across the community as residents are baffled by what could have pushed the young family to take such extreme measures.According to the report, Rijesh was working with a consultancy firm and recently moved to an electronics company and his wife Sreesha was working with a private company. The daughter was attending kindergarten at an Indian school. (ANI)

Aasra at the Mumbai Marathon 15th January 2012

2012-01-17T23:14:00.001-08:00

20 creative geniuses who were also mentally Ill

2012-01-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Dear JohnsonMy name is Emma from Accreditedonlinecolleges.org. Just wanted to drop you a line as a new fan of (AASRA Suicide Prevention http _aasra.forumotion.net). It's great finding a blog with such informative resources and creative insights. On a related note, we recently published an article that deals with Mental Health, so we thought you might want to share it with your readers. It's called 20 Creative Geniuses Who Were Also Mentally Ill, and you can find it here: (http://www.accreditedonlinecolleges.org/blog/2012/20-creative-geniuses-who-were-also-mentally-ill/)Thanks for your time, and keep up the great work! Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Sincerely,Emma20 Creative Geniuses Who Were Also Mentally IllJan 8th, 2012Both serious academics and pop psychologists appear preoccupied over finding definitive links between mental illness and influential, brilliant creative output, with floods of studies attempting to make sense of it all. Whether or not such a connection genuinely exists, of course, will probably remain in the theoretical realm for the foreseeable future. One can certainly alter the course of human achievement without any sign of mental illness or distress. And, despite unfortunate, prevailing stigmas often painting those with psychiatric concerns as incompetent or incapable of accomplishing much of anything to their fullest potential, it is entirely possible to exist as both a genius and a troubled individual. Without the following thinkers, mankind would end up denied some incredible insight into the elations and despairs inherent to existence. To condemn them for the pain so many were both with — or conditioned into by external circumstances — is, in some ways, to condemn the species itself. Vincent van Gogh Probably more than any other influential, creative mind in history, renowned painter Vincent van Gogh is so often cited as the quintessential troubled artist. His tragic life ended in suicide at age 37, and experts continue debating what diagnosis afflicted him; bipolar disorder, complications from epilepsy, or schizophrenia remain the most popular candidates. According to his correspondence, van Gogh experienced at least two major depressive episodes, followed by intensely innovative periods. Sylvia Plath Lauded for her deeply personal writings, much of this great American poet's oeuvre illustrated the very real suffering she experienced as a result of bipolar disorder. Semi-autobiographical novel The Bell Jar pulled from Sylvia Plath's own personal experiences with self-mutilation, suicide attempts, depression, insomnia, paranoia, and other manifestations of her diagnosis. Following a grim suicide, her work eventually became integral in helping mainstream readers better understand how mental illness impacts patients. Ludwig van Beethoven Psychology was not exactly a cohesive discipline in Ludwig van Beethoven's time, of course, but that doesn't stop contemporary professionals from analyzing his personal letters and other writings. The brilliant composer admitted to harboring suicidal thoughts, and some experts believe his cycles between crippling depression and wildly fertile creativity signaled bipolar disorder. Other theories posit that a history of physical abuse at the hands of his alcoholic father, which may have instigated his eventual deafness, left him traumatized and troubled in perpetuity. Martin Ramirez Fans of art history and The New York Times both consider Martin Ramirez's collages and drawings some of the most essential examples of Art Brut (or "outsider art") ever. During his three decades in a California mental health facility, he produced hundreds of pieces, attracting attention for particularly showstopping line work. The completely self-taught Ramirez lived with schizophrenia, although debates continue waging over whether or not it held any significant influence over his eventual oeuvre. Virginia Woolf Virginia Woolf likely experienced bipolar disorder during an era when medical professionals proved poorly equipped to deal with the symptoms and presentations. Writing offered one of her only solaces for channeling the transitions between suicidal depression and overwhelming elation, as her doctors preferred isolationist bed rest worsening the condition. Unfortunately, the solution eventually drove the modernist author to drown herself as a means of quelling the emotional and physical torment stemming from both her diagnosis and the loneliness of the main treatment option. Elliott Smith A history of abuse as a child — details of which neither friends nor family will disclose — drove this influential, introspective singer-songwriter to depression, substance abuse, and suicide. In all likelihood, his heavy heroin usage acted as a means of alleviating both the lingering trauma and resulting descent into despair; even after jettisoning the habit, though, Elliott Smith's music garnered acclaim for its honest depiction of wrenching emotional (and physiological) pain. From a Basement on a Hill currently stands as one of the scene's most earnest albums exploring the internal struggles of the not-so-willingly alienated. Eugene O'Neill Depression ran in this Pulitzer and Nobel-winning playwright's family, afflicting at least both parents, a brother, and even his children, two of whom eventually killed themselves. Eugene O'Neill himself grappled against alcoholism in response to the condition, to the point he attempted suicide and spent a stint in the hospital. Adding to the tragedy, a misdiagnosis of Parkinson's Disease (which was more than likely late-onset cerebellar cortical atrophy in reality) meant he ended up ingesting drugs that did nothing for his increasing physiological pain, including tremors and brain shrinkage, which exacerbated his mental health in turn. Michelangelo Buonarroti Literal Renaissance man Michelangelo Buonarroti garnered almost as much fame for his nasty temper and antisocial tendencies as his genuinely breathtaking sculptures, paintings/frescoes, architecture, and (to a lesser extent) poetry. Along with severe knee, kidney, and bladder issues plaguing him for much of his existence, the brilliant artist's output features a common melancholic, sometimes defeatist or fatalistic, theme. Obviously, at this point one cannot present a definitive diagnosis, though mental health professionals believe first-person accounts of his erratic behavior reveal a man with bipolar disorder, clinical depression, or both. Brian Wilson Regardless of one's opinion regarding surf, pop, and psychedelic rock, nobody will deny that The Beach Boys left a significant impression on the music industry; frontman Brian Wilson typically earns most of the credit for their widespread success. A mélange of drug use, depression, and schizoaffective disorder plagued him with hallucinations, paranoia, bouts of overeating, and stints in bed sometimes lasting months on end. These days, Wilson does not shy away from detailing his experiences, hoping that the honesty will help others come to terms with their own mental health struggles. Amy Tan The Joy Luck Club still sits on English class syllabi across the nation, and for good reason; few novels delve so deeply into the oft-marginalized experiences of Chinese-American women with such deft insight. Author Amy Tan hails from a family plagued with depression and suicide, and when symptoms of the former started creeping in, she panicked to the point she denied herself valuable treatment. But once everything grew almost entirely unbearable, Tan courageously entered psychotherapy and started on a Zoloft regimen that met her personal needs. Edvard Munch Even individuals largely uninterested in the art world still know expressionist masterpiece "The Scream" through pop cultural osmosis (or, at least, news regarding a plethora of thefts and theft attempts!); artist Edvard Munch's entire body of work encompasses some truly amazing paintings, drawings, prints, and etchings beyond that, of course. Growing increasingly hermitic as time ticked forward, he oftentimes found himself crunched beneath despair due to his own poor health, losing his mother and sister at an early age, an emotionally estranged father, frustration with the art scene, and a mounting obsession with death. Anxiety and depression, as one can imagine, fueled some of his most powerful, memorable images — including his most famous piece. Kurt Vonnegut One of America's most beloved 20th century wits fell into such a heavy state of depression for a time — to the point he ditched his celebrated writing career almost entirely. Breakfast of Champions marked his emergence from the period, and Kurt Vonnegut also followed it up by openly talking about everything the experience entailed with the hopes of promoting mental illness de-stigmatization. Part of him, however, always thought that some degree of melancholia was absolutely essential in cobbling together literary masterpieces. Frida Kahlo For much of her troubled life, Frida Kahlo found herself forced to live with a staggering array of neurological, physical, and mental conditions; almost all ended up depicted in her art with the raw honesty that landed her a laudable spot in history. Decades-long battles with immense physiological pain eventually led her to start relying on increasingly heavy painkillers to dull the depression, which in turn stoked suicidal thoughts, especially after her art began declining in quality. She died of a pulmonary embolism instead of her own hand, but her masterpieces remain among the world's most effective, evocative creative depictions of pain ever produced. Woody Allen Anyone who's ever sat down with a Woody Allen film probably wouldn't be surprised to find out about his ongoing fight against depression, nor the fact that he uses comedy as a coping mechanism. The roles he assigns himself grow organically from his own perspectives, flaws, and experiences, serving as both self-assessment and an effective glimpse into how anxiety comes to shape a patient's life. Movies, however, do not offer the only creative solace — he has also written extensively about depression and anxiety, usually with a splash of his signature humor. Philip K. Dick Drug abuse, particularly hallucinogens, and mental illness involving visions (more than likely schizophrenia exacerbated by rampant LSD usage) almost singlehandedly kickstarted the entire cyberpunk genre. One of pioneer Philip K. Dick's seminal novels, VALIS, exists solely because of the visual and auditory experiences resulting from this mix. His depression, nervous breakdowns, and anxiety over a dead twin sister receive less attention than the other conditions, but still left a major mark on the science fiction classics he published. Mark Rothko Mark Rothko, the genius abstract expressionist, only started garnering his current acclaim after committing suicide in 1970. Episodes of crushing despair pockmarked most of his life, costing him his first marriage and requiring medication (which, tragically, he voluntarily overdosed on) to curb. Because Rothko also dealt with almost manic periods of lush creativity, leading some contemporaries and mental health experts to postulate that he may have experienced bipolar disorder comorbid with his depression. Daniel Johnston For most of his life, this acclaimed outsider artist and singer-songwriter has grappled with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, though none of that prevents him from enjoying a sizable fanbase. After moving to Austin, he earned attention by giving demo tapes to those falling within his orbit, quickly garnering enthusiastic listeners eager for his next live performance or art show. Many of Daniel Johnston's drawings feature pop culture fixtures like Captain America as well as his own imagined creations, such as Jeremiah the Innocent — of whom a very famous mural sits in his adopted Texas home. David Foster Wallace When renowned postmodernist author David Foster Wallace took his own life in 2008, friends, family, and fans reacted with both shock and understanding. For 20 years, he received both therapy and medication for severe depression, and an improperly coordinated switch between prescriptions may have very well triggered his unfortunate passing. The experiment ended up inspiring a far darker period than Wallace had ever encountered, sadly reflecting the realities of many individuals whose medications damage their brain chemistry beyond repair. Ian Curtis Joy Division vocalist Ian Curtis, one of the most iconic frontmen of post-punk, committed suicide at age 23 and launched a maelstrom of speculation which almost rivals that surrounding Kurt Cobain. Some blame his epileptic seizures, others his regular difficulties with woman (and, according to his family, everything else) for the debilitating depression encompassing his entire life — though nobody suspected it would end so tragically. Even before Curtis' death, Joy Division defined the British post-punk sound almost singlehandedly, and musicians today still consider them a major influence. Jackson Pollock A history of substance abuse and bipolar disorder ravaged one of the premiere (and obviously controversial!) abstract expressionists; in all likelihood, the former existed as a means of coping with the latter. A brilliant painter whose splattered works even now elicit either frothing mouths or enthusiastic hosannas, both conditions instigated major gulfs between his friends, family, and lovers alike. Evidence exists suggesting that Jackson Pollock struggled immensely with the extreme reactions to his art and mounting fame, which may have very well worsened his already stressful mental state.

How your memory works

2012-01-13T03:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Johnson, I work with Onlinecolleges.net. We recently published an article that you may be interested in entitled, “How Memory Works". I thought perhaps you'd be interested in sharing this article with your readers? After having followed your blog for a while, I feel that this one article would align well with your blog's subject matter. If interested, here's the link for your convenience: (http://www.onlinecolleges.net/2012/01/09/memory-works/). Either way, I hope you continue putting out great content through your blog. It has been a sincere pleasure to read. Thanks for your time! Regards,Jasmine Hall------------------------------------------------------
Via: Online Colleges Blog

Overcoming failure and Rejection-Evolving the self

2012-01-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

Mastering Failure and Rejection (Part 1 of 3)It's not misfortune itself that defeats you.Published on June 30, 2010 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the SelfThe Problem DefinedBelow are a few quotes that define what, to me, represents the wrong attitude toward failure and rejection:"You put yourself on the line as a performer, and when people reject you, it's a personal rejection." And, "Everything is a rejection of you, not your product, or your script, or a cosmetic. It's you." (Morgan Brittany)"When there's no chance for failure, there is opportunity for success." (Arthur Tugman)"There's no way I'm going to put this kid in the movies, because of the rejection. It's so hard as an adult, so why set her up to feel that bad as a child?" (Rosanna Arquette)No question but that failure and rejection sting. And this sting can be--at least in the moment--excruciatingly painful. Yet it's really not possible to go through life without such adverse experiences, so strenuously attempting to avoid them is ultimately as foolish and self-defeating as it is futile.See All Stories InThe Art of FailingThe next best thing to success is knowing how to recover from defeat.What this three-part post will focus on is, in the present part, examining the problems not so much inherent in failure and rejection as in your counter-productive reactions to them; in part 2, exploring all the positive ways you can deal with such discouragements and letdowns--so that your immediately upsetting experience can actually pave the way for success later on; and, in the 3rd and final segment, presenting quotations from Confucius onwards to suggest the timeless wisdom of seeing disappointments and defeats as detours along the frequently circuitous road to success. . . . And, in this sense, I should add that I've long believed that the one thing more important than success is "mastering" failure. And, paradoxically, this fully coming to terms with adversity might just be the greatest success of all.But first a question. What exactly do these two deeply intertwined terms--failure and rejection--have in common? What, that is, do they both mean? While neither word really needs defining, it's still essential to emphasize that--conventionally, at least--each carries the most unfavorable connotations. And, in fact, it's curious just how frequently these two terms are uttered in the same breath--not only because there's so much overlap between them, but also because each typically brings up similarly worrisome doubts we tend to harbor about ourselves.It's not very likely that in growing up you were "conditioned" to view failure and rejection positively, as opportunities for learning, growth, and change. And without such encouraging family counsel, odds are that each of your encounters with adversity was, subjectively, experienced as shutting down opportunities, as pushing you right back to the starting line--definitely worse off than before. For now you felt worse . . . worse, that is, about yourself.The most unfortunate thing about failure and rejection is that if you're like most people, you're apt to take such incidents personally (like actress, Morgan Brittany, above). And such self-disparaging interpretations are likely to drive your mind back to whatever discouraged, defeatist ideas of self you may, however unconsciously, still be holding onto. Moreover, blaming yourself in such situations can't help but bring to the surface your most anxious concern: namely, that you may not be good enough.What commonly happens when you fail at something, or are rejected by someone, is to verbally beat yourself up. Or--whether in your head, or in person--critically attack the person or circumstance that (partly to help you feel less bad about yourself) you hold responsible for your misfortune. But either way, reacting in such knee-jerk fashion to events that didn't turn out as you'd hoped prevents you from evaluating them constructively-and in a way that would help you both to learn from them, and move beyond them.The main thing is that, initially, when you've failed at something or been rejected, your ego is likely to throb with pain. And such heightened distress may well prompt you to enlist your defenses to anaesthetize the blow. It may be that the person you wanted to pursue gives you a clear message that your interest is not reciprocated. Or that you weren't offered the job you believed you'd interviewed so well for. Or that the project you'd worked so long and hard on ended disastrously. But unless you can learn how to take such setbacks in stride, they're likely to hinder you from moving forward. Inwardly smarting from such experiences, you may decide--defensively--to do all you can to protect yourself from future indignities.The unfortunate outcome of attempting to keep your anxiety at bay and make yourself less vulnerable to life's many frustrations is that you'll wind up pretty much leaving your goals behind, as you move toward the self-protective stratagem of indefinite procrastination. Or, you may decide not to take on the challenge--whether it be a person or project--at all. And, again, what stops you in your tracks is fearing further disappointment, others' disapproval or rejection, or (if you're overly critical of your work and so afraid you may not be able to finish perfectly what you started) your anxiety about meeting your own (excessively high) expectations.The problem, of course, is that once you give up trying, you can't ever succeed. The same could be said about self-assertion. If you're to stand a fair chance of getting what you desire from life, it's crucial that you let others know about your wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings. Otherwise, how can you ever hope to be understood, empathized with, or assisted by them in your attempts at personal fulfillment? But if you're governed by fears of failure and rejection, you may well (again, defensively) adopt a passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive stance toward those around you--which, predictably, will hold you back from saying or doing what, in the end, would most likely elicit their support.Finally, the worst thing about taking failure and rejection personally--and as a result shying away from life's challenges--is how it affects your self-esteem. For, sooner or later, adopting such a pessimistic stance compels you to conclude that your negative encounters with reality connote something irredeemably negative about yourself. And denigrating yourself this way can't help but solidify a most unfavorable self-image.Here's a large variety of statements you may come to believe about yourself--or assume your life has already confirmed about you--if you regularly take failure and rejectiontoo much to heart . . . or, I should say, too much "to ego":• "I'm not worthwhile," "I'm a disappointment," "I'm incapable," I'm inadequate," "I'm incompetent," "I'm inferior," "I don't measure up," "I can't do anything right," "I'm stupid," "I'm a loser," "I'm hopeless," "I can't succeed," or-at its extreme-"I'm shameful," "I'm contemptible," or (if you really get carried away with such self-abuse) "I'm a bad person."With such seriously compromised self-regard, whatever suspicions you may have about yourself as being, essentially, a fraud might also lead you to such negative, "non-deserving" beliefs as:• "I don't deserve love," "I don't deserve respect," "I don't deserve to succeed"-or maybe even, "I don't deserve to be happy"; as well as such self-derogatory beliefs as "I deserve criticism," or "I deserve disapproval (or rejection)."And, in yet another realm of self-denigration, you may (however unconsciously) conclude:• "I can't trust myself," "I can't trust my judgment," or "I can't trust my authority."The end result--again, not related so much to your actual experiences of failure or rejection but what, self-deridingly, you've made of them--is that you're likely to decide:• "I can't afford to be vulnerable," "I can't get what I want," "I have no authority," and "I'm powerless (or helpless)."Mastering Failure and Rejection (Part 1 of 3)It's not misfortune itself that defeats you.Published on June 30, 2010 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the SelfI realize the above characterizations may possibly seem exaggerated, maybe even ludicrously so. But I did want to stress that the consequences of turning away from life's challenges--which, by definition, always involve a certain risk of failing or being rejected--can potentially carry immense personal costs. Not fully engaging with life for fear of encountering yet additional disappointments--determining, that is, to avoid "at all costs" anything that could be emotionally unsettling--ultimately can entail far greater costs than risking the possibility of defeat.Note: Part 2 will suggest how to effectively "reframe" failure and rejection so that they no longer constitute such difficult obstacles to your personal growth and success. It will also deal with building resilience and developing a deeper belief in your capabilities. Finally, Part 3 will highlight a variety of famous quotations, from Confucius to the present day, which eloquently underscore the different points made in the first two parts.Mastering Failure and Rejection (Part 2 of 3)What, exactly, is the upside of failure and rejection?Published on June 30, 2010 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the SelfIn Part 1 I discussed the various consequences of letting your fears of failure and rejection control you. This second part will suggest how you can control--or better, master--the emotions typically associated with these two negative outcomes, so you won't be deterred from taking full advantage of whatever opportunities life offers you.Before you seek to change your attitude toward failure and rejection, it's probably best simply to allow yourself to feel the full intensity of the emotions that follow in the wake of major disappointment. For before you can alter these negative feelings (whether they be embarrassment, humiliation, panic, anger, depression, or despair), you first need to get in touch with them--as the initial step in accurately linking the emotion you've experienced to the underlying beliefs requiring modification. You can't really revise your thinking about something till you're able to grasp just what your emotional reaction was to it--and what exaggerated, or otherwise irrational, thoughts engendered these emotions in the first place.See All Stories InThe Art of FailingThe next best thing to success is knowing how to recover from defeat.Find a TherapistSearch for a mental health professional near you.Find Local: Acupuncturists Chiropractors Massage Therapists Dentists and more!It's only human to view, reflexively, what happens to you as saying something about you. We are, after all, meaning-making animals. But this assumptive thinking isn't necessarily true. In fact, the personal meanings you extrapolate from outward events are mostly untrue. So if somebody refuses your love, you may instantaneously feel as though there's something about you that's not lovable. But, realistically, how could your lovability hinge on a single person's preferences? As in "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder," I once met an exceptionally good-looking man who confessed that he could only be physically attracted to a substantially overweight woman. Whereas we typically assume that men prefer women with hourglass figures, this example demonstrates that even "models" of feminine pulchritude aren't immune to rejection.Although you may never have given it much thought, in almost all instances, another person's rejection says more about them than it does you. Someone might reject your overture of friendship simply because they don't have the time to add anyone else to their social circle. Or they might even be intimidated by you because they regard you as better looking, more intelligent, capable, or accomplishedthan they are. Similarly, if you're not offered a job you applied for, it might not indicate at all that you were inferior to the other candidates but, rather, that you were seen as overqualified for the position--or too young, too old, too aggressive, not aggressive enough, etc. etc.So even if your immediate reaction to rejection is to feel powerless, crestfallen, or despondent, once you can accept the other person's rejection as probably signifying little more than their right to choose according to their own biases and tastes--as opposed to indicating something defective about you--you can begin, emotionally, to recover from it. And if, being scrupulously honest with yourself, you conclude that you really were responsible, say, for a relationship's demise--whether because you were excessively dependent, overly demanding, or because of bad, inconsiderate behavior generally--you can still turn their rejection to your ultimate benefit. For you can use it as an opportunity to determine just what in your behavior may seriously need to be worked on.Failure can also be perceived as an occasion to reflect on your role--or lack of one--in influencing a situation that turned out poorly. You may, for instance, assume you're not smart enough because you failed at a particular endeavor--unaware that only two percent of those attempting such a project before you ever succeeded. And, because of your pessimistically negative conclusion, it may never occur to you that your failure can actually propel you forward, since it's helped you to rule out what may first have needed to be ruled out, before trying other alternatives. Additionally, you should realize that even when you do something perfectly, success is rarely guaranteed. Which is precisely why it's so important not to let a failure--which, in almost every case, is best considered a setback--actively discourage you from undertaking additional efforts to achieve your goal.I frequently tell my therapy clients that the reason virtually all pencils have erasers on one end is that all of us make mistakes--and somehow pencil-makers (needing to stay in business!) seem to grasp this a lot better than sometimes we do. "Normalize" your mistakes and they'll no longer have anywhere as much control over how you see yourself. Certainly, there's no shame inherent in doing something wrong--just as the shame you may lay on yourself after experiencing failure or rejection is self-inflicted. Without your (tacit) consent, others simply don't have the power to guilt or shame you. That power resides solely within yourself. It's you alone that makes the final verdict.My main point here is that when you can hardly stop reeling after an episode of failure or rejection, you're looking at things from the perspective of a battered ego. It's not so much that you need to change: it's, frankly, your weak ego that needs to be strengthened. Otherwise, you'll continue to see external events as threatening in a way that can't but help stunt your initiative. And so it's vital to consider that the other person's unfavorable decision--or the situation that turned out contrary to your expectations--may, personally, have very little to do with you. To assume differently is something like concluding that a talk you gave must have been deadly dull because one person in the audience fell asleep while you were delivering it. But how could you ever know whether that person was up all night with a colicky baby? Or was, for that matter, narcoleptic (?!).So, in the face of rejection or failure, what exactly should you do?After looking at the situation directly--and not flinching from its immediately potent sting (but not letting the emotional pain deter you either)--you need to see it for what, objectively, it is. Which typically is nothing more than a temporary setback, or detour, delaying your forward progress. But delay isn't defeat and you don't need to (mis-) interpret it as final, or "definitive." True, it may spell the death of one particular alternative, but there are almost always other choices--even if they're not yet on the horizon. In fact, to the degree that you've ruled out the viability of one possibility, that failure or rejection can even be seen as a partial success, since it's "succeeded" in eliminating something that (for all you knew at the time) might have worked. It just didn't, that's all.Defeated hopes offer you the opportunity to recalibrate--to reload--to rethink why and how something didn't turn out as you'd anticipated. Take the popular business adage: "ready-fire-aim." Feedback is often crucial to success, so you can only aim so much if what matters most in the moment is to get feedback. Whereas those who fear failure and rejection can "aim" indefinitely in their attempts to avoid further disappointment, successful individuals--choosing to be pro-active rather than to procrastinate--are much readier to risk failure than what might be a valuable opportunity. (To temporarily change the metaphor, for them it's better to "strike while the iron is hot," even if they subject themselves to a burn, than--self-protectively--wait till all is calm and safe.) When successful individuals miss their target, well, they just re-aim--knowing that with each successive shot, they're likely to get closer to the bull's eye. Each miss is calculated not in terms of failure but progress.Consider, for example, this wonderful quote from Thomas Edison on his many, many abortive experiments that ultimately led to the invention of the light bulb: "I have not failed," he proclaimed, "I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Here is failure reframed as a lengthy, and ultimately successful, process of creative elimination. Invention isn't usually a single-step process--and neither is success.Mastering Failure and Rejection (Part 2 of 3)What, exactly, is the upside of failure and rejection?Published on June 30, 2010 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the SelfIf you think about it, life provides you with an almost endless number of do-overs. Both failure and rejection need to be seen as reminders of this--as in "practice makes perfect"--or, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Ultimately, it's how you cope with failing or getting rejected that determines whether each setback brings you ever closer to your goal. Once you can see such disappointments for what they really are--hurdles that all of us must surmount if we're to succeed--then you won't retreat simply because the outcome of your behavior remains in doubt.Edison could only have failed in his electrical quest by giving up. What he did do was endure (or "triumph over") an enormously ambitious, multiple-step process to finally bring his invention to (er-) light. Each "mis-step" provided him with additional information, so that--bit by bit--he was able to make the final correction . . . and so the light bulb.It reminds me of the line in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream: "The course of true love never did run smooth." And, in general, neither does the route toward success. Many times your right path can't be understood till you've taken a few wrong ones. Perceived in this manner, the wrong path--indirectly--is intrinsic to the right one. For the right path is commonly obstructed by detours that need to be located and traversed before the right one is even recognizable. It's wise, therefore, to consider personal mistakes as prerequisites to discovering the solution that's finally right for you. Making mistakes, then, is simply the way you pay your dues for later success.See All Stories InThe Art of FailingThe next best thing to success is knowing how to recover from defeat.Find a TherapistSearch for a mental health professional near you.Find Local: Acupuncturists Chiropractors Massage Therapists Dentists and more!Persistence is the key here. Or, more precisely, I should say that believing in yourself is the key. For it's hard to persist at anything if you're not convinced that, sooner or later--and by dint of your own efforts--you'll succeed. (And this, incidentally, is what psychologists call "self-efficacy.") Once you're able to firmly believe that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, eventual success isn't just possible: it's probable. As long as your self-assessment is reality-based, it's simply a matter of not retreating in the face of failure but instead soldiering on. And what, ultimately, enables you to sustain your efforts is a sustained belief in yourself. That, and persistence, sway the odds in your favor.If in the past you allowed some immediate defeat to prompt you, prematurely, to give up on something, what's crucial now is that you cultivate your resilience. And you do this mainly by remembering, and then visualizing (i.e., making as real in your head as possible), all your past successes--all the things you've done right over the years. Your courage to go forward after failure and rejection can then be restored, as you bring into the here-and-now the positive mindset that accompanies such recollections.To conclude, regarding every failure, every rejection, as a learning opportunity is the best way to avoid letting setbacks deter you from continuing toward your goals. Ultimately, disappointments have only as much power as you choose to give them. Once you can "befriend" your failures and rejections, they--paradoxically--can actually support your future efforts.If, however, you define failure and rejection self-defeatingly, they'll continue to control you. And they'll even doom you to further disappointments because of the resignation that comes with such a pessimistic attitude. If, on the other hand, you can see such defeats as an inevitable part of life--as something you must learn to deal with courageously and creatively--you're hardly likely to succumb to them. Future obstacles can almost always be reframed as challenges; and once you've effected this transformative mental shift, that last defeat will become your next opportunity. What felt like "the end" can now become a new beginning. And--in affirming yourself in the face of failure and rejection--you will have truly mastered them.Note: Whereas part 1 delved into the wrong way of dealing with failure and rejection, this present part has suggested far more adaptive ways of reacting to personal disappointments. Part 3--by far the shortest of these three segments--consists almost entirely of quotations. Collectively, these quotations say just about everything I've labored to articulate in the first two parts. Call them a kind of unusually eloquent SparkNotes version of the subject. I selected them not only because of their ageless wisdom, but also because they encapsulate "lessons" so vital for all of us to learn. Hopefully, reading them (and maybe even writing some of them down) will enable you to change whatever programming is, by preventing you from taking necessary risks, also keeping you from realizing your hopes and dreams.---I invite all readers to follow my psychological musings on Twitter. Mastering Failure and Rejection (Part 3 of 3)What are the most profound things ever said about failure?Published on June 30, 2010 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the SelfAgeless Wisdom on Failure and RejectionBy way of "consummating" this three-part post, this final segment will present a series of famous--and frequently eloquent--quotations on how best to understand, and respond to, failure and rejection. Call this, if you will, a kind of appendix for (or even SparkNotes review of) parts 1 and 2. Actually, toward the end of writing this extended post, I decided to check out a few web sites for well-known quotations on the subject. And by the time I'd completed my research, I realized that I'd hardly covered new ground at all--that virtually everything I had to say had already, though piecemeal, been said (and generally in small, appetite-whetting chunks that would fit nicely into Twitter). . . . So much for being original.See All Stories InThe Art of FailingThe next best thing to success is knowing how to recover from defeat.Find a TherapistSearch for a mental health professional near you.Find Local: Acupuncturists Chiropractors Massage Therapists Dentists and more!Anyhow, here are some of my favorites. If you're concerned that you may be overly reactive to failure and rejection, you might want to pick out those utterances that "speak" to you the most--and adopt them as your personal mantras:"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." (Confucius)"You can fail so very often. But you are not a failure until you give up." (Anonymous)"Failure is the path of least persistence." (Anonymous)"The most important of my discoveries have been suggested to me by my failures." (Humphrey Davy)"Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." (Denis Waitley)"A rejection [cf. failure] is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success." (Bo Bennett)"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." (Samuel Smiles)"Psychoanalysis shows the human infant as the passive recipient of love, unable to bear hostility. Development is the learning to love actively and to bear rejection." (Karl Stern)"There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself." (James Lee Burke)"I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat." (Sylvester Stallone)"You need to develop, somehow, a huge amount of faith and confidence in yourself, because there's a lot of rejection throughout an actor's life and you have to believe in yourself more than anyone else." (Stephen Collins)"Having harvested all the knowledge and wisdom we can from our mistakes and failures, we should put them behind us and go ahead." (Edith Johnson)"The man who has done his level best . . . is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure." (B. C. Forbes)"Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one's better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk, and to act." (Maxwell Maltz)"We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure." (Leo F. Buscaglia)"He who risks and fails can be forgiven. He who never risks and never fails is a failure in his whole being." (Paul Tillich)"The only real failure in life is the failure to try." (Source Unknown)"Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." (John Wooden)"Failure is success if we learn from it." (Malcolm S. Forbes)"There is no failure except in no longer trying." (Elbert Hubbard)"Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have." (Elbert Hubbard)"Remember the two benefits of failure. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work, and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach." (Roger Von Oech)"Failure is the tuition you pay for success." (Walter Brunell)"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure" (Sven Goran Eriksson)"Try and fail, but don't fail to try." (Stephen Kaggwa)And, finally,"There are no failures-just experiences and your reactions to them." (Tom Krause)

beat back year-eve blues, Times of India, (AASRA has been mentioned)

2011-12-31T03:59:00.000-08:00

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Beat-back-the-New-Year-eve-blues/articleshow/11309935.cmsBeat back the New Year-eve bluesPratibha Masand, TNN | Dec 31, 2011, 01.55AM ISTMUMBAI: Nitika Makhija, in her early 20s, has been restless every evening over the last few days. The strange feeling in the pit of her stomach makes her feel as if something will go wrong. When this spell comes, nothing-not even reading a book or watching television helps."I just have to wait for this feeling to pass. Generally, it lasts between an hour and three. Not only does it cause a sickening feeling, sometimes it leaves me feverish, it also drains me. I don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere," says Nitika, who works for a media firm.Some like Sheldon Pareira, 28, feel the urge to go out drinking every evening. "I am only a social drinker. But in the last three weeks, I've been feeling like going out for a drink, even if there's no party to attend," says Sheldon, who works in an IT firm.Nitika and Sheldon are suffering from "Year-end Blues". Many in the city have been feeling low or depressed, restless and lonely, have been feeling either a great urge to drink every day, or do not feel like eating at all. Most of these feelings are unexplained and go just as abruptly as they come. Doctors say that the party season, change in weather or fear of the upcoming year might be among reasons behind these blues."The blues are more common among the single or those who do not have plans for the New Year's Eve," psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chabbria explains. "Those who feel bad about being single or don't have anywhere to go end up feeling low or depressed. Some would rather go out to drink every day than go home each night."Johnson Thomas, director of AASRA, an NGO that works for suicide prevention, says there has been a jump in the number depressed people calling in, especially in the last three weeks. "These calls are more at night and mostly deal with relationships gone bad. It is a vacation after which most examinations are lined up. Also, with the onset of winter, evenings get darker and gloomy. There is a general increase in mood swings during this time of the year," he says.Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty feels that year-end is the time when people start reviewing what they have achieved during the year."Every person has something to be happy or sad about in a year. During this period, some harp on the bad things that have happened and feel low. Also, some get jitters thinking of what might happen in the new year, thus feeling anxious," he says, adding that peer pressure to have "happening" New Year plans might also be a reason for those who cannot or do not want to celebrate.The key, say doctors, is to accept what has happened and be positive about the future. "Feeling good is ones right," says Dr Shetty. "It is only a change of date, not a big deal. Spending New Year with family is as good as celebrating it in a party," Dr Chabbria adds.

Kids are stressed out in Mumbai India- some survey stats to prove the point. A times of India initiative

2011-12-24T00:57:00.000-08:00

Pointers:The weight of the schoolbag is killing: primary kids are made to carry an average of 9 kg as against the recommended weight of less than 5 kg.This affects the head, neck, trunk and lower limb angles, changing the overall posture of the child.62% kids have a personal computer at home79% are mobile phone users.Most parents are unhappy with their levels of involvement in terms of time spent with their children. One study says that only 50% of parents are happy with their involvement in their kids lives.Children aged 6-17 watch 35 hrs of TV a week. On an average . 82% of teenagers spend 14-16 hrs playing video games. And 7% from this are pathological gamers spending over 20 hrs a week.63% of students spend at least an hour online everyday. 40% of mumbai's children have been exposed to online adult content- more than in any other city.They are also victims of cyber bullying. (33% have been bullied at least once)40% of children visit malls, supermarkets, at least once a month.95% of Mumbai's children eat pre-dinner snacks like burgrs, pizzas, french fries, samosas, vada pav and noodles.78% of parents have never discussed sex openly with their kidspocket money given ranges from Rs.3500 to Rs. 12000 per month and is spent on chlothing, physical appearance, gadgets and lifestyle products.60% of of mumbai's kids think it's important to wear the latest fashion.mumbai has a green ratio of only 0.03 acre of open space for every 1000 kids against an ideal of 4 acres per 1000 kids.16% of total educational expenditure is spent onprivate tuitions, coaching.Nearly 4% of children have asthma, while over 6% complain of breathing problems.30% of children in private schools are overweight/obese, the second highest number in the country.About 88% boys and 85% girls don't walk the recommended 15000 and 12000 steps a day respectively.28% of students sleep less than the recommended 8 hrs everyday.17% of children suffer some kind of stress.studies show that children bear the brunt of an outbreak of any disease in the city.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Children are not taught to take no for an answer. Children with poor coping skills are a reflection of poor parenting.Kids are left with little unstructured time.Psychiatrists say that movies and video games have replaced outdoor play that boosted children's anti-stress mechanisms. Kids these days live in a bully environment at home.their own thinking and creativity are hampered by unrealistic expectations.Children do not anymore understand that when they commit mistakes they are accumulating experience for the future. Any failure becomes dificult to digest and they easily get demotivated. -Dr. Sanjay Kumavat, Psychiatrist.Parents can reach out to their little ones-Pick up early signs of anger in their childrenWatch out for impulsivity in children between 4-5 years. this may lead to violece at a later stage in life.monitor conent they watch on TV,video and internet.Improve play and sleep time of childrenPut your child through a life skills programHelp the child share his or her feelings. Be a friend If your child appears violent then gently reinforce concepts of good and bad.If kids have a attention deficit disorder or emotional problems seek help.

Domestic violence in India, Causes,consequences and remedies

2011-12-19T04:42:00.000-08:00

Domestic Violence in India: Causes, Consequences and RemediesPosted at YouthKiAwaaz on February 7, 2010 in Editor's Picks, Society · 42 CommentsAnkur Kumar:Introduction“Bride tortured to death for dowry”, “School going kid succumbs to his injuries after beaten by father”, “A seventy year old man killed over property dispute”, “Harassment of men in Chandigarh…”All these and what not, turn to any newspaper at random and you would find the reports of such kind of violence all over the country. These are all what we come to know through different forms of media. There are more such cases which go unreported every day. In fact, include the cases which we our self indulge in, or the ones which we witness in the neighbourhood but are hesitant in taking even a single step to reduce their occurrences.In our society, violence is bursting. It is present almost everywhere and nowhere is this eruption more intense than right behind the doors of our homes. Behind closed doors of homes all across our country, people are being tortured, beaten and killed. It is happening in rural areas, towns, cities and in metropolitans as well. It is crossing all social classes, genders, racial lines and age groups. It is becoming a legacy being passed on from one generation to another.The term used to describe this exploding problem of violence within our homes is Domestic Violence. This violence is towards someone who we are in a relationship with, be it a wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father, grandparent or any other family member. It can be a male’s or a female’s atrocities towards another male or a female. Anyone can be a victim and a victimizer. This violence has a tendency to explode in various forms such as physical, sexual or emotional.Since times immemorial, domestic violence has been an intrinsic part of the society we are living in. The contributing factors could be the desire to gain control over another family member, the desire to exploit someone for personal benefits, the flare to be in a commanding position all the time showcasing one’s supremacy so on and so forth. On various occasions, psychological problems and social influence also add to the vehemence. The present essay deals with the various forms of domestic violence prevalent in India. Their causes of occurrence in households have been analyzed categorically. The variation in the intensity of the forms with change in the geographical location and culture has also been addressed. The aftereffects of different kinds of domestic violence and the possible remedies have been highlighted. Finally, a conclusion has been drawn after the complete analysis of the topic with the juxtaposition of facts and figures at hand.Different Forms of Domestic Violence in India and their CausesDomestic Violence Against WomenThis form of domestic violence is most common of all. One of the reasons for it being so prevalent is the orthodox and idiotic mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males. Though women today have proved themselves in almost every field of life affirming that they are no less than men, the reports of violence against them are much larger in number than against men. The possible reasons are many and are diversified over the length and breadth of the country. According to United Nation Population Fund Report, around two-third of married Indian women are victims of domestic violence and as many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or forced sex. In India, more than 55 percent of the women suffer from domestic violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P., M.P. and other northern states.The most common causes for women stalking and battering include dissatisfaction with the dowry and exploiting women for more of it, arguing with the partner, refusing to have sex with him, neglecting children, going out of home without telling the partner, not cooking properly or on time, indulging in extra marital affairs, not looking after in-laws etc. In some cases infertility in females also leads to their assault by the family members. The greed for dowry, desire for a male child and alcoholism of the spouse are major factors of domestic violence against women in rural areas. There have been gruesome reports of young bride being burnt alive or subjected to continuous harassment for not bringing home the amount of demanded dowry. Women in India also admit to hitting or beating because of their suspicion about the husband’s sexual involvement with other women. The Tandoor Murder Case of Naina Sahni in New Delhi in the year 1995 is one such dreadful incident of a woman being killed and then burnt in a Tandoor by his husband. This incidence was an outcome of suspicion of extra marital affairs of Naina Sahni which led to marital discord and domestic violence against her.In urban areas there are many more factors which lead to differences in the beginning and later take the shape of domestic violence. These include – more income of a working woman than her partner, her absence in the house till late night, abusing and neglecting in-laws, being more forward socially etc. Working women are quite often subjected to assaults and coercion sex by employees of the organization. At times, it could be voluntary for a better pay and designation in the office.Violence against young widows has also been on a rise in India. Most often they are cursed for their husband’s death and are deprived of proper food and clothing. They are not allowed or encouraged for remarriage in most of the homes, especially in rural areas. There have been cases of molestation and rape attempts of women by other family members in nuclear families or someone in the neighbourhood. At times, women are even sexually coerced by their partner themselves against their will. They are brutally beaten and tortured for not conceiving a male child. Incidents like, ripping off a woman’s womb for killing the female foetus when she disagrees for abortion have also come to light especially in rural areas. Female foeticide and female infanticide continue to be a rising concern.Also as expressed by Rebecca J. Burns in the following lines, “When I am asked why a woman doesn’t leave abuser I say: Women stay because the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying. They will leave when the fear of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.” A common Indian house wife has a tendency to bear the harassment she is subjected to by her husband and the family. One reason could be to prevent the children from undergoing the hardships if she separates from the spouse. Also the traditional and orthodox mindset makes them bear the sufferings without any protest.Other forms of physical abuse against women include slapping, punching, grabbing, burdening them with drudgery, public humiliation and the neglect of their health problems. Some of the other forms of psychological torment against them could be curtailment of their rights to self-expression and curbing the freedom to associate with the natal family and friends.Domestic Violence Against MenThere is no question that domestic violence directed against women is a serious and bigger problem, but domestic violence against men is also increasing gradually in India. The supremacy of men in the society makes one believe that they are not vulnerable to domestic violence. Battering of men by their spouse and family members has become a concerned issue and is another form of domestic violence under purview of judiciary. In India, compared to violence against women, violence against men is less frequent but it has already taken a deadly shape in many of the western countries by now.Males have reported incidences of assault against them like pushing, shoving, slapping, grabbing, hitting which are intended to harm them and also take their lives on many occasions. Recently, hundreds of husbands gathered in Chandigarh and Shimla to voice their opinion for men’s rights and protection against domestic violence subjected to them by their wives and other family members. It reflects the need for a special law for curbing domestic violence against men in present times.If we contemplate over the reasons behind this form of domestic violence we would find some of the possible causes such as not abiding by the instructions of the wives’, inadequate earning of men, infidelity towards wives, not helping the partner in household activities, not taking a proper care of children, abusing the spouse’s family, infertility of men, spying the activities of partner, doubting the partner all the time and not trusting her, revolt by the wife when asked to look after in-laws etc. On many occasions the spat between men and women becomes public thereby influencing the society around especially in the villages. In urban areas such forms of violence may go unreported because of greater privacy. Also the families find their reputation at stake in urban areas.Domestic Violence Against Children/TeensChildren and teenagers in our society are not spared from the evil of domestic violence. In fact, this form of violence is second in terms of number of reported cases after the ‘violence against women’. There is a lot of variation in the form of its occurrence in urban and rural areas and in upper/middle class and lower class families in India. In urban regions, it is more private and concealed within the four walls of homes. The possible reasons could be disobeying parental advises and orders, poor performance in academics or not being at par with other children in neighbourhood, debating with parents and other family members etc. In addition to this, factors like not being socially intelligent or as active as the parents expect them to be, abusing the parents or speaking ill about other family members, not returning home on time are some other factors.In rural areas the reasons could be harassment for child labour, physical abuse or harm for not following family traditions, forcing them to stay at home and not allowing them to go to school etc. Domestic violence against girls is in fact more severe at homes. As the common mob mentality of India prefers to have at least one male child after marriage, the girls in most of the occasions are cursed and assaulted for having taken birth in the home. This kind abuse is prevalent both in cities and villages but is more common in latter case. Then there are cases of paedophilia causing sexual harassment of children in homes by family member themselves. In fact the number of rape cases of pre-matured girls has been rising since last few years. A survey of teens and college students found that rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults in girls. Apart from sexual abuse and rape, pushing, slapping, punching, stalking and emotional abuse are other forms of domestic violence against children.Adding to the above mentioned causes, there are also instances of abuse against children who are physically and/or mentally challenged. Instead of providing them proper health care and treating them politely, these children are beaten and harassed for not cooperating and attending to what family members ask them to do. They are even emotionally abused by cursing them having been in such retarded or handicapped state. In fact in poor families, there have been reports of selling body organs of the retarded children for getting money in return. It reflects the height of cruelness and violence against innocent children.Domestic Violence Against OldsThis form of domestic violence refers to the violence which old people at home are subjected to by their children and other family members. This category of domestic violence largely goes under-reported in India. It is because of the dependency of olds on their children and having a fear of not being looked after or even ousted if the violence is revealed in public. The main causes of violence against aged people are – children being hesitant in bearing the expenses of the old parents, emotionally victimising the olds and beating them to death to get rid of them. On various occasions, they are beaten for doing something against the desire of family members. One of the very common reasons includes torture for property grabbing.A perturbing trend is the vulnerability of ageing women to domestic violence in various forms. Given existing structures of gender discrimination, old women are prone to a greater risk than men of becoming victims of material exploitation, financial deprivation, property grabbing, abandonment, verbal humiliation, emotional and psychological torment. When they fall seriously ill, it is more likely that it is the elderly women in the family who will be denied proper health care. There is also a widespread understanding that the neglect, deprivation and marginalisation of older women are the normal consequences of ageing. In fact the plight of young widows in homes as discussed above now becomes more serious as a result of the ageing of those women. They are cut off from the society they are living in, ignored, abused, cursed, and considered as bad omens. The atrocities of sons, daughter-in-laws, daughters and husbands could be another cause of domestic violence specifically against older women. They are restrained from cooking, housekeeping, or participating in activities outside the home.While it is difficult to accurately measure the extent of the problem on a national scale, given the fact that most families deny that such abuse but we do know that the number of old people in our midst is growing. A current estimate puts the 60-plus population at around 90 million in India and is projected to have a population of 142 million older people by 2020. Given this demographic reality an important concern is the kind of action the country can take at the individual and societal level to alleviate abuse and neglect of elderly class.Other Forms of Domestic Violence in IndiaThere are some more possible forms of domestic violence prevalent in India other than the ones listed above. On a serious note, family wars or clan wars are deadly forms of domestic violence across the country. The reason of such type of violence include dispute over property, physically or emotionally abusing any member of other family or clan, any religious cause or conflict arising during a religious ceremony, jealousy because of progress and financial status of other family, inter-caste marriage etc. This form of violence is common in many states like Haryana, Punjab, Andhra Pradesh etc.One of the other forms of domestic violence is ill-treatment of servants and maids in households. In many of the affluent homes, servants are deprived of their salary and basic necessities. They are harassed and beaten and to work without even taking adequate rest. Similarly maids are molested by males in the family. Atrocities against small children working as servants are common and increasing.To some extent media is also responsible for contributing to all the above forms of violence. The exaggerated news coverage of reports of domestic violence, the daily soaps screening the torture of a daughter-in-law at the hands of family members, the films portraying an element of violence against people of all age groups etc. are some of the menaces which media is causing. It is influencing the mindset of the viewers strongly. The problem arises when instead of taking a lesson from those news clippings, films, and television shows, people start enacting the same in their homes. Comparatively, the visual media is far more influencing than the print and electronic media in these cases. Illiteracy and mob mentality of majority of Indians misguides them in all these cases.Consequences of Domestic ViolenceThere are varied consequences of domestic violence depending on the victim, the age group, the intensity of the violence and frequency of the torment they are subjected to. Living under a constant fear, threat and humiliation are some of the feelings developed in the minds of the victims as a consequence of an atrocious violence. The consequences of the domestic violence in detail can be broadly categorised under – the Effect on the victim himself/herself and the family , Effect on the society and the Effect on nation’s growth and productivity. The ‘Effect on the victim’ has been further subcategorized for women, men, children and olds.Effect on the victim and the familyConsequences of Violence Against WomenBattered women have tendency to remain quiet, agonised and emotionally disturbed after the occurrence of the torment. A psychological set back and trauma because of domestic violence affects women’s productivity in all forms of life. The suicide case of such victimised women is also a deadly consequence and the number of such cases is increasing.A working Indian woman may drop out from work place because of the ill-treatment at home or office, she may lose her inefficiency in work. Her health may deteriorate if she is not well physically and mentally. Some women leave their home immediately after first few atrocious attacks and try to become self-dependent. Their survival becomes difficult and painful when they have to work hard for earning two meals a day. Many such women come under rescue of women welfare organizations like Women Welfare Association of India (WWAI), Affus Woman Welfare Association (AWWA) and Woman’s Emancipation and Development Trust (WEDT). Some of them who leave their homes are forcefully involved in women trafficking and pornography. This results in acquiring a higher risk of becoming a drug addict and suffering from HIV/AIDS. Some of course do it by their choice.One of the severe effects of domestic violence against women is its effect on her children. It is nature’s phenomenon that a child generally has a greater attachment towards the mother for she is the one who gives birth. As long as the violence subjected to the mother is hidden from the child, he/she may behave normally at home. The day when mother’s grief and suffering is revealed, a child may become upset about the happening deeply. Children may not even comprehend the severity of the problem. They may turn silent, reserved and express solace to the mother. When the violence against women is openly done in front of them since their childhood, it may have a deeper and gruesome impact in their mindset. They get used to such happenings at home, and have a tendency to reciprocate the same in their lives. It’s common in especially in rural homes in India which are victimised by the evil of domestic violence.In cases of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), violence against women leads them to maintain a distance from their partner. Their sexual life is affected adversely. Many of them file for divorce and seek separation which again affects the life of children. Some continue to be exploited in lack of proper awareness of human rights and laws of the constitution.Consequences of Violence Against MenThe consequences against violence against men in India, is largely emotional and psychological in nature. The physical harassment resulting from domestic violence, also affects their lives and productivity but it is still more inclined towards the emotional problems which men face in India. It is largely because many such cases go unreported, as compared to cases of physical assault of women. An emotionally harassed and depressed man may lose interest in the occupation he is associated with. If he is the only bread-earning person in the family, the family may find it difficult to survive. There has been a spate of farmers’ suicide in recent years in Karnataka. Several farmers have committed suicide not only because of indebtedness but also because of discord in family and depression resulting out of it. According to statistics of Save India Family Foundation (an NGO), around 1.2 lac harassed husbands have committed suicide in the country in the last four years.Consequences of Violence Against Children/Teens The consequences in case of children are far more drastic and its effect is long lived. Children are sensitive to issues related to violence of any kind as they are not mature enough to comprehend them. In their growing years they try to imitate things which they see happening around them. In the process of following their parent’s advice or instructions they become firm in their opinion and approach towards life. Now if the approach of parents itself is negative, children are bound to get influenced by it. They may adopt the negative traits of the ill they see around them or develop a hostile approach in life because of the ill-treatment they are subjected to. If a child is beaten badly for under performing in school, he may do the same to his children, thinking it might be the only possible way of making a person to work hard.Whenever a child is dropped out of school because of poor financial condition or when he is engaged in some form of child labour, there is a sudden leap which the child tries to take from his childhood to the manhood. In this process he misses out the values and morals a person should inculcate in him as a good human being. He fails to develop a vision to see things from an unbiased point of view. All these factors make a child insensitive towards the society and the societal needs. Every instance of child abuse causes a callous indifference to suffering.However in the process of comprehending the wrong being done to them, many children are traumatised and psychologically disturbed. They find it unsustainable and may lose out their mental soundness. Children who are victimised by physical violence may become handicapped as well. In some cases children prefer to run away from home and try to become self dependent. Some commit suicide. Some indulge in malpractices because of improper education and bad company they become a part of after leaving the home. Some even reciprocate the violence they are subjected to by harming the family members.Girls also develop a feeling of insecurity in their homes when they are sexually exploited. They lose their self-confidence and desire for living. A girl child from violent home can withdraw from society and become completely depressed. Children from violent homes become disobedient and violent – and start using aggression to solve their problems. Adolescents may succumb to drugs and alcohol when treated harshly. Some helpless and abandoned children are picked up gangs who sell their organs for making huge amount of money. In most of the cities, the group of beggars at traffic lights or railway platforms are the abandoned children who are physically deformed forcefully for begging. The children who escape being a part of this vicious circle are looked after by children welfare organizations like, Indian Child Welfare Association (ICWA), Child Relief and You (CRY) and ChildLine etc.Consequences of Violence Against OldsThe elderly abuse is one of the most unfortunate happening for the elderly class in their lives. They would rather like to be more at ease and calm in this phase of their life than being prone to such kind of shameful treatment by the family or society. Ironically elderly class itself also indulges in harming each other. Many of the elderly men continue to beat and harass their wives throughout their lives.Some of the olds are ousted from home by their children, some are beaten until death and some are exploited socially. A sense of insecurity dodges them all the time. They are isolated and cut off from society in some cases where son and daughter-in-law do not let them interact and move around freely in the society. The old people are not looked after properly and their health problems are neglected. Due to the abuse and mental trauma they suffer, some of them leave home and stay in old age homes like HelpAge India, Senior Citizen Home Complex Welfare Society (SCHCWS) and many others.Effect of Domestic Violence on the societyAll the different forms of violence discussed in this essay adversely affect the society. Violence against women may keep them locked in homes succumbing to the torture they face. If they come out in open and reveal the wrong done to them for help and rescue, it influences the society both positively and negatively. At one hand where it acts as an inspiration and ray of hope for other suffering women, on the other hand it also spoils the atmosphere of the society. When something of this kind happens in the society, few families may witness the evil of domestic violence knocking their door steps. Some families try to imitate what others indulge in irrespective of it being good or bad for the family.Effect on the productivityAs mentioned earlier, domestic violence affects the productivity level of the victim negatively. Men and women lose interest in household activities. If they are employed they fail to work with full capabilities in workplace. Children are found to concentrate less on studies. They drop out of school and do not get the education which otherwise they might have got if they were not tormented and thus the country loses a productive asset. Therefore, the nation’s productivity altogether gets affected because of domestic violence in homes. When old people are tortured and physically abused, they separate themselves from family members and their daily activities are restricted to themselves. The guardianship they can provide out of their experience, the moral values which they can instil in the grandchildren are all not done as they are unwanted in their own homes. People need to spend their part of income for medication when they are met with worse forms of domestic violence which again leads to loss in productive use of a family’s income. The cumulative effect of the domestic violence at all levels and across all regions is the country’s hindered development and slow economic growth.Remedies for Domestic ViolenceWhat exactly do we want?A very important question in wake of domestic violence remedies is that what exactly we are looking for in the process of minimising their occurrences. Is it so that we want to gather more information about such cases for just expressing our concern over this issue with more accuracy, having facts and figures at hand? Or instead of just raising our voices, we want to clean up the mess with shear force and determination?Fighting the ‘Domestic Violence’ EvilA recent study has concluded that violence against women is the fastest-growing crime in India. According to a latest report prepared by India’s National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), a crime has been recorded against women in every three minutes in India. Every 60 minutes, two women are raped in this country. Every six hours, a young married woman is found beaten to death, burnt or driven to suicide.The response to the phenomenon of domestic violence is a typical combination of effort between law enforcement agencies, social service agencies, the courts and corrections/probation agencies. The role of all these has progressed over last few decades, and brought their activities in public view. Domestic violence is now being viewed as a public health problem of epidemic proportion all over the world – and many public, private and governmental agencies are seen making huge efforts to control it in India. There are several organizations all over the world – government and non government – actively working to fight the problems generated by domestic violence to the human community.Need for Stringent LawsIn 1983, domestic violence was recognised as a specific criminal offence by the introduction of section 498-A into the Indian Penal Code. This section deals with cruelty by a husband or his family towards a married woman. The main legislative measures at the national level for the children who become a victim of child labor include The Child Labor Prohibition and Regulation Act -1986 and The Factories Act -1948. The first act was categorical in prohibiting the employment of children below fourteen years of age, and identified 57 processes and 13 occupations which were considered dangerous to the health and lives of children. The factories act again prohibits the employment of children less than fourteen years of age.The Government of India passed a Domestic Violence Bill, 2001, “To protect the rights of women who are victims of violence of any kind occurring within the family and to provide for matters connected therewith or incidental thereto”*An act called Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 [ DVA, 2005 ] also has been passed”. This Act ensures the reporting of cases of domestic violence against women to a ‘Protection Officer’ who then prepares a Domestic Incident Report to the Magistrate “and forward copies thereof to the police officer in charge of the police station within the local limits of jurisdiction…”**Unfortunately, at present there is no single law in the Indian Constitution which can strictly dealwith all the different forms of ‘Domestic Violence’ as discussed in this essay. There is an urgent need for such a law in the country. In fact, there has also been misuse of section 498-A and DVA, 2005 because of restricted definition of cruelty subjected to married women.Role of Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)The role of non-governmental organizations in controlling the domestic violence and curbing its worse consequences is crucial. Sakshi – a violence intervention agency for women and children in Delhi works on cases of sexual assault, sexual harassment, child sexual abuse and domestic abuse and focuses on equality education for judges and implementation of the 1997 Supreme Court’s sexual harassment guidelines. Women’s Rights Initiative – another organization in the same city runs a legal aid cell for cases of domestic abuse and works in collaboration with law enforcers in the area of domestic violence.Your browser may not support display of this image. In Mumbai, bodies like Majlis and Swaadhar are doing meaningful works in this field. Sneha in Chennai and Vimochana in Bangalore are working on many women’s issues arising from domestic abuse. They are also doing active work in issues related to labour. Services ranging from counselling, education and outreach, giving provisions, and mobilizing them for gaining self-confidence are provided to them. Anweshi is a women’s counselling centre in Kozhikode providing meditation, resource and counselling for battered women. All the above bodies have their own registered offices, contact numbers and websites for those who want to seek help. There are at present only few NGOs for welfare of men like Social Welfare Association for Men (SWAM) in Chennai. Few more such organizations need to be opened for the help of abused men.These NGOs continue to spread awareness amongst people regarding the legal rights they have in hand for fighting against the atrocities they are subjected to. They are encouraging more and more people to report any case of domestic violence so that proper action may be taken against the culprits.Police and Health CarePolice plays a major role in tackling the domestic violence cases. They need to be sensitized to treat domestic violence cases as seriously as any other crime. Special training to handle domestic violence cases should be imparted to police force. They should be provided with information regarding support network of judiciary, government agencies/departments. Gender training should be made mandatory in the trainings of the police officers. There should be a separate wing of police dealing with women’s issues, attached to all police stations and should be excluded from any other duty.Authorities should take steps to recognize Domestic Violence as a public health issue. A crisis support cell needs to be established in all major Government and Private Hospitals with a trained medical social worker for provide appropriate services. Training programmes must be organized for health professionals in order to develop their skills to provide basic support for abused people. Documentation on the prevalence and the health consequences of domestic violence should be undertaken by the concerned government departments, health care institutions, NGOs and counselling centres. A nodal agency should also be set up for the annual consolidation of the documented work and publish the same for wider publicity among the masses for increasing awareness.Conclusion Having looked at a sensitive topic of “Domestic Violence in India”, we can sense the importance of discussion of such a topic. The varying causes which can spark the violence within the four walls of homes need to be analysed carefully and a wise study of the factors causing the violence may prevent a family to suffer from the menace of domestic violence. The domestic violence may have a far wider and deeper impact in real life than what has been covered in this essay. What is required is to see closely the association of the factors provoking a particular form of domestic violence. If these factors can be controlled then more than one form of violence can be prevented from harming an individual or our society and India would be a much better place to live in.References1) Panda, P. and Agarwal, B. 2005. Marital Violence, Human Development and Women’s Property Status in India. World Development. 23(5): 823-850.2) Panda, P. 2004. Domestic Violence Against Women in Kerala. Kerala Research Programme on Local Level Development Centre for Development Studies. 6: 1-44.3) Koenig, A. M., et al. 2006. Individual and Contextual Determinants of Domestic Violence in North India. American Journal of Public Health. 96(1): 132-138.4) Martin L. S. et al. 1999. Domestic Violence in Northern India. American Journal of Epidemiology. 150(4): 417-426.5) UNICEF. 2000. Domestic Violence Against Women And Girls. UNICEF Innocenti Digest. 6: 1-29.6) Centre for Women’s Studies & Development the Research Institute. 2005. A Situational Analysis of Domestic Violence Against Women In Kerala: 1-31.7)Kishwar, M. 2005. Laws Against Domestic Violence. Retrieved from http://www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue120/domestic.htm on 25/08/2009. 11:15:13 pm : 1 -6.8) Joshi, M. M. 2001. The Protection From Domestic Violence Bill. Government Bill. Bill No. 133 of 20019) Domestic Violence Statistics. Retrieved from http://www.domesticviolence.in/category/domestic-violence-statistics on 22/08/2009. 10:00 am.The writer is a Goa based Correspondent of Youth Ki Awaaz and also a student at BITS, Pilani – Goa Campus.Previous Post Shri Ram Debating Fest partners Youth Ki Awaaz Next Post Child Labour: We Keep Talking, But Never ActShare this article Digg it Add to Delicious Stumble itPublishing policy37 total comments on this postSubmit yours Reply Ashish Kumar February 8, 2010 wooooaaaahhhhhhhh !!!! what a write up…..too much of thinking and elaboration….. I think it deals with each and every possible reason for sparking domestic violence in a home…Consequences discussed are also elaborate and reflect deep understanding of the author abt this social evil prevalent in our society…..Thumbs up :-) Reply Bell Bajao March 8, 2010 This is great information. Our goal has been to ensure that people become aware of domestic violence. Although the situation doesn’t seem to improve at all. There have been campaigns like Flat No. 303 ( http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=225117001899&ref=ts ).. where group owners found out that many think that domestic violence doesn’t exist and later when admins educated … many accepted that domestic violence is in front of their eyes… its just that they couldn’t see it! Reply atul phatak April 27, 2010 Resp Sir, I’m as well a victim of domestic violence residing in nasik (maharashtra) & desperately in need of legal help for the same. Kindly help me by giving concerned organisation add/email add/contact nos as soon as possible, so that I’m able to fend myself from the concerned further atrocity by my wife against me. Regards, Atul.Phatak Reply YouthKiAwaaz April 28, 2010 @Atul: Dear Atul, the details have been emailed to you. Please act now and seek their help. Reply Pratima August 25, 2010 Dear sir, I ama victim of domestic mental torture.Pleaseeee… help me by giving address of some organisation which can help me get out of this situation .I am in Mumbai till 17th Then at Baroda late

Aasra in The daily Pioneer, Saturday, 17/12/2011

2011-12-19T02:06:00.000-08:00

http://www.dailypioneer.com/sunday-edition/agenda/cover-story/28463-love-break-up-a-death.htmlLOVE BREAK-UP & DEATH Saturday, 17 December 2011 17:19 pioneer User Rating: / 0PoorBest Be it a break-up gone public on Facebook or a mother not allowing her child to access the net in a cyber cafe, or even when a parent raises his voice on his child, reasons to end a life have become very casual and flippant. With more than four persons committing suicide a day over not so serious issues, this has become a massive problem to handle. Neha Verma brings you a reportWorst person ever, I hate you. Revenge is best when serve cold!” — These were the lines of the suicide note found on Malini Murmu’s laptop. She had hung herself to death in her hostel room. On September 19, 2011, the 22-year-old MBA student Murmu, a native of Jamshedpur in Jharkhand, committed suicide by hanging herself in room number 421, L-block of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore. Reason: She was dumped by her boyfriend on Facebook. She left a suicide note saying that she was killing herself over the public announcement that her boyfriend had made about the break-up on a social networking site.“Murmu had been depressed for quite a while and had not been taking her classes seriously. When her classmates noticed her absence on September 19, they went to her room. The security guard was called to open the door. It was only then that they found her hanging from the ceiling fan,” Mohan Kumar, investigating officer at the Mico Layout police station in Bangalore, tells you about the shocking incident.Just a day before this incident, Murmu had gone to Delhi to meet her boyfriend 24-year-old Abhishek Dhan, an IIT-Roorkee pass out who is working in Delhi with HP Pvt Ltd. The couple had an argument, which resulted in the break-up. Later, Dhan posted on his Facebook page: Feeling super cool today. Dumped my new ex-girlfriend. Happy independence day. After seeing the post, Murmu lost her patience and decided to commit this act.The incident has left the family cursing their fate. “My wife and I spoke to Malini at between 2 pm the same afternoon but we couldn’t make out that she was depressed. I was more like a friend to her than a father, but it came to me as a shock that she was in a relationship. She never shared anything about this relationship,” says 50-year-old Bishwanath Murmu, Malini’s father.The family lodged a complaint and a case of abetment to suicide was filed against against Dhan. According to the father, his daughter was outspoken and courageous, not the kind who would take such an extreme step. “My daughter was outspoken and confident in her demeanour. She was very active on Facebook. According to what has been told to us, it was Dhan’s derogatory remarks that forced her to take this step. She was forced to commit suicide following the mental torture that came with this simple update,” adds Bishwanath.Her professors held a good impression about Malini who was regarded as a bright student. “Before getting into IIM-B, Malini did her training with Infosys and left the job to take up further studies. She had completed her engineering from KIIT, Bhubaneswar in electronics and telecommunications,” Bishwanath said on phone from Jamshedpur.With over a million people hooked on to social networking sites, privacy has long gone out of the window. It is one of the main reasons for some of the noticeable mental problems that we witness in youngsters today. “It is true that with the advent of technology, we are becoming more and more dependent on such sites. If a fight happens between a couple on the road side, a crowd of 10 odd people might gather, but they disperse as soon as the matter is over. However, if there is a verbal duel happening in the public domain on FB, 1000 friends see the post and it remains there till someone removes it. The update also has a lingering impact as friends post comments on it. We have analysed Malini Murmu’s case and feel that this was the cause which forced her to take this extreme step,” explains Dr Sandeep Vohra, a reputed clinical psychiatrist with Apollo Hospital, New Delhi.Off late, incidents of youth committing suicides for petty issues have grown manifold. Initially the reasons for committing suicide used to be the fear of failing an examination and other work-related problems. But now youngsters want to end their life at the pettiest of reasons that they can think of. Psychologists opine that this is because the younger generation is intelligent, but not mature. The fact that statistics of such suicides jumped by 26 per cent in the last four years bears credence.“The increase in suicide cases is a reason to worry. In the last few years, people have become impatient and their tolerance level has also gone down immensely. They are so stressed that they always jump to the conclusion of committing suicide even when the problem is not very big. More often than not, it is the society that is to blame. Working parents barely have enough quality time to spend with their children. The communication patterns have changed drastically, which could be a reason why young people don’t think twice before taking an extreme step,” Dr Vohra says.While most people have ended their lives because of problems in relationships, there are many others who committed suicide because of no reason at all.Take for instance, the incident on November 20, 2011, where 14-year-old Saumya Kumar, a class X student of LPS Vijayant Khand branch in Gomtinagar, Lucknow ended her life after she was denied permission by her mother to go to a cyber cafe. According to investigating officers, Saumya sought her mother’s permission to visit a cyber cafe. When her mother refused, Saumya ended her life by hanging herself from a ceiling fan later that evening.The family is completely shaken up by this sudden incident and they refused to comment on the case. “We are deeply grieved by this act and do not wish to speak with the media,” Saumya’s close relative tells you.While students have ended their life due to the most flippant of reasons, it is the parents and teachers these days who live in a perpetual state of fear that their behaviour might become a reason for their children to commit suicide. “We can’t be too harsh with our own children because they have become so rebellious that they tend to commit suicide for the smallest of things,” says Professor Neera Bhalla Sarin, a reputed sociologist in JNU.In another freak incident, on December 12, 2011, Akansha Singh alias Juhi, daughter of Rakesh Singh and a native of Azamgarh district committed suicide by hanging herself in the police quarters in Lucknow. The 18-year-old was pursuing her graduation and staying with her constable aunt when things started to go wrong. On November 11, her mother, Seema allegedly scolded Akansha for not paying attention to studies and that apparently drove her to commit suicide.While the family is still trying to cope with Akansha’s death, the police is busy investigating the real reason for the suicide.Why are more and more youngsters getting inclined to committing suicide? “The problem lies in the fact that children these days lack patience. They do not want to hear a ‘no’ for anything and do not want to be treated as children either. We can not determine the exact reason for this trend. It could either be because of the influence of cinema or simply peer pressure, but these children do not want their freedom to be curbed,” adds Dr Vohra. Fifteen-year-old Satish Reddy, resident of Nellore district in Andhra Pradesh, ran away from his home on August 2, 2011 after being treated harshly by his parents. His body was recovered from the Hussain Sagar Lake on August 9, 20011.According to a police report, Satish, a student of Class X, was negligent in studies and that pushed his worried parents into scolding him. As a consequence, the boy left his home and arrived at Hyderabad and then jumped into the Hussain Sagar Lake.Another 19-year-old girl Deepa died after drinking a mosquito repellent at her house in Nerkundram town in Tamil Nadu. She was scolded by her mother for watching too much TV. She was an undergraduate student of the Annamalai University. After having an altercation with her mother, Deepa walked up to a mosquito repellent plugged near the TV seat and emptied its contents into herself.“There has been an increase in number of such freak cases of suicide. We get 25-30 calls daily on all our helpline numbers. Surprisingly, the age group that calls up the most is between the 15-45 years. From school students to college passouts to even youngsters, everyone needs counseling to come out of depression and suicidal thoughts. We are a crisis intervention service exclusively aimed at suicide prevention. We provide them with non-judgmental listening therapy focussed on draining their negative feelings and emotions. This alleviates their pain and helps them think of other options besides suicide,” says Johnson Thomas, director AASRA NGO, a suicide intervention and prevention organisation.“What is more shocking is that most of the cases that we get are of jilted lovers. Or of misled school children,” Professor Sarin tells you.Surya, a 14-year-old schoolgirl in Melathukurichi, set herself ablaze after allegedly being accused of theft by her headmistress at school. According to the investigating officers, Vijayalakshi who is the headmistress of the Union Middle School asked Surya to repay Rs 500swhich had allegedly stolen from one of her classmates. When Surya refused to have committed the crime, she was beaten up mercilessly. Following the incident, Surya attempted to commit suicide by setting herself ablaze with kerosene. She succumbed to her injuries on October 15, 2011.The 14-year-old stated in her dying declaration that the reason behind her suicide attempt was the treatment meted out by her headmistress. Vijayalakshmi is being questioned.In another incident at Guduvanchery, Meltalson Sinha died after consuming poison at the hostel room inside the SRM college campus on October 27, 2011. Police said Sinha was depressed after a failed romance on campus.Sinha was staying with two of his classmates , Amas and Piyas, both from Meghalaya, in the hostel. It is they who found Sinha’s body lying unconscious after they returned from shopping. They informed the warden, who alerted the police. Sinha was admitted at a private hospital where he died later that day.Although he didn’t leave any suicide note, the Police have closed the case and ruled out any other cause of death.“Sadly, it is not the case that only young school children fall prey to this depression. More often it is well placed adults who feel the need to end their life if something goes amiss,” Shefali Dutta, a psychiatrist with the Vimhans hospital in New Delhi, explains.In the wee hours of November 23, 2011, the railway police discovered the body of a 21-year-old boy who had committed suicide by coming under a train.Avinash K, a fifth semester student of mechanical engineering at the National Institute of Engineering (NIE), Hyderabad, was run over by a train near Jayanagar railway gate.According to police reports, Avinash, when he left home to attend an examination, sent an SMS to his elder brother Vijay, stating that he will commit suicide. Shocked at the message, Avinash’s parents, Krishnamurthy K and Sumathi, reached the spot, between Ashokapuram and Chamarajapuram, only to find their child’s body.Avinash and Vijay were chess players. Their father Krishnamurthy is an employee at the Rare Materials Plant (RMP) and a resident of RMP Quarters in Kuvempu Nagar, near here.According to Krishnamurthy’s statement to Railway Police, he did not find any reason for their son’s extreme step.Relatives and friends of Avinash, who gathered at the mortuary of Mysore Medical College and Research Institute, where his body was transferred for a post-mortem examination, said that he was good at studies and had obtained an engineering seat on merit.AFFAIR TO REMEMBER?June 29, 2011, a 26-year-old IT professional, Surender Singh abruptly ended his life in his posh flat in DLF City in Gurgaon. He was a native of Panipat in Haryana and was working at Wipro. He was found hanging in the balcony of his house by one of his roommates. He used a cable wire to hang himself.“Surender might have committed suicide because his five-year-old relationship with his girlfriend had taken a bitter turn lately. However there was no confirmation,” Rajendra Kumar, sub-inspector, tells you.“We don’t know yet if he was in a relationship. We used to speak with him daily on the telephone and he often visited home but never spoke to us about a relationship. We don’t even know who the girl was. Surender was a lively person and never faced any problem at his workplace,” recalls 80-year-old Karan Singh, father of the deceased.Surender was the youngest of four siblings and shared a good relationship with his family members. “We keep wondering what drove him to take this step. He should have told us the problem and we could have tried doing something to sort out whatever issues he was facing,” says the 40-year-old brother Sanjay Singh.November 29, 2011: A 21-year-old software engineer committed suicide at his rented apartment in Sector 21 over a failed relationship. Saumitra Kumar, the deceased, was the son of a senior medical officer at Shahbad, Kurukshetra. He hanged himself from the ceiling fan of his room. His body was spotted next morning by his housemates. After completing his BTech he had come to Gurgaon for work six months ago. On Tuesday night, he had his dinner with his friends at the apartment. When he did not open the door in the morning, friends grew suspicious and opened the room. He, reportedly, used to talk to one girl for long hours in the night. He was depressed over the sour relations.OUTNUMBERED Suicide is one of the top three causes of death among the young in the age group of 15-35 years. Suicide estimates suggest fatalities worldwide could rise to 1.5 million by 2020. National Crime Records Bureau statistics reveal that last year 93,207 adults committed suicide in the country. Student suicides increased by 26 per cent from 2006 to 2010, with metros Delhi, Mumbai and Bengaluru having most victims. While 5,857 student suicides were reported in 2006, the figure jumped to 7,379 in 2010. This shows 20 students killed themselves every day in 2010.

Happiness and Health: Or is it a question of survival?

2011-12-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

Early risers are happier, healthier and slimmer, says studyPosted on: 16 Sep 2011, 02:28 PM London: People who get up early in the morning are likely to be happier, healthier and slimmer than those who do not, says a study.The researchers from London's Roehampton University have found those who watch more TV are more likely to skip breakfast. It could be since they snack in the evening when watching TV, making them less hungry when they wake up in the morning, daily reported.In the study, experts quizzed 1,068 adults to see if they were morning or evening people. They found that morning people tend to be happier, thinner and more conscientious than evening people. They are also more likely to eat breakfast.Joerg Huber, the researcher, said: "These findings bear out the consensus that there are morning people and evening people, and that morning people tend to be healthier and happier, as well as having lower body mass indices."(Agencies)Tags: Early risers are slim healthy and happy, Early risers are slim and trim, Early risers are more fit, Early risers are healthier, rise early to look slim and happy, Study done on early risers health, Research on early risers health ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Quit smoking to be happier and healthierPosted on: 15 Dec 2011, 01:12 PMSome smokers have concerns that their quality of life may deteriorate if they stop smoking but research shows that those who kick the butt feel more satisfied and healthier than those who continue with the habit.A new research by Megan Piper from the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health and her team looks at whether quitting smoking can improve psychological well-being."Our findings suggest that, over the long-term, individuals will be happier and more satisfied with their lives if they stop smoking than if they do not," says Piper.Positive experiences of quitting smoking, including improved well-being, could be used by clinicians to educate and motivate individuals to stop smoking, reports the journal Annals of Behavioural Medicine.The authors assessed quality of health, positive versus negative emotions, relationship satisfaction and stressors among 1,504 smokers taking part in a smoking cessation trial. They were assessed at one year and three years, according to a university statement.The authors found that smokers who quit successfully, long-term, see some noticeable.Tags: Quit smoking, how to quit smoking, effects of smoking, latest on smoking, why should you quit smoking---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Working women have unhealthy children, says surveyPosted on: 06 Nov 2011, 04:41 PM ShareThis« PreviousNext »Working women have unhealthy childrenWorking women have unhealthy childrenNew Delhi: Most of the working mothers have unhealthy children with problems like obesity, while kids whose moms work part time are better off, a lifestyle study by Assocham said.As many as 56 percent of working women have children with problems such as overweight which may aggravate into lifestyle diseases like cardio-vascular disorder and fatty liver when they grow into adults, it said.The problem was far less with the women who take up part time assignments. Only 28 percent of these women have kids with unhealthy physical attributes.On the other hand, homemakers' kids are a lot healthier as they are less into junk foods like pizza, burgers, pasta and aerated drinks, the study done by Assocham Development Foundation said.The study was done on 2,000 students in 25 schools in different cities, including the metropolis Delhi, Mumbai, Pune, Kolkata, Chennai, Hyderabad and Chandigarh."One in five kids in the metropolitan cities is overweight and they are more likely than normal weight children to grow up to be obese adults and suffer from obesity-related conditions including diabetes, cardiovascular disease and fatty liver disease," Assocham said in a statement quoting its Health Committee Chairman B K Rao.Rao, who is also chairman of the Critical Care Medicine Department in Sir Ganga Ram Hospital said: "A healthy diet plays a preventive role in relation to nutrition-related conditions such as overweight, obesity and dental disease and osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease and diabetes mellitus, later in life."The chamber said that the canteens in schools have a role to play. "With child obesity levels rising and physical activity declining, it is important that canteens provide healthy and nutritious food," it said.These comments also reflect concerns in a public interest litigation filed recently seeking ban on sale of junk food in Delhi school canteens.Working parents tend to spend more of their food budget eating out and on fast foods. They may also have less regular family meals, the chamber said.Over 67 percent of children mostly eat crisps or sweets between meals and 75 percent mostly drink sweeten drinks, while a total of 81 percent watch television or use the computer for at least two hours a day. Changes in the children's physical activity, time spent unsupervised or watching television, the survey said.The study found that children of working mothers have more freedom to eat unhealthy fast food and watch television for hours and have less time to prepare more nutritious.It also observed that pressure of job leave women short of time to prepare healthy family meals, so their children will have TV dinners more often.Mother who work part-time or are able to work more flexible schedules have children that are more likely to have healthy diet and exercise behaviours. About 60 percent parents liked their children to carry home-cooked food to school on all six days, though 51 percent of them also give Rs 20-40 to their children to buy canteen food.Also, around 46 percent children spend Rs 50 every day at canteens with burgers and noodles selling the most 45 percent and 40 percent, respectively.(Agencies)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Divorced women in dire straits: SurveyPosted on: 20 Dec 2010, 08:16 PM ShareThis«New Delhi, Dec 20 (Agencies): Approximately 80 percent of divorced or separated women in India live below the poverty line, with a monthly income of less than Rs.4,000, a survey said.Conducted between October 2008 and September 2009, the survey to determine the economic rights and entitlements of divorced and separated women involved interviewing 405 women across the country. Most of them belonged to middle class and lower middle class backgrounds.Divorces and separations are increasing in India. Yet not much attention is being given to the way separated and divorced women live, often with their children, and what their rights and entitlements are," Advocate Kirti Singh, who headed the survey, said Monday at a conference to share the findings.The survey found that in most parts of India the majority of separated or divorced women belonged to the 23-32 age group."Seventy-five percent of these women live in their natal homes because they have no economic support, and they are not always welcome there. Eighty percent of them have their children staying with them," Singh said.The survey said that only 1.7 percent of the respondents were earning a "handsome" amount of Rs.35,000 per month. The majority, approximately 80 percent, earn less than Rs.4,000 per month and live below the poverty line.Another significant finding was that almost half the number of women surveyed had not asked for maintenance. The reasons ranged from ignorance to lack of resources for legal action.A shocking 83 percent of those surveyed said they opted out of the marriage because of cruelty or domestic violence in their marital homes.Tags: Divorced, women, dire, straits, Survey ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Home Nation World States Business Sports Entertainment Lifestyle Special India Vs West Indies Women Home » Lifestyle News » Jobless men, not women more prone to divorceSearchGoJobless men, not women more prone to divorcePosted on: 22 Jun 2011, 08:17 PM ShareThis« PreviousNext »Unemployment may doom divorce for menUnemployment may doom divorce for menWashington: It's quite painful even to think about the possibility of losing your job. But for men, the pang of unemployment can be more severe as their wives are most likely to divorce them, a new study has found. However, in the case of a woman, whether she has a job or not has no effect on the likelihood that her husband would decide to leave the marriage, the Ohio State University study found. The study also found that despite more women entering the workplace, the pressure on husbands to be breadwinners largely remains, a Science website reported. In addition to upping the chances their wives would leave them, unemployed men themselves were more likely to initiate divorce - even if they reported being happy in their marriage - than guys with jobs. Unlike unemployed men, unemployed women were less likely to initiate divorce than their employed counterparts, the researchers said. Employed women were more likely to initiate a divorce than women with jobs, but only when they were highly unsatisfied with the marriage. "These effects probably emanate from the greater change in women's than men's roles," the researchers wrote in an upcoming issue of the American Journal of Sociology. "Women's employment has increased and is accepted, men's non-employment is unacceptable to many, and there is a cultural ambivalence and lack of institutional support for men taking on 'feminised' roles such as household work and emotional support."A woman's unemployment status or decision to enter the work force is not a violation of any marriage norms. Instead, the researchers found that employment provides women withfinancial security, which enables them to leave a marriage when they become highly unsatisfied with their husbands. The study, which was led by Liana Sayer of Ohio State University, was based on data from more than 3,600 couples that had been collected from three waves of the US National Survey of Families and Households.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Working moms happier than stay-at-home momsPosted on: 13 Dec 2011, 12:49 PM ShareThis« PreviousNext »Working moms happier then stay-at-homesWorking moms happier then stay-at-homesWashington: Moms who hold jobs are healthier and happier than those who stay at home during their children's infancy and pre-school years.Researchers analysed the National Institute for Child Health and Human Development Study, beginning in 1991 and involving interviews with 1,364 mothers shortly after childbirth, including subsequent interviews and observations for a decade."In many cases, the well-being of moms working part time was no different from moms working full time," said Cheryl Buehler, professor of human development and family studies, University of North Carolina, Greensboro, who led the study.For example, mothers employed part time reported better overall health and fewer symptoms of depression than stay-at-home moms, The Journal of Family Psychology reports.There were also no reported differences in general health or depressive symptoms between moms employed part time and those who worked full time, the study said.The analysis found that mothers employed part time were just as involved in their child's school as stay-at-home moms, and more involved than moms who worked full time, according to a California statement.Part time mothers appeared more sensitive with their pre-school children and they provided more learning opportunities for toddlers than stay-at-home moms and moms working full time.Particularly in tough economic times, employers looking for cost savings hire part-time employees because they typically do not receive the same level of benefits, such as health insurance, training and career advancement, the authors pointed out."Since part-time work seems to contribute to the strength and well-being of families, it would be beneficial to employers if they provide fringe benefits, at least proportionally, to part-time employees...," said study co-author Marion O'Brien, professor and Buehler's counterpart.(Agencies)Tags: Working moms are happier than stay at home moms, Working moms are much happier, Working is better for mother’s health, Study done on working moms health------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dont think , Be happy

2011-12-17T23:07:00.000-08:00

Don't Overthink Life! Think Less and Get HappyBabies have the charisma to melt anybody’s heart instantly; no one escapes the twinkling eyes or the innocent smile. Just their presence will cheer you up, make you forget your worries and tempt you to indulge into their world. What is it about the young ones that we so fondly adore: their innocence or their ignorance; their cheerful nature or their worry-less attitude?Though I don’t have answers to the above questions, I wonder as to what makes their aura so desirable. Every adult misses their younger days, the thought, “I wish I was a kid again,” resonates with most of us. This is probably the only aspect of life where egoistic adults can leave their success, money, freedom and independence behind for just another chance. Things they might be hesitant to leave even for their loved ones are simply a no-brainer here. When you ask people if they would do it all over again, most respond with an immediate “Yes”. Physically going back in time is not an option yet, but is there anything we can learn from the young ones?Here are some of my ideas. What would you add? Make Work Play The only way you can catch a child’s attention is when you make things seem like play. From learning to count to getting potty trained, everything must feel like fun if you want any success. So what about ourselves? Is your work something you look forward to? If not, is there anything you can do to make it enjoyable? I personally believe that if potty training can seem like a fun activity, anything can; it’s just a matter of perception. Forgive and Forget Babies can laugh and giggle all day because they don’t keep grudges against anyone. Their heart is pure and their mind empty to laugh out loud and enjoy the moment. Do you think they’ve constructed an evil plan against you because you refused them candy last time? Probably not, life moved on and so did they. So why do we hold on to our past and refuse to let go of the emotional baggage? Does it do us any good except prevent us from laughing wholeheartedly? Depending on how you made the kid feel, there is a minute possibility that they may be hesitant to give you a hug the next time they see you. But they are more than willing to give you another chance to make things right. Don’t think candy is good for their health? That’s ok; they are willing to negotiate, are you? Never-ending Curiosity Endless questions of young kids can sometimes be enough to drain the adult mind. They are always busy wondering how things work or why things are the way they are, leaving no room for boredom. Their curiosity gives them an exponential learning curve; they pick up new things quickly and are not repulsive to change. So why does life get boring as we grow older? We all can identify times in our past where time was scarce and desires limitless, fear was unknown and rules were redefined. Then what happened? Are we so engrossed in our daily lives that we miss to see the opportunities the world still has to offer? Unconditional Love Kids have a hug and a kiss for anyone and everyone who wants one. They don’t judge you before they come running into your knees and they don’t walk away if you don’t give them the same in return. They have no expectations from you and simply do what their heart desires. You want a hug, they’ll give you a hug, you want two, and they’ll give you two. So how did the adult world become so materialistic that we decide what we give based on what we think we might receive? Smile Have you ever seen kids smile as they stare at thin air, and wonder what made them giggle? I have, and I’ve concluded that either they can see things that we cannot or they simply don’t need a reason to smile. If there is only one thing I could learn from them, it would be to smile more. Not only does it make you feel good, it makes people wonder what you are smiling about. They’ll come to one of two conclusions: you’re in love or you’re crazy, either ways it will make them smile.Being happy and living life to the fullest is not a difficult task; you just need to have the right attitude and an open mind. Don’t envy the serene life of a baby, start living it yourself![Vibha Dhawan] Written on 2/18/2011 by Vibha Dhawan. Vibha enjoys writing about life, from questioning the bases of our existence to wondering why we feel the way we do. She's fascinated by little things in life. It doesn't take much to make her smile. Visit her at Curious Lounge.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Don't worry, be happy! Comments (0) Add to My StoriesBeat worrying for goodDo you worry so much that you're worried about how much you worry?It's perfectly natural to have some stress in your life. However, if your anxiety becomes chronic you could be causing yourself unnecessary suffering.Fortunately, it is a habit which can be broken.To discover if anxiety is taking over your life, take our simple test. Then learn how to stop. How anxious are you?Read through these statements and rate how closely each one resembles you. Use a scale from one to nine, where one is 'not at all' and nine is 'very much'. Then, add up your scores and check the results.1. Worrying makes me restless.2. I get tense and uptight when I am anxious.3. My heart races when I worry.4. Worrying causes a tightness in my chest.5. I react strongly to things.6. I react first and think second.7. Anxiety comes from nowhere.8. I often overreact.9. I fret about what I should do.10. I fret about what others think.11. I feel guilty about things.12. I worry about being alone.13. I imagine the worst that could happen.14. Many of my worries begin with 'What if?'15. I worry that something terrible will happen.16. I notice negatives in situations.17. My thoughts race from one concern to another.18. Sometimes the kind of thing I worry about scares me.19. When I am anxious I have a onetrack mind.20. I'm afraid not to worry.21. I worry when things are not done the way they should be.22. I'm a perfectionist.23. I worry about small flaws and errors.24. I'm stressed about not doing well enough.25. I worry about being calm and in control.26. I worry about going crazy.27. People think of me as a strong person.28. I cannot control my worrying.29. I am on guard all the time.30. I pay attention to anything irregular.31. I'm very watchful, even when resting or playing.32. I like things to be predictable.33. Anxiety keeps me awake at night.34. Worrying interferes with my life.35. I avoid things that I am anxious about.36. I worry myself sick. If you scored 36-126: Relax, you keep your concerns under sensible control. However, notice any high scores and check them with our worry traits later. If you scored 127-234: You worry moderately but have the potential to become a chronic worrier. Take steps to contain your anxiety before it takes over your life. If you scored 235-324: You are hooked on worrying and it is detracting from the quality of your life. You can take control of it if you take firm steps right away. Find your 'worry place'A 'worry place' is a special place where you do nothing else but worry, which helps contain and control your fears, says Dr Potter.One woman picked the fire escape at work. When she felt the urge to fret, she would go there, she says. You can curb stress further by limiting the time you spend at your 'worry place' to, say, the last five minutes before lunch.Your 'worry place' should be accessible, slightly uncomfortable and boring - so that getting back to your life becomes more attractive. By worrying on schedule, you learn to control it. Keep a list of your anxieties and fret about them only in your 'worry place'. Do something pleasant afterwards. What's your problem?Notice where you scored nine, eight and seven in the test. Check below to find your predominant traits - you may have several - then try the tips that follow. If you scored high in questions: One to four, your problem is physical. Learn breathing, stretching and relaxation techniques, try exercise and cut down on caffeine. Five to eight, you are emotional and overreact. Gain perspective by thinking, 'How important will this be in a year's time?' Nine to 12, your focus is social anxiety. Make a list of everything that makes you feel good for a more positive focus. Thirteen to 16, your problem is catastrophic thinking. Challenge it by focusing on the facts. What are the logical possibilities? Then use your imagination to think about a happy ending for a change. Seventeen to 20, you are an obsessive thinker. Try distraction - concentrate on a simple mental task such as memorising a poem. Or phone a friend - conversations can dispel worry. Twenty one to 24, you are prone to being too judgmental. Drop the words 'should', 'must' and 'ought' from your vocabulary, and use 'like' or 'prefer' instead. Twenty five to 28, your problem is controlling behaviour. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, and don't be so self-critical. Twenty nine to 32, your trait is hypervigilance. Allow small changes in your life, shift everyday routines, such as walk a different route or try a new cafe, and learn simple breathing and meditation techniques. Thirty three to 36, worry is causing dysfunctional behaviour. Learn self-relaxation to help you sleep. Note your worries and use techniques from the other traits to help you gain perspective. If anxiety is getting out of control, seek help from your GP or a counsellor.Extracted by Jane Alexander from The Worrywart's Companion by Dr Beverly Potter (Wildcat Canyon Press, £10.99). Mail order on 0800 018 5450.Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-200789/Dont-worry-happy.html#ixzz1grqKYkV3----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------People who make snap decisions are happier: StudyPosted on: 17 Dec 2011, 04:08 PM ShareThis« PreviousNext »People making snap decisions are happierPeople making snap decisions are happierLondon: Don't be too fussy over making a decision, for a new study says people who make snap decisions are happier than those who agonise over life's big choices.Researchers have found that thinking too much to get decisions spot on can become a vicious circle leading to obsessiveness and unhappiness. But instinctive, unfussy decision-making leads to a worry-free and healthier life.For their study, the researchers divided people into "maximisers" who obsess about everything and curiously named "satisficers" who breeze through life.Maximisers never really know if they get the big decisions about jobs and choice of partners right because theyn dwell on decisions long afterwards. On other hand, satisficers have the happy knack of instinctively being content with whatever choices they have made.The researchers claim that the indecisiveness of maximisers means they can never enjoy the "psychological benefits" of commitment and cause themselves grief, the 'Daily Express' reported.Their indecision can drive away partners, cost them a potentially lucrative career and even damage their health.Maximisers even get nervous at the sight of a final reductions signs during Christmas sales because it makes them feel pressured and forced into commitment.Lead author Professor Joyce Ehrlinger said: "Maximisers miss out on the psychological benefits of commitment, leaving them less satisfied than their more contented counterparts, the satisficers."It's not just coffee-maker purchases that Maximisers stress over -- it's also the big life decisions such as choosing a mate, buying a house or applying for a job. Maximisers get nervous when they see a 'final reduction' sign because it forces them to commit."(Agencies)Tags: how to be happy, how to become happy, decisions and happiness, latest study

Mindfulness Training boosts CBT in social phobia

2011-12-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

Mindfulness training boosts CBT in social phobiaby Diana Mahoney BOSTON -- Mindfulness training was shown to enhance cognitive-behavioral task-concentration techniques used to treat social phobia, Susan M. Bogels, Ph.D., reported at the annual meeting of the Association for Advancement of Behavior Therapy.Dr. Bogels' findings are based on the preliminary results of a Dutch study involving 10 patients diagnosed with social phobia, as measured by the Social Phobia and Anxiety Inventory.Patients were randomized to receive either combination therapy--mindfulness training plus task-concentration techniques--or task-concentration therapy alone.Those who received combination therapy showed more significant improvements based on self-report measures in levels of anxiety caused by negative thoughts and worry, compared with patients in the task-concentration control group, said Dr. Bogels of the University of Maastricht (the Netherlands).All of the patients were evaluated before and after the trial using a detailed structured interview (Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-IV) conducted by trained researchers, as well as various measurements of symptom severity and symptom impact on quality of life, and all patients received nine sessions of the therapy.As part of their therapy, patients in the experimental group received mindfulness training from therapists experienced in using the technique, which aims to change unhelpful and negative patterns of thinking that have become habit.Studies have shown that such thinking contributes to depressed mood, stress, and anxiety."The [mindfulness training] approach focuses on the here and now, starting with body and breathing awareness--incorporating the advantages of applied relaxation--but also includes perceived negative aspects of self," Dr. Bogels said.The mindfulness exercises were used as the "starting point" for the implementation of task-concentration techniques, she explained.The latter involve first directing one's attention toward a task instead of oneself, then implementing coping strategies in both neutral and social phobic situations.The focus of task concentration stems from the assumption that social phobic individuals process themselves as social objects being negatively evaluated, ultimately leading to anxiety and possibly to cognitive and somatic symptoms, which in turn reinforce and increase the anxiety.The investigators evaluated the effect of the two therapies on four dependent variables: social phobia, cognition, attention, and other psychopathologies.Preliminary results showed significant improvements in both the social phobia and cognition composite scores, but no effect was reported on attention or other types of psychopathologies, Dr. Bogels noted."The mean [posttest] effect size in terms of reducing the discrepancy between ideal and actual self--the general measure of happiness with oneself--was 1.8, which is significant," she said. Follow-up evaluations are ongoing.The combined approach may be successful because it enables patients to reduce such negative processes as attentional avoidance, self-focused attention, and mindless worrying while providing them with a sense of control over their attention and fostering improved self-esteem, Dr. Bogels said.Although a longer-term study with a larger sample is needed to validate the findings, the early results suggest that the combined approach may be an effective, efficient therapeutic alternative to existing methods."Significant improvements were achieved in 9 sessions vs. the 12-16 sessions for current cognitive-behavioral therapy for social phobia," Dr. Bogels said.BY DIANA MAHONEYNew England BureauCOPYRIGHT 2004 International Medical News GroupCOPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning All ResourceLibrary

Low work status, job worries boost depression risk

2011-12-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

Low work status, job worries boost depression risk• Mental health and Psychiatry news • May 16, 2006 Being low on the totem pole at the workplace increases the risk that a woman will develop symptoms of severe depression, a new study from Denmark shows.And while low workplace status doesn’t appear to affect men’s depression risk, job insecurity does—men who reported feeling that their jobs were in danger were twice as likely to become depressed.Dr. Reiner Rugulies of the National Institute of Occupational Health in Copenhagen said he and his colleagues were surprised by the gender difference in the findings, which they report in the American Journal of Epidemiology.Rugulies and his team surveyed 4,133 men and women on symptoms of depression and factors in the workplace in 1995, and then resurveyed them in 2000. Because the study was prospective, and the researchers were able to use statistical techniques to adjust for other factors that could influence depression risk, Rugulies said, he and his team are fairly certain that the findings show a cause-and-effect link.They found that women who reported having low influence at work—meaning they had little power to regulate their work pace, involvement in planning work, or information on decisions affecting their workplace—were more than twice as likely to develop severe depressive symptoms over the five-year period.Those who reported low supervisor support, meaning they said that they “usually not” or “never” received support and encouragement from their supervisors, also were at two-fold increased risk of severe depression.Among men, job insecurity—defined as being worried about becoming unemployed, transferred against their will, laid off because of new technology, or having a hard time finding another job if they lost their current one—doubled depression risk, but none of the other factors had an effect.Both workload and co-worker support appeared to play no role in the risk of depression for men or women.Depression is believed to be due to an interaction between a person’s individual vulnerabilities and environmental factors, Rugulies noted. The work environment “might be one important part which interacts with other factors.”SOURCE: American Journal of Epidemiology, May 15, 2006. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mothers turning to drink to cope with supermum stress- The Daily Mail

2011-12-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2073418/Mothers-turning-alcohol-cope-pressure-supermum-putting-childrens-health-risk.html

Mothers turning to alcohol to cope with pressure of being 'supermum' putting their children's mental health at riskBy Daily Mail ReporterLast updated at 1:26 AM on 13th December 2011 Comments (43) ShareA new study says mothers are turning to the bottle, to cope with the pressure of being 'supermums', putting their children at risk of depression and anxiety.Alcohol misuse within families is an "escalating concern" according to Turning Point, which provides services for people with complex issues, including drug and alcohol misuse and mental health problems.The report, Bottling It Up: The Next Generation, has warned that 2.6 million children in the UK are living with a parent who drinks at hazardous levels.Worrying: Millions of children are being put at risk of depression thanks to parents who drink hazardous levels of alcoholWorrying: Millions of children are being put at risk of depression thanks to parents who drink hazardous levels of alcoholBetween 2010 and 2011, 12,248 people used Turning Point's alcohol treatment services, half of whom (5,326) were parents with mothers making up more than a third (1,925) of that figure.The average alcohol consumption of parents was 30 units per day (10 times recommended limits) - 24 for mothers and 33 for fathers - the equivalent of three bottles of wine or up to 15 pints of beer.Turning point's report stated: 'A key issue was that mothers often felt under pressure to be "perfect" and that alcohol was a way of coping with the demands of motherhood.'Some said a lack of support from their partners was a trigger for their drinking.'Others were drinking at least three nights a week and consuming more than 70 units - the equivalent of nearly eight bottles of wine.'Their drinking was often in secret when their children had gone to bed.'Under the influence: The report found that children with parents who drink a lot were more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol at an earlier ageUnder the influence: The report found that children with parents who drink a lot were more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol at an earlier ageOne 35-year-old mother explained: 'I was trying to be Superwoman and I was too stubborn to ask for help.'I felt I had to be the best mother I could possibly be. I was having two bottles of white wine a night, then I switched to vodka because people wouldn't smell it on me.'I'd only drink after I'd put (my son) to bed so on the outside I appeared to be functioning.'The report found that children's mental health could be affected by parental drinking, with eating disorders, depression and even psychosis developing in adulthood.Children living with affected parents were also found to be more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol at an earlier age and to progress to problematic use, the report added.Of 100 parents surveyed, 28% said their drinking meant their children often either missed school or found it difficult to concentrate at school.More than half (55%) believed it had led to increased anger, anxiety and depression in their children.A separate poll of more than 1,000 people across the country found that almost a quarter of parents are concerned about their own drinking, on a scale from slightly to very concerned.More than half (52%) had allowed their children to drink. Of these, 77% let their children drink under the age of 16.A worrying total of 6% allowed children aged 10 and under to drink alcohol.Regional manager Darren Woodward, from Turning Point's substance misuse services, added: 'Alcohol misuse is a hidden and growing problem which affects the whole family.'When an adult has an alcohol problem, children suffer too.'This can impact on how well they do at school, their job prospects and their mental health.'Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2073418/Mothers-turning-alcohol-cope-pressure-supermum-putting-childrens-health-risk.html#ixzz1gTm2wW1O

Aasra feedback session pics

2011-12-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

aasra feedback session, Aasra statistics, Aasra(bookmarks,poster) at Landmark book store Inorbit, vashi

Aasra Volunteers at Bade Miyan , Colaba

2011-12-12T03:28:00.000-08:00

Aasra volunteers letting their hair down at Bade Miyan, Colaba with Kebabs and Bheja fry on Nov 19th 2011 after the Suicide Survivors Day program organised at HELP library

Stress Management Workshop for CDA(Navy) Training cell conducted by Johnson Thomas, Aasra

2011-12-12T02:28:00.000-08:00

Stress Management workshop conducted by Johnson Thomas,Trainer/ Director Aasra, for CDA(Navy) Training cell on 9th Dec 2011 between 3.00 and 5,30 pm.No of participants : 20 (AO's and AAO's) Venue: Knowledge Center, 1st Floor, Varuna, Pr.CDA(Navy)Response- Very positive. 90 + & success based on 'Expectation Game'

Sleep deprived teens, Mumbai city, study by Jaslok Hospital

2011-12-12T01:18:00.001-08:00

8 out of 10 young teens suffer from sleep deprivation• Jaslok Hospital study throws up alarming figures; blames internet, television for poor sleep patterns • Docs say lack of sleep could lead to early heart problemsJyoti ShelarFreakin' Awesome! Freakin' Awesome! Freakin' Awesome! Freakin' Awesome! Freakin' Awesome! Mail this article Mail this page Print this article Print this page Translate this page Translate this page Rate me....Share Share Reddit.com Share del.icio.us Share StumbleUpon.com 0diggPosted On Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 02:35:48 AMIt is not only you who is constantly deprived of a good night's rest. Your child, too, could be suffering from serious sleep deprivation. A study conducted by doctors at Jaslok Hospital has revealed that what was so far considered an adult problem in urban India has percolated down to teenagers as well.The survey, Sleepiness Patterns in Urban Adolescents in Western India, says that one in every four teenagers between 13 and 15 years of age is suffering from “significant sleep deprivation” (only 4-6 hours per night), and 57 per cent others from “moderate sleep deprivation” (6-8 hours), both conditions that could lead to serious health problems in the long run. The main reason for this alarming trend, the study says, is excessive exposure to technology: long hours spent in front of the TV, on video games, on mobile phones, and on the Internet.“An adolescent in this 13 to 15 age-group should sleep for between eight-and-a-half hours to nine-and-a-quarter hours to remain in good health. But this mandatory target was consistently met by hardly any of the 314 teenagers covered in the survey,” said Dr Preeti Devnani, with Jaslok hospital’s department of neurology and neurophysiology.Doctors found that lack of sleep led to teenagers constantly operating below their potential during the course of any normal day. They discovered that 32.16 per cent of kids surveyed felt drowsy soon after they reached school, 25 per cent towards the day’s last class, 20 per cent on their way back, 30 per cent after they got back home, and 55 per cent in the early evening.As many as 20 per cent got ‘sleep attacks’; in other words, they did not realise they had fallen asleep until they were woken up.While these short-term effects of sleep deprivation are bad enough, the long-term dangers are far more worrying, starting with fatigue, body-ache and hypertension, and going all the way up to early heart trouble.Dr H N Mallick, president of the Indian Society of Sleep Research, said the figures indicated it was about time parents and children started realising good sleep was vital for the body. “We talk about health issues, nutrition, cardiac problems, and so on, but we are yet to understand the importance of sleep,” Mallick, a professor with the department of physiology at New Delhi’s All-India Institute of Medical Sciences, told Mumbai Mirror.“Lack of sleep results in slow learning, lack of concentration, and dip in energy levels in the short term, and may lead to stress, and from there to early cardiac problems,” he said, adding that the dangers were far greater in big cities, which took pride in how they ‘never sleep’.Peer PressureParents, on the other hand, said that they were constantly failing to enforce a healthy regimen because excessive school work took up most of their kids’ day, and the temptation of various sources of entertainment kept them up late at night.“My daughter often bunks because she is unable to get up in the morning for her 7.10 am school,” said Anuja Keer, mother of 14-year-old Manvi, who studies in class 9. “She spends most of her time on the computer, watching TV, and on the phone. I’ve tried to discipline her but it’s hard to fight peer pressure. All children seem to have the same routine these days. They never go to bed before midnight, and are therefore never able to get good sleep,” she said.Other parents we spoke to, 14-year-old Aryan’s father Rajiv Patel and 13-year-old Atharva’s mother Pallavi, blamed their kids’ lack of sleep on excessive school work. “Aryan’s school starts at 6.50 am, but by the time he sleeps at night it’s past 12 because there is homework, projects, and so on. He is stuck to his computer with that all day. I have now made it compulsory for him to sleep in the afternoon for 2 to 3 hours,” Patel said.Koli said that even if Atharva slept by 10pm, he had to be up before 5 in the morning to get ready for school. “In the afternoon, he has classes and then goes to play in the evening. It leaves him stressed throughout the day,” she said.• Lack of sleep results in slow learning and may lead to stress and from there to early cardiac problems - Dr H N Mallick, president of Indian Society of Sleep Research---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This refers to the article titled ‘8 out of 10 young teens suffer from sleep deprivation’ (MM, December 10). The world is moving at a rapid pace, and it feels like people do not have time for their children anymore. Kids themselves lead very busy lives, with school, tuition, sports classes and so on. Many parents don’t even get to see their children, except on weekends. Thus kids have no choice but to turn to their TVs, phones and computers.This calls for a larger change in parenting. People need to stop spending so much time at their jobs, and devote a little more to their children instead.– Raju IyerThe results of the study, conducted by doctors at the Jaslok Hospital, are disturbing. It is a wake up call for parents, who need to think about the pressure they put on their children. Also, even if the children protest parents need to be assertive and ensure that their kids get sufficient sleep.– Deepak ChikramaneThe frightening statistics of both youngsters and adults suffering from a number of ailments, and the doctors’ suggestions, seem a little unbelievable. Let us not rely completely on remedies doctors suggest. Instead of getting tense about every new statistic that survey’s throw up, we need to relax and live easy lives.– Mukund Kumar-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sleep deprivation linked to depression in teensBy Anne Harding, Health.comJune 9, 2010 -- Updated 1220 GMT (2020 HKT)HealthThe rate of depression among the students was very high in the study of high schoolers and sleep.The rate of depression among the students was very high in the study of high schoolers and sleep.STORY HIGHLIGHTS Daytime sleepiness appears to be the new normal for adolescents It's not clear from the study whether sleeping poorly is a symptom of depression Parents can help by setting household rules and keeping an eye on computer, phone useRELATED TOPICS Depression Education Mental Health Mood Disorders(Health.com) -- Sleep-deprived high school students who doze off in class aren't just risking the wrath of their teachers. They're also three times more likely to be depressed than their alert classmates who get enough sleep, a new study has found."Sleep deprivation and depression go hand in hand among teenagers," says the study's lead author, Mahmood Siddique, D.O., a sleep medicine specialist at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, in New Brunswick, New Jersey. "Instead of giving them medications, I'd rather give them a chance to sleep better, and more."Daytime sleepiness appears to be the new normal for adolescents. More than half of the 262 high school seniors who participated in the study were "excessively sleepy," according to a commonly used scale that gauges how likely a person is to doze off during everyday activities such as reading, watching TV, or sitting in a traffic jam.Health.com: Foods to boost your moodThe students reported sleeping an average of about six hours on school nights and eight hours on the weekend, far less than the nine hours a night--at least--that the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends for high school students.Health.com: How to cope with less sleep at workThe rate of depression among the students was very high. Thirty percent of the teens had strong symptoms of depression, while an additional 32 percent had some depression symptoms, according to the study, which was presented today in San Antonio at SLEEP 2010, an annual meeting of sleep researchers.The students who were excessively sleepy during the day were three times more likely to have strong depression symptoms than their well-rested peers, Dr. Siddique and his colleagues found. However, it's not clear from the study whether sleeping poorly is a symptom of depression, or vice versa."It makes sense that daytime sleepiness would be associated with depression," says James Gangwisch, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and sleep specialist at Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons, in New York City. While the ill effects of depression on sleep are well known, he adds, mounting evidence suggests that sleep deprivation in and of itself can contribute to depression.Health.com: What's keeping you awake at night?Though the study was relatively small and limited to a single high school, experts say the findings likely reflect the experience of American adolescents as a whole. High school students in particular are facing greater academic pressure and college competition than ever before, and all those AP classes and extracurricular activities can eat into sleep time.Health.com: How to sleep easier and avoid midday fatigue"To get into a good college, it's not enough to be an A student," says Dr. Lisa Shives, M.D., the medical director of Northshore Sleep Medicine, in Evanston, Illinois. "You've got to play football and be captain of the chess team, too."Thanks to social media websites and cell phones brimming with text messages, teens' social lives are increasingly hectic as well."They want to stay in the loop," Gangwisch says. "Their peers are so important that if there's a way to be in touch with them in the middle of the night, they want to do it."Health.com: No-cost ways to fight depressionParents can help their overburdened and over-connected teens get enough sleep by setting household rules and keeping an eye on computer and cell-phone use, says Ann Niles, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City who works with middle school students. "They'll go in their room at a certain time, but nobody's really monitoring them or watching how they're settling down or relaxing," she says.Turning off the TV and computers after a certain hour and keeping technology--even cell phones--out of teenagers' bedrooms may be a good start. "Any electrical stimulus in the bedroom in the middle of the night is certainly going to impair sleep," says Lauren Hale, Ph.D., an assistant professor of preventive medicine at the Stony Brook University Medical Center, in Stony Brook, New York.Old-school parenting is still important in the digital age, Niles says."Before computers it was the telephone, and before the telephone it was playing with the neighbors," she says. "Regardless of the technology or what kids are spending their time on, we have to set limits and rules and try to ensure that kids are watching out for their own health."Copyright Health Magazine 2011

The Times of India IMRB survey for Social Infrastructure in India cities

2011-12-12T00:52:00.001-08:00

IMRB- Quality of Life Survey (Major Metros in India)Work CultureMumbai- 3.3Bangalore- 3.2Pune 3.1Ahmedabad 3.1Chennai- 3Delhi 2.9Hyderabad-2.8Kolkata-2.5Job opportunitiesDelhi-3.4Bangalore -3.4Mumbai -3.2Pune- 3.1Chennai- 3.1Ahmedabad-3.0Hyderabd-3.0Kolkata-2.1Quality of CollegesDelhi- 3.8Pune-3.7Chennai- 3.5Bangalore -3.4Mumbai- 3.3Ahmedabad-3.3Hyderabad-3.2Kolkata-2.8Quality of SchoolingDelhi-3.8Pune -3.7Mumbai-3.5Ahmedabad-3.5Bangalore-3.5Chennai-3.5Hyderabad-3.4Kolkata-3Housing facilitiesAhmedabad-3.1Hyderabad-2.9Delhi-2.8Bangalore-2.8Chennai-2.7Pune -2.7Kolkata-2.6mumbai 2Hospitalisation facilitiesDelhi -3.2Ahmedabad -3.2Bangalore-3.0Chennai- 3.0Mumbai- 2.9hyderabad-2.8Pune -2.8Kolkata-2.2Social Infrastructure (housing, hospitals, schools, colleges, work culture, job opportunitie)Delhi- 3.3 Ahmedabad-3.2Bangalore- 3.2Chennai- 3.1 Pune 3.1Mumbai 3.0Hyderabad- 3.0Kolkata-2.5Cost of living\Ahmedabad 2.8Hyderabad 2.8Pune 2.7Kolkata 2.5Chennai 2.4Bangalore 2.3Delhi 2.2Mumbai 2.0Civic sense and cleanlinessHyderabad 2.5Ahmedabad 2.4Pune 2.3Bangalore 2.3Mumbai 2.2Delhi 2.0Chennai 2.0Kolkata 1.8Situation of domestic helpPune 2.9Mumbai 2.8Ahmedabad 2.8Kolkata 2.7Hyderabad 2.7Delhi 2.6Chennai 2.5Bangalore 2.5Relaxed Lifestylehyderabd 2.8Pune 2.8Ahmedabad 2.8Bangalore 2.5Chennai 2.3Delhi 2.2Kolkata 2.2Mumbai 2.0 Peace of Mind(cost of living , civic sense, cleanliness, relaxed lifestyle, situation of domestic help)Hyderabad 2.7Pune 2.7Ahmedabad 2.7Bangalore 2.4Chennai 2.3Kolkata 2.3Delhi 2.2Mumbai 2.3CosmopolitanismKolkata 3.5Mumbai 3.4Bangalore 3.3Hyderabad 3.1Delhi 3.0Chennai 2.9Pune 2.9Ahmedabad 2.7Respect for ValuesPune 3.2Hyderabad 3.1Chennai 3.0Ahmedabad 3.0Kolkata 3.0Mumbai 2.9Delhi 2.5Bangalore 2.9City FriendlinessHyderabad 3.6Ahmedabad 3.3Bangalore 3.1Chennai 3.0Pune 2.9Mumbai 2.9Kolkata 2.8Delhi 2.3Women friendlinessAhmedabad 3.5Mumbai 3.2Pune 3.2Kolkata 2.9Bangalore 2.9Chennai 2.8HyderaBAD 2.7DELHI 1.7CULTURAL HERITAGEDelhi 3.6Hyderabad 3.4Pune 3.4Ahmedabad 3.4Kolkata 3.2Mumbai 3.0Bangalore 3.0Chennai 2.9Social and Cultural values( cultural heritage,respect for values, women friendliness, cosmopolitanism and city friendliness)Ahmedabad 3.2Hyderabad 3.2Mumbai 3.1Kolkata 3.1Pune 3.1Bangalore 3.0Chennai 2.9Delhi 2.6All ratings on a scale of 1-5 The times of India IMRB survey)It's quite clear from this survey that the population ratio has not been factored into these calculations else in terms of a city providing the maximum benefits to a maximum nuamber of people Mumbai would be tops all the way through! Ah

Generosity is key to a happy marriage- The Daily Mail

2011-12-12T00:46:00.001-08:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2072540/Generosity-biggest-key-happy-marriage-sex-really-important-too.htmlGenerosity could be the biggest key to a happy marriage (but sex is still really important, too)By Daily Mail ReporterLast updated at 5:55 PM on 10th December 2011 The flowers a man gives to his wife and the back rubs she doles out in return could be the key to a happy marriage.Couples with above-average generosity in their marriages reported that they were five times more likely to be 'very happy' in their relationship, according to a new study.A fulfilling sex life ranked as the single biggest indicator of whether married couples were happy, but high levels of generosity also contributed to good times in the bedroom. This means generosity could be a key to sexual satisfaction and general happiness.Couple in loveSay it with flowers: Giving gifts and affection generously makes couples five times more likely to have a happy marriage, according to a new studyExperts say the generosity can be as simple as couple making coffee, giving flowers or physical attention.But whatever one spouse is giving, the other has to actually want.'(It's) signaling to your spouse that you know them, and are trying to do things for them that are consistent with your understanding of them,' Bradford Wilcox, one of the study's researchers, told MSNBC. But if, for example, your spouse loves almond mochas, and you get her black coffee instead, it doesn't count so much toward generosity, Wilcox added.However, sex was still a more consistent indicator of of happy marriage. Men and women who reported a good sex lives were 10 to 13 times more likely to say they were 'very happy' in their marriages than those who reported mediocre sex. Generosity still seems a proven path to a happy marriage.Coffee cupMeeting needs: Generosity has to be sensitive for it to work. If your lover enjoys a fancy mocha and you buy black coffee, it doesn't countAbout 50 percent of women and 46 percent of men with high levels of generosity in their marriages reported being 'very happy.'By contrast, just 14 percent of couples who did not have high generosity were happy.The researchers compiled a list of five elements most likely to make a marriage happy: Sexual satisfaction was first, followed by a sense of commitment. Generosity and a positive attitude toward the couple's children were important, as well. Women also need social support from friends and family and men need spirituality within the marriage, the researchers found. The survey examined 1,400 straight couples with children between the ages of 18 and 46. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2072540/Generosity-biggest-key-happy-marriage-sex-really-important-too.html#ixzz1gJApJuV2

World Suicide Survivors Day, video recording,recant of the entire program-

2011-12-09T10:12:00.001-08:00

helplibrary 11:44 AM (11 hours ago) to aasrahelpline, meDear Mr Johnson Thomas Thank you for your HELP TALK on World Suicide Survivor's Day-Surviving SuicideAs you are aware, we had recorded your talk and have uploaded the same on our website and on youtube in 2 parts,the links of which are as follows:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp3zAn359Qchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK8xq2dpgeYYou may wish to share it with your family and friends.We will appreciate your feedback on the same.Thanks & Regards,Rutuja-------------------------------------------------------------------------------World Suicide survivors day 19th Nov 2011, 3pm.This day is basically being commemorated to egg on the process of healing for all survivors- whether it be people who have attempted suicide and survived, people who lost their loved ones to suicide and those who have been touched by the act of suicide by their near and near ones, who may not be their blood relative or spouse. Suicide is basically a cry for help. The attempt speaks of an unbearable pain. A pain so deep, persistent and strong that it becomes difficult for the person experiencing it to want to stay alive. That pain is mostly emotional.Aasra understands that for people to be able to deal with that unbearable emotional pain they need to be able to express it in secure spaces- where there will be no judgement or criticism, advice or force. This event is an attempt to create that safe space. Power point presentation on Aasra and suicide survivors day-A day of healing .Enactments by Aasra VolunteersAn old person is sitting in the middle of the stage, watching over a distance. A person (aged 20 something) enters the stage.Major spotlight on the young fellow. He looks confused and tries to examine his surroundings in that confusion. He looks sad and in distress. Lets calll him rajiv.Rajiv: yeh kaunsi jagah hai? Mein kahan aa gaya hoon? Kuch der pehle tak toh mein apne kamre mein tha, I was wrting something. I dnt.remember wot, but I know I was writing something when I .....(he stops abruptly seeing the old man, he walks up to him aand asks) aap kaun hai? Wat is this place? Why do I not remember anything? Plz help me, meri madad kijiye!Old man: beta, tumhe kya lagta hai ki tum kahan ho? (rajiv.is.confused)Old man: ( continues) mera naam amar hai, mujhe bhi yahan aae jyada waqt nahi hua hai, par jitn mujhe samajh mein aaya hai, ooske hisab se, yeh woh jagah jahan pe yeh decide hota hai ki kaun swarg mein jayega aur kaun narak mein. I think this is just the start of the afterlife.Rajiv: kya? (he goes silent, and after 5sec. Starts remembering things - starts sobbing) Old man: mein tumhe aur dhang se bata par ......tum yahan pe aaye kaise?Rajiv: mein apne kamre mein tha.......mujhe .....thik.se yaad nahi aa rha hai....Old man: pareshaan mat ho, I think its all too much to digest...mind takes its own time...just relax....mujhe bhi time laga tha...but once u relax..it starts coming back...all the answers...the hows an whys?( Rajiv sits somewhr on the stage...starts relaxing....and slowly things starts.coming back)Rajiv: It wasnt n accident tht killed me...i killed myself. It was a suicide tht killed me!Old man: kya keh rahe ho? Par kyon, tum toh abhi kaafi ....Rajiv: (cuts old man mid way) kya karta mein aur? My life is a failure...(stops for a.second, takes a breath, thn starts) whn I was in school, I used to hope tht things will change once I grow up. It didnt. It never changed for me. I could not even get the bare minimum marks in my final year exams. Apko pata hai meri job lag gayi thi, it was just a matter of few marks. I never went out with people for parties,.movies, drinks....never...stayed in my room and studied hard. I spent last 8. Years, just on hope. That it will all change....it didnt....itdidnt...nd wkhn I saw tohe final result in my room. I just could not take it nemore. It was the end I knew it. I bought a rope and hanged myself from the fan in my room. I think its been a few hours since thn. I wonder if they have found my body by now?Old man: sure. They must have. Your friends would have come or some one might have called.Rajiv: I dnt.know. Never interracted with neone in my hostel. I never really had any close.friend. Every time I tried to make friends with someone, but after sometime found myself annoyed with them. I would compare my life wih theirs and eventually used to feel sorry for myself and alone. I had a girlfriend once, but she wanted different things I n life. She was very ambitious, alwayss with the plans for future. To.the extent tht once i ridiculed her for dreaming all.the time.Old man: this doent make sense. You had so much to do and u lefft everything half way through.Rajiv: I had so much to do? What.exactly did i have? No, i was done. What is the point of living if you keep losing at every point. I was lost, the life tht i wanted was lost.Old man: do you feel complete now? Rajiv, tumne life ko bahut hi galat interpret kar liya hai. You have ruined ur present in anticipation of a perfect future. A perfect future dosent exist rajiv. It is an imaginary thought. Life in its completenesd is not perfect. There are ups and downs. May be the situationd were a little worse for u, but that doesnt mean tht u kill urselff over it. Aise karna agar sahi hota toh, hum sab bahut pehle mar gaye hote. Because believe it or not, we didnt have a perfect life either. Its wot u make out of the available situation tht defines u.Rajiv: baba aapko shayad apni zindagi mein Itna dukh aur akelapan nahi mila hoga, isiliye aap mujhe bol paa rahe hoOld man: haan nahi mila, kyonki mujhe jab bhi dukh ka saamna karna pada, meine hans ke kiya. Instead of.feeling miserable, i moved on with my life whenever it appeared tht it will never get better. And look, where i am now, i lived a long, fruitful nd loving life.Rajiv: i am sure u did. But we are.different, isiliye toh hum dono itne different hain.Old man: different. Tum.compare kaise kar sakte ho? Meine aapni poori life jee hai aur ab jaake yahan aaya hoon. You on the other hand, have not even seen half of what was in store for you. No, yours is an incomplete life. A life which could have been so much more, had you kept a little faith. You will never be able to feel the excitment of the first salary, the adrenalin rush of driving your first car,.the joy of finding a soulmate and the feeling of being able to share the life with someone, the happiness of seeing your first born.....aaah. You could.have seeen so many new things.and you chose nothingness over life.Rajiv: ( by now feeling regret) but how did u find hope?Old man: by not looking for it. I think ki hum log life bahut hi competitive.hoke.jeete hain. We let the results, success and failure govern our entire life. So much so tht we forget tht thr is one more thing which is important thn the result. The process, the path we choose to achieve things.Rajiv: are you saying tht the end ressult.dnt.matter.Old man: i m saying tht follow the right path and you dnt have to worry abt the resultRajiv is by now at loss of wordsOld man: you know, i had an accident whn i was still in college. 23-24 saal ka raha hooga mein. And they.had to remove both of my legs due to excessive blood losss. I dnt even remember what the doctor was saying. I was depressed for a whole month. Thought of jumping out of the hospital floor a couple of times. but thn, one fine day i saw a begger on the street. He didnt had his legs jst like me and one of his arms was amputated. Still he was surviving, living his life, making out of it.in the best.way he.can. And thn, i realised tht i still have both of my hands, its not tht bad. Tht was hope, it came.at a time and place i least expected.it to be.Rajiv: by now fully understoood tht he has made the mistake and its too late now.Old man: ( stage goes dark and a white light appears in a distance) come now, its time. ( they start moving towards the light, light goes out slowly into pitch black)(narrator can recite these lines in the end - Jindagi ki asli udaan abhi baaki haiJindagi ke kai imtehan abhi baaki haiAbhi to naapi hai mutthi bhar zamin humneAbhi to sara aasman baaki hai)The endMy StoryKaushalya Gandhi(name changed)

My story is hard to tell because I wasn’t really involved in his life the last couple of years he was alive. Adi was an amazing person. I met him when I was younger; he was my best friend’s older brother. There was always something special about him.I fell in love with Adi and in turn he fell in love with me. He was the absolute sweetest boyfriend I had ever had. He would send flowers to my high school almost every month. A dozen red long stem roses, my friends were always jealous. Adi and I were soon married. He would leave me notes on the table with cards’ calling me his princess. He was very much into music and writing poems, and really good at it. I still read the poems he left me. Sadly we did break up, got divorced and he and I went our own ways. His sister is still my best friend and his mom is my second mom. Though our families were close I didn't see or hear from him very much. He had moved on and met his new wife. I am not sure of what went wrong from there but he ended his life in August of 2008. Receiving the phone call from his mom at work was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I burst into tears and scared my co-workers. I had just received an email from him a few months before asking me to do a favor for him which I couldn't’t do. I couldn't’t believe this had happened. Why did this happen???Adi was intelligent, funny, caring, artistic, and so much more. He would light up the room when he was around, and could make you smile. To lose your first love will always be a painful, but to have him gone forever is a pain that will never go away. I look back and find myself saying “well if I could have just done what he had asked me to he could still be here” or I sit and listen to our songs over and over, and read his letters and burst into tears. My Story Katy Daruwala(name changed)ScaredMy beautiful son Parvez ended his life 29 days ago. He was only 22. How 29 days can seem like only yesterday is amazing to me at times. When I heard of parents having a child who died, I always thought that it would be the worst pain possible and thought that I could understand how awful it would be.. Until it happens to you, you realize it is a billion times worse than you ever could have imagined. We were lucky in the sense that we didn't have a lot of the why questions after Parvez's suicide. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and depression and was just released from the hospital the day of his death. We thought he was ready to come home. And although it was a huge shock to come home to find that he had hung himself, I knew that he just wanted the pain to end. I wish that he would have given his medication more time to work, but I realize that no matter how much I want it, nothing will let me turn back the clock. No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much? I hold onto the fact that Parvez knew how much I loved him, how much I supported him and how proud I was of him and all the progress that he made. I will ALWAYS be proud of Parvez! I am not ashamed to say that he had a mental illness and commited suicide. I think as suicide survivors it is our job to try to end some of the stigma that goes along with suicide. I do this by being honest with people about what happened. You think this only happens to other people, I want people to know if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Story - Anonymous I want to remain anonymous., My friend died recently. He committed suicide in the bathroom, of his mother's house. His nine year old brother found him. He was hospitalized on life support for about 24 days. He had hundreds of visitors, and as the days past he showed no improvement. Eventually, the time came. I am 14, I am grieving, and I wish I could have helped. My friend was an amazing person. He was a musician, a poet, and above all, a friend to everyone. Our community misses him, the world misses him, and nobody knew it was coming. There was no signs of depression, there was no immediate note, there was no goodbyes. In fact, he planned for the future, he wanted to move on with his life, he had the most potential I've ever seen in a person. I love him, as do his friends, his family, his peers, his teachers, and his community. I want to say to everyone who may be grieving, perhaps contemplating suicide, that you are not alone. You think all the doors are closed, when all you have to do is knock, and they will swing right open. There are hundreds of people who care about you, who will take the time to help you, you just need to make a call, or walk to the next door, you only need to say the word. You may not want to hurt the people around you, you may think nobody loves you, and by doing this, you can make it all go away. It is wrong though, suicide is not the way out, people want to help you. They gladly will. Thank you World Suicide Survivors Day ProgramYou are Attending • Share • Public eventSee allTime 19 November • 14:30 - 17:30________________________________________Location HELP library D.N.Rd near CST station________________________________________Created by: Johnson Thomas________________________________________More info "I wish I could say that it ended there, that I've worked through my grief. I am still plagued by what I call the "if onlys." If only Hrithik and I could have switched places: if I had been born five years before him, instead of the other way around, he would have received more appropriate treatment and perhaps not seen suicide as his only option. If only the psychiatric hospital had committed him. If only he hadn't been on the sixth floor. If only he had been in restraints."300 other cities in 19 different countries.AASRA and AFSP join hands to make it possible for people living with suicidal loss to come together and express their pain. While we gently encourage all survivors, familiies of suicide attempted victims and as well as those who have themselves survived the attempt, to participate in this day by attending a conference site in-person, this isn’t always possible, and some survivors may not feel emotionally ready. Please For those who can't attend there is a webcast at www.afsp.org. It can be watched from home, 1-2:30 EST, with a live online chat immediately following. (If you live in a time zone where that won’t work – don’t worry, the webcast is saved online survivors can watch online at anytime afterwards too.)Program at HELP library on 19th November 2011 at 3.00 pm onwardsIntroduction of the themePowerpoint presentationVideo film on survivorsGeneral Sharing and discussionsJohnson ThomasDirectorAasrawww.aasra.infoaasrasuicideprevention.blogspot.comwww.facebook.com/aasrasuicideprevention@aasradotinfo on Twitter“There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. Stop judging. If you're not in their shoes, you won't understand.”Mob: 9820466726

Value of Happiness and Time

2011-12-05T15:54:00.001-08:00

Very very thought provoking, don't miss reading till end. Value of Happiness & Time Yesterday, I was driving, and the FM radio went off for few seconds. I thought, I should have an iPod. Then suddenly I realized that I have not used my iPod in last 6 months. And then, more things, Handy cam in last 2 years, Digital Camera in last 2 months, DVD player in last 1 month and many more. Now I can say that I bought that Handy cam just out of impulse, I have used it twice only in last 4 years.So, what's wrong and where? When I look at myself or my friends I can see it everywhere. We are not happy with what we have but all are stressed and not happy for the things we don't have. You have a Santro, but you want City; You have a City, but you want Skoda. Just after buying a new phone, we need another one. Better laptop, bigger TV, faster car, bigger house, more money. I mean, these examples are endless. The point is, does it actually worth? Do we ever think if we actually need those things before we want them?After this, I was forced to think what I need and what I don't. May be I didn't need this Handy cam or the iPod or that DVD player. When I see my father back at home. He has a simple BPL colour TV, he doesn't need 32" Sony LCD wall mount. He has a cell phone worth Rs 2,500. Whenever I ask him to change the phone, he always says, "Its a phone, I need this just for calls."And believe me; he is much happier in life than me with those limited resources and simple gadgets. The very basic reason why he is happy with so little is that he doesn't want things in life to make it luxurious, but he wants only those things which are making his life easier. It's a very fine line between these two, but after looking my father's life style closely, I got the point. He needs a cell phone but not the iPhone. He needs a TV but not the 32" plasma. He needs a car but not an expensive one.Initially I had lot of questions.I am earning good, still I am not happy,...why ?I have all luxuries, still I am stressed.... ....... why ?I had a great weekend, still I am feeling tired...... why?I met lot of people, I thought over it again and again, I still don't know if I got the answers, but certainly figured out few things. I realize that one thing which is keeping me stressed is the "stay connected" syndrome. I realized that, at home also I am logged in on messengers, checking mails, using social networks, and on the top of that, the windows mobile is not letting me disconnected. On the weekend itself, trying to avoid unwanted calls, and that is keeping my mind always full of stress. I realized that I am spending far lesser money than what I earn, even then I am always worried about money and more money. I realized that I am saving enough money I would ever need, whenever needed. Still I am stressed about job and salary and spends.May be, many people will call this approach "not progressive attitude", but I want my life back. Ultimately it's a single life, a day gone is a day gone. I believe if I am not happy tonight, I'll never be happy tomorrow morning. I finally realized that meeting friends, spending quality time with your loved one's; spending time with yourself is the most important thing.If on Sunday you are alone and you don't have anybody to talk with, then all that luxuries life, all that money is wasted. May be cutting down your requirements, re-calculating your future goal in the light of today's happiness is a worthwhile thing to do. May be selling off your Santro and buying Honda City on EMIs is not a good idea. I believe putting your happiness ahead of money is the choice we need to make. I think, a lot can be said and done but what we need the most is re-evaluation of the value of happiness and time we are giving to our life and people associated with it.Think about it.by Anonymous-- Happiness is not getting what you want, rather wanting what you get.

Thank you letter from HELP library

2011-12-05T15:34:00.001-08:00

19th, November ,2011To,Mr.Johnson Thomas ,On behalf of HELP Library readers and staff we take this opportunityto express our sincerest appreciation for your generous gesture ofdonating book. We will include this to our collection at HELP and aresure our readers would benefit. We will also Endeavour to put up areview on our website.Thanking you,Yours faithfully,Baslin Mary.Health Education Library for People,National Insurance Building, Gr Floor,206, Dr.D.N.Road,Mumbai - 400 001.Tel Nos.65952393/ 65952394/22061101

Modern Times.... Quality v/s Quantity....

2011-12-02T05:53:00.000-08:00

In modern times, Stress is on rise … Everywhere whether in media, at office or at home we hear about stress … It is a major topic of discussion as we speed through our hectic days ... Demanding work , compulsions to achieve goals, fast paced city life, intense competition, long working hrs, no job security, long travelling hrs, technological changes (keeping pace with learning new things), working mothers/spouses, nuclear families are few of aspects of modern life style which is taking its toll on us ...

From Human Beings, we are fast becoming Human doings ... Everyone seems to have far too many tasks they want to accomplish... We hardly think about pacing ourselves better ... While it is true that we are now living longer than we ever have, but are we living better, healthier, than before? Do we have better quality of life? Or is it just quality v/s quantity?

In this new age of abundant possibilities, many of us go limp from indecision. With so many options at our disposal, we often wonder whether the path we are taking is the most appropriate path. We can’t help ourselves from wondering questions like “Is this really what I want?” ”Will it lead to optimum utilization of my skill?”,”This is what I love doing?” … Certainty becomes very difficult to achieve. Unchosen possibilities linger forever. We become compulsive comparers – Always wondering if we should have taken that path (which others are treading).Always thinking that others are much luckier than we are. All this leads to anxiety. One spends all his time contemplating the options and deferring any action. What is the way out?

Well I think the best way to tackle anxiety or stress is to develop an attitude of accepting things that we can’t change, giving our best to do things we can change and foster wisdom to know the difference. Keeping things in perspective is also very vital for example sometimes when we get late for work, we usually hurry on road without realising that it will hardly matter if we are 5 minutes late, but what is at stake is huge(our lives) ... Then having good sense of humour, being positive, establishing a network of social support , having healthy lifestyle , cultivating hobbies , making time for recreation , keeping yourself engaged(maybe volunteering), expressing gratitude , giving/sharing freely , practising detachment , not being self opinionated ,being carefree not careless , living in present , discussing problems , keeping a pet(if one likes) ... All these will help you in keeping yourself free from stress and anxiety ... We should also remember that practising stress free life style is an incremental process .... So slowly and gradually start inculcating these habits in your lifestyle and see the difference....

Suicide Statistics for 2010, India

2011-11-30T00:19:00.001-08:00

Suicide Statistics for 2010 is out : 69/130 women are housewives who committed suicide every day. 139 committed suicide per day Age 0-23] 123 committed suicide per day: [30-44] .................................................................................. SUICIDES  15 Suicides took place every hour.  More than one lakh persons (1,34,599) in the country lost their lives by committing suicide during the year 2010.  It is observed that social and economic causes have led most of the males to commit suicides whereas emotional and personal causes have mainly driven females to end their lives.  Suicides because of ‘Family Problems’ (23.7%) and ’Illness’ (21.0%) combined accounted for 44.7% of total Suicides.  The percentage of suicides due to 'Property Dispute' and 'Death of dear person' showed a relatively higher increase of 48.0% and 28.9% respectively.  The overall male:female ratio of suicide victims for the year 2009 was 65:35, however, the proportion of Boys : Girls suicide victims (upto 14 years of age) was 52:48.  Nearly 70.5% of the suicide victims were married males while 67.0% were married females.  Five States – Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh – accounted for 65.8% of suicide victims in the age group 60 years and above.  69.2% of the suicide victims were married while 30.8% were un-married.  26.3% of the suicide victims were primary educated and 22.7% were middle educated while 19.8% of victims of suicide were illiterate.  1 suicide for every 5 suicides is committed by a Housewife.  41.1% of suicide victims were self employed while only 7.5% were un-employed.  Government servants were merely 1.4% of the total suicide victims.  West Bengal (11.9%), Andhra Pradesh (11.8%), Tamil Nadu (12.3%), Maharashtra (11.8%) and Karnataka (9.4%) contributed 57.2% of total suicide victims.  West Bengal has reported the highest number of suicide victims (accounting for 11.9%) in 2008 & 2009 and second highest in 2010 (accounting for 11.9%).  Southern States viz. Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Kerala and Tamil Nadu including Maharashtra have accounted for 51.7% of total suicides reported in the country.  Sikkim and Puducherry has reported 45.9 and 45.5 respectively suicidal deaths per one lakh of population as against the National average of 11.4. Cont... ( i x ) SUICIDES  More than (55.9%) children suicide victims belonged to five states – Madhya Pradesh, Andhra Pradesh, West Bengal, Karnataka and Tamil Nadu out of 3,130 suicide victims.  Sikkim reported the highest rate of suicide (45.9) followed by Puducherry (45.5), A & N Islands (36.1), Kerala (24.6) and Chhattisgarh (26.6).  Tamil Nadu has reported significant increase in Suicides (16,561) in 2010 over 2009 (14,424) (an increase of 14.8%) followed by Maharashtra (from 14300 in 2009 to 15916 in 2010).  The highest number of Mass/Family Suicides cases were reported from Bihar (23) followed by Kerala (22) and Madhya Pradesh (21) and Andhra Pradesh (20) out of 109 cases.  33.1% of the suicide victims consumed poison; 31.4% of the victims died by hanging, 8.8% by Fire/Self-Immolation and 6.2% by Drowning. The trend of Suicide by Hanging has been mixed during last 3 years (32.2% in 2008, 31.5% in 2009 and 31.4% in 2010) while Suicide by Poisoning has shown decreasing trend in 2007 and 2008 (34.8% in 2008, 33.6% in 2009 and 33.1% in 2010).  Bengaluru (1,778), Chennai (1,325), Delhi (1,242) and Mumbai (1,192) – the four cities together have reported almost 40.5% of the total suicides reported from 35 mega cities.  Jabalpur has reported the highest rate of 41.5 and Kolkata reported the lowest rate at 2.1 only among 35 cities.  The pattern of suicides reported from 35 cities showed that ‘Hanging’ (44.5%), ‘Poisoning’ (20.6%) and ‘Fire/Self Immolation’ (12.6%) were the prominent means adopted by the suicide victims in the cities.  There is significant increase in number of suicides (136.5%) in Patna (from 63 in 2009 to 149 in 2010) while Dhanbad showed sharp decline of 60.5% (from 152 suicides in 2009 to 60 suicides in 2010).  The suicide rate in cities (12.7) was higher as compared to All-India suicide rate (11.4).

Wales Football Manager Gary Speed commits suicide

2011-11-28T10:29:00.001-08:00

Gary Speed suicide: Police prepare to speak to his grieving widow and teenage sons Tributes pour in from across the sporting world Found by his wife at the family home Flags flying at half-mast at Welsh Assembly building in Cardiff Supporters leave flowers, shirts and scarves outside the grounds where he used to play Inquest will open at Warrington Coroner's Court tomorrow at 3pm Ryan Giggs: 'Words cannot describe how I feel'By Keith Gladdis, James Tozer and Rob CooperLast updated at 6:20 PM on 28th November 2011 Police were today preparing to speak to the grieving widow and the two teenage sons of Gary Speed about his death.The Wales manager's wife found him hanged in the garage of their £1.5million mansion yesterday, The Times reported, hours after he had appeared on the BBC.The world of football was in mourning today following the tragedy as tributes to the 42-year-old retired footballer poured in.The final picture: Gary Speed poses with a fan at the BBC studios in Salford as he recorded Match of the Day. Hours later he was found deadThe final picture: Gary Speed poses with a fan at the BBC studios in Salford as he recorded Match of the Day. Hours later he was found deadA spokesman for Cheshire Police said: 'It is a non-suspicious death. As part of the coroner's report they will speak to family members. It is normal procedure.'Speed's family said this afternoon that they had been 'overwhelmed' with messages of support and condolence.Speaking outside the star's Cheshire home, Speed's agent and best man at his wedding, Hayden Evans, said: 'Gary's family would sincerely like to thank all the people that have sent messages of condolence and tributes in what is a very difficult time.'We have been overwhelmed by the support and it really has helped.'We would ask that the family are now given the respect of some privacy to just grieve on their own.'Gary Speed's widow, Louise, 40, was a constant figure of support throughout his career. The Welsh Football Association have promised to support the family and offer them a 'shoulder to cry on' in the coming weeks.Gary Speed, with his wife Louise, earlier this year at Shay Given's Fashion Kicks event held at Lancashire County Cricket ClubGary Speed, with his wife Louise, earlier this year at Shay Given's Fashion Kicks event held at Lancashire County Cricket ClubJust hours before he hanged himself he was photographed posing with a delighted fan outside the BBC studios in Manchester.The Wales manager looked carefree as he allowed fans to take snaps of him after he had appeared on Football Focus.The retired footballer was in good spirits as he walked out of the studios with former teammate Gary McAllister at 2.30pm on Saturday.Supporters of the teams Speed played for were today leaving flowers, shirts and scarves outside their grounds as a mark of respect.At the Welsh Assembly building in Cardiff, flags were flying at half-mast today.Prime Minister David Cameron described Gary Speed's death as 'incredibly moving'.'I was watching Match Of The Day last night and watching people, crowds, absolutely silent and footballers revering his memory,' he said.'I think it has been extremely moving. Obviously here in the north, where he played for so many of the iconic teams, I know he meant an enormous amount to people and people feel very, very sad on his behalf and on his family's behalf.'During Football Focus on BBC1, Speed talked enthusiastically about his team’s improving fortunes and his hopes for success in World Cup qualifying matches next year.Presenter Dan Walker, who spent four hours on and off camera with him, said: ‘He was as bubbly as I’ve known him. He was talking about his kids, how they were really coming on, and talking about playing golf next week.‘Even small things like how he’d just got into Twitter. It’s awful to think someone who was so gifted and so well liked with the rest of his life to look forward to has been cruelly removed. He was in such a good mood about the show and said he’d love to come back before Christmas.’The suspected suicide at the family home in Huntington, on the outskirts of Chester, was reported to police just after 7am. They said there were ‘no suspicious circumstances’.An inquest into the death will open at Warrington Coroner's Court at 3pm tomorrow.Scroll down to see video of his last appearance on Football FocusPaying their respects: Fans at Leeds United's ground Elland Road show their grief at former player Gary Speed's deathPaying their respects: Fans at Leeds United's ground Elland Road show their grief at former player Gary Speed's deathTributes: Hundreds of tributes including photographs, shirts and bouquets of flowers have been left at the Elland Road groundTributes: Hundreds of tributes including photographs, shirts and bouquets of flowers have been left at the Elland Road groundRest in Peace: Mourners leave flowers at Gary Speed's houseA decorated t-shirt is left on the ground as tributes are placed at the Billy Bremner statue outside Elland Road football groundRest in Peace: Mourners leave flowers at Gary Speed's house in Cheshire, left. Right: A decorated T-shirt is left on the ground as tributes are placed at the Billy Bremner statue outside Elland RoadA friend described Speed as a ‘completely devoted dad’ to sons Ed, 14, and 13-year-old Tommy. Both are promising sportsmen. Ed is a footballer and Tommy a keen boxer.The chief-executive of the Welsh Football Association, Jonathan Ford, said they will do whatever they can to help the Speed family over the coming weeks. More... 20 years at the top of his game: The life and times of Gary Speed Gary Speed 1969-2011: A devastating day for football as Wales boss dies at 42 Jamie Redknapp: Athlete, goalscorer and a rival I got to know as a Top Man Giggs leads the tributes to Gary Speed as football is left in shock'I've no understanding of why it happened, I don't know the answer and I don't think we ever will,' he said.'At the moment our thoughts aren't with that - they are with Gary's family. He was a family man, he loved his wife and children.Paying his respects: Former Everton player Graeme Sharp looks at tributes left outside the gates to Goodison ParkPaying his respects: Former Everton player Graeme Sharp looks at tributes left outside the gates to Goodison ParkNever forget: A Newcastle scarf is tied to the entrance to his Cheshire homeNever forget: A Newcastle scarf is tied to the entrance to his Cheshire homeRespects: A book of condolences in memory of Gary Speed is opened at the Football of Wales offices in CardiffRespects: A book of condolences in memory of Gary Speed is opened at the Football of Wales offices in Cardiff'We will do whatever we can to help Louise and the boys although I am not sure we can help.'We will just do whatever we think is right at this terrible, terrible time. We got together as a staff this morning and went into a huddle and cried. All I can offer is a shoulder to cry on.'It was just a year ago we were announcing him as a manager he was sat next to me and now he is no longer here.'Gary was our number one choice for the job because of who he was and what he was like as an individual.'A book of remembrance was opened at the FAW headquarters in Cardiff yesterday and hundreds queued up to sign it.Speed's assistant manager Raymond Verheijen said his boss was 'adored' by Wales stars such as Gareth Bale, Craig Bellamy and Aaron Ramsey.He said: 'I remember him as a beautiful person, a very stable person full of energy.'Every time he stepped into a room he energised the place. You could see the players adored him. They really looked up to him.'He was the perfect example of practise what you preach and the players really followed him.'When we sat down with one player for individual talks you could how open the players were to listen to his advice.'Robbie Savage, who played alongside Speed for Wales, said his former teammate had been ribbing him on Saturday about his appearance on Strictly Come Dancing.‘I just can’t believe it,’ said Savage. ‘He was my mate and he’s gone. I’ve got very close to Gary in the last few years – the guy is a trooper, he’s left two gorgeous kids behind and a beautiful wife. He had everything.Players and fans held a minute's silence in memory of the Wales manager before the match between Swansea City and Aston VillaPlayers and fans held a minute's silence in memory of the Wales manager before the match between Swansea City and Aston VillaRespect: The Kop falls silent as Manchester City and Liverpool players pay their respects to Gary Speed before their Premier League match yesterdayRespect: The Kop falls silent as Manchester City and Liverpool players pay their respects to Gary Speed before their Premier League match yesterdayFOOTBALL STARS PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO SPEED ON TWITTERGary Speed's former teammates and opponents have been paying tribute to him after he was discovered dead yesterday.Rio Ferdinand tweeted: 'RIP Gary Speed - a great professional. Never knew him but seemed a real decent fella. Thoughts go out to the family at a devastating time. 'Joey Barton said: 'Really felt for Shay Given there. Know he was really close to Speedo. Very emotional that, true professional, its what GS would of wanted.'Stan Collymore wrote: 'Sincere condolences from my family to Mr & Mrs Speed and Gary's 2 boys. Frightened and confused as I'm sure many are right now.'Lee Dixon tweeted: 'In the States. Heard the tragic news very late. Totally shocking. A true Pro. A pleasure to be in his company. Thoughts to Gary's family.'Tom Huddlestone wrote: 'RIP Gary Speed!! Thoughts to his family and friends!! 1st shirt I swapped in the premier league, when he was at bolton £perspective Don't take things for granted!! RIP Gary Speed.'Micah Richards said: 'R.I.P gary speed!!! A true legend!!!'Mark Bright tweeted: 'Today feels like one huge nightmare, can't process Gary Speed's death, 42yrs old, his job going well, couple young kids, seems so wrong.'Boy George tweeted: 'Shocking about Gary Speed! What a sad story! My thoughts and prayers to his loved ones!'Comedian John Bishop tweeted: 'Enjoyed the day at the match but the Gary Speed news really does put it in perspective. God bless to him and his family.'‘I spoke to him yesterday and we were laughing and joking – he was saying make sure you don’t get a (mark of) two off Craig (Revel Horwood, the Strictly judge) tonight. That’s what Gary’s like – he always thinks about other people.‘As my captain when I was a young boy in the squad, he’d come to me and I could go to him with my problems.’Speed’s former Newcastle United teammate Shay Given, who attended a charity fundraising fashion event with him in May, was seen in floods of tears on television as a minute’s silence was held at Swansea City’s match against Given’s team Aston Villa.Thousands of fans sang Welsh hymns and joined in the chant ‘there’s only one Gary Speed’.At Anfield, Liverpool’s Welsh star Craig Bellamy asked not to play against Manchester City after hearing the news.Speed, who was awarded an MBE in the 2010 Birthday Honours, retired from playing only last year after winning 85 caps for his country.He represented Leeds United, Everton, Newcastle and Bolton Wanderers during his long career.Both Speed’s parents were from Chester but he was born in the Welsh border town of Mancot and was always proud to represent his country. His father Roger played football for Wrexham before returning to his trade as a joiner.Speed made his league debut for Leeds United in May 1989 and was a member of the team which went on to win the league title in 1992.He was a familiar face in his home village and at the Grosvenor Arms pub in nearby Aldford.Neighbour Stephen Smith, 36, said: ‘It is such a shock. I’m an Everton season ticket holder and shouted his name from the terraces at Goodison Park.’Helen Hewitt, who has a cottage near Speed’s mansion, said: ‘I cannot believe it. He was such a lovely man.‘Parcels would be delivered for him here and he would come and collect them.‘He would always wave from his big, black Jaguar car.’Despite having limited experience as a manager, Gary Speed’s impact on the Welsh national team had been dramatic.Pundit: Gary appearing on Football Focus with Gary McAllister hours before he was found dead. The Welsh national manager had appeared happy and optimisticPundit: Gary appearing on Football Focus with Gary McAllister hours before he was found dead. The Welsh national manager had appeared happy and optimisticOn the touchline: Former Wales manager Gary SpeedTragic Gary Speed receiving his MBE from Prince Charles in December last yearTragic Gary Speed receiving his MBE from Prince Charles in December last year (right) and on the touchline for Wales (left)Gary Speed during the preliminary draw for the 2014 Fifa World Cup at Marina Da Gloria in JulyGary Speed during the preliminary draw for the 2014 Fifa World Cup at Marina Da Gloria in JulyHe had a keen interest in sports psychology and after taking over from John Toshack a year ago was able to get the best out of young players such as Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey and Tottenham’s Gareth Bale.Ramsey tweeted: ‘I was given the tragic news this morning.‘To say I am devastated is an understatement.‘My thoughts and prayers go out to Gary’s family and friends. Today the world has lost a great football manager but even more sadly a great man. He will be missed by all.’Former Wales manager Mark Hughes said: ‘I’m devastated. He was a privilege to work alongside and call a friend. My thoughts are with his family.’Another ex-Wales boss, Bobby Gould, chose Speed to be the team captain.Gary Speed's former agent and best man Hayden Evans addresses the press outside Speed's home in Chester. He asks that the family be left alone to grieve for their lossGary Speed's former agent and best man Hayden Evans addresses the press outside Speed's home in Chester. He asks that the family be left alone to grieve for their lossTragedy: Chief executive of the Football Association of Wales Jonathan Ford and President of the Football Association of Wales, Phil Pritchard, tell a press conference they will be supporting Gary Speed's family in the coming daysTragedy: Chief executive of the Football Association of Wales Jonathan Ford and President of the Football Association of Wales, Phil Pritchard, tell a press conference they will be supporting Gary Speed's family in the coming daysSadness: Speed's friend Shay Given couldn't hide his emotions before Aston Villa's game against SwanseaHugo Viana pays his respects to former team mate Gary SpeedDistraught: Aston Villa goalkeeper Shay Given, left, who played with Speed at Newcastle, burst into tears before his side's game against Swansea yesterday. Right, Hugo Viana, another former Newcastle teammate who now plays in Portugal, pays his respectsFormer Wales teammate Robbie Savage speaking about the death of Gary Speed on BBC NewsFormer Wales teammate Robbie Savage speaking about the death of Gary Speed on BBC NewsMr Speed's family home at Huntington Hall in Cheshire, where he was found dead at the age of 42Mr Speed's family home in Cheshire, where he was found dead at the age of 42In mourning: Huntington Hall in Cheshire, where Mr Speed lived with his wife Louise and two childrenIn mourning: The home where Mr Speed lived with his wife Louise and two teenage childrenRespect: A note left on a Wales shirt outside Cardiff City's stadiumRespect: A note left on a Wales shirt outside Cardiff City's stadiumHe said: ‘I’m stunned and a few tears have been shed. It is so sad.‘He was a great pro. He would play anywhere for you – left back, left wing, centre of midfield, wide left. It’s such a tragedy.‘People are just stunned. I saw (Welsh footballer) John Hartson earlier and I said, “Have you heard about Gary?”. The big man just cried and cried. We cuddled each other.’Manchester United and Wales footballer Ryan Giggs said: ‘Gary Speed was one of the nicest men in football and someone I am honoured to call a teammate and friend. Words cannot begin to describe how sad I feel at hearing this awful news.’A Downing Street spokesman said: ‘The Prime Minister was deeply saddened to hear of the death of Gary Speed, who was greatly respected by football fans across the country both as a player and manager.‘The Prime Minister’s thoughts are with his family and friends on this very sad day for fans everywhere, especially in Wales.’Labour leader Ed Miliband tweeted: ‘Tragic and shocking news about Gary Speed. Fantastic servant of Leeds. Mourned by football. Deepest condolences to his family.’Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish, who signed Speed when he was manager of Newcastle, said that it had been difficult to concentrate on his side’s match with Manchester City yesterday afternoon.But he added: ‘I think it would be disrespectful to Gary if we didn’t get on with the game so we’ve just got to try and get on with it as best we can.‘He was a very respected man in and around football, not only for his ability but for the guy as a person.’For confidential support call Aasra on 91-22-27546669, www.aasra.info or the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or visit a local Samaritans branch - see www.samaritans.org for detailsCardiff City: A couple embrace as they look at tributes to Wales manager Gary Speed left outside Cardiff's groundCardiff City: A couple embrace as they look at tributes to Wales manager Gary Speed left outside Cardiff's groundEverton: Tributes are left to Wales football manager Gary Speed on the gates of Goodison Park stadiumEverton: Tributes are left to Wales football manager Gary Speed on the gates of Goodison Park stadiumSheffield United: Fans leave tributes outside their Bramall Lane ground. Gary Speed was the Sheffield United caretaker manager last season and he also played for themSheffield United: Fans leave tributes outside their Bramall Lane ground. Gary Speed was the Sheffield United caretaker manager last season and he also played for themNewcastle fans pay their respects at St James' Park following the sudden death of former midfield player Gary Speed who was found dead at his homeNewcastle United: Fans pay their respects at St James' Park following the sudden death of former midfield player Gary Speed who was found dead at his homeRespects: A huge pile of flowers, shirts, teddies, scarves and cards builds up at Leeds United's ground Elland Road today as fans pay tribute to Gary Speed. He was in the side that won the Football League in 1992Leeds United: A huge pile of flowers, shirts, teddies, scarves and cards builds up at Leeds United's ground Elland Road today as fans pay tribute to Gary Speed. He was in the side that won the Football League in 1992Happy memories: Gary Speed (centre) celebrates Leeds United winning the Championship trophy in 1992Happy memories: Mr Speed (centre) celebrates Leeds United winning the Championship trophy in 1992Patriotic: Gary Speed flies the flag of his country at a Football Association of Wales press conferencePatriotic: Flying the flag at a Football Association of Wales press conferenceGARY SPEED'S ILLUSTRIOUS CAREERGary Speed married wife Louise in 1996. The couple have two children Tommy and Ed.A keen Everton fan, as a youngster Speed attended Hawarden High School.He began his professional career with Leeds United making his debut at the age of 19, alongside Gordon Strachan, Gary McAllister and David Batty.Gary Speed, who was found dead at his home today, playing for EvertonGary Speed, who was found dead at his home today, playing for Leeds UnitedGary Speed in his playing days turning out for Everton (left) and Leeds UnitedMr Speed, playing as captain of Newcastle United, celebrates scoring against Wimbledon at St James's ParkGary Speed appearing for WalesMr Speed, playing as captain of Newcastle United, celebrates scoring against Wimbledon at St James's Park (left) and appearing for WalesHe then moved to Everton in 1996 for a fee of £3.5million captaining the club before moving to Newcastle in 1998 for £5.5million.He then went to Bolton Wanderers in 2004 where in 2006 he became the first player in history to make 500 appearances in the Premiership.He moved to Sheffield United making his debut on New Years Day 2008 but a back injury that November forced him to retire as a player.During his international career he played in the Wales side of Ian Rush, Mark Hughes, Neville Southall and Dean Saunders.He captained Wales until hid retirement from international football in 2004. He has been capped for Wales 85 times making him the most capped outfield player.Appointed an MBE in the 2010 Birthday Honours.A year ago he took his first steps into management when he was put in charge of Sheffield United following the sacking of Kevin Blackwell.However, just three months later he was appointed manager of Wales and had overseen a renaissance in Welsh football.They thumped Norway 4-1 earlier this month and they had recently jumped to 45th place in the world rankings - just weeks after they had been in 117th place. wow @ all the armchair psychiatrists in here...please cite any credible source that says he had/suffered from depression? you can't cos there isn't one...your all just speculating on what you THINK his reasons were....perfectly sane people are just as likely to commit suicide as depressed/mentally ill people are....believe it or not (you probably wont but there you go...)- your having a laugh, sometimes i wonder, 28/11/2011 17:56Click to rate Rating 2Report abusefarewell and god bless. RIP Gary Speed- Mark Pendergast, Dubai, 28/11/2011 17:54Click to rate Rating 2Report abuseRIP Gary Extremely sad sometimes people think they are putting the people around them through hell when suffering from any mental illness so it may seem at the time better for the people around them to not be around also what seems madness to the majority makes sense to a minority Really sad he must have been rock bottom RIP- giraffe, Staffordshire, 28/11/2011 17:45Click to rate Rating 17Report abuseNot everyone who commits suicide has depression as many are assuming. Somethimes a one off incident triggers it.- Louise Birchall, Rochdale, 28/11/2011 17:41Click to rate Rating 23Report abuseVery sad news. This would be awful at any time, but to come so close to Christmas, which is a time when most families are united, makes this doubly hard. Sincere condolences to his family.- Katie, Berlin, Germany, 28/11/2011 17:39Click to rate Rating 18Report abuseI'm absolutely gutted. Gary was a footballing great. One of the best headers of a ball in the game and a true gentleman. My thoughts are with his family and friends at this terrible time.- jeff, mansfield, england, 28/11/2011 17:39Click to rate Rating 12Report abuseThe tributes and the massive outpouring of grief just shows to me how highly this man was regarded, not only in the world of football, but as a person. God Bless You Gary Speed, you are at peace now.- liz, Hants, 28/11/2011 17:34Click to rate Rating 24Report abuseHe obviously wasn't aware that so many people would be devastated by his death. I hope that this encourages anyone else who may be in the same dark place that he was. You may think that your dying will have no effect on anyone or anything but please see that many, many people will be forever asking themselves if they could have done or said anything that would have helped. Please just talk to one person before taking that step. If only he could have found the strength to either talk, or pick up the phone, to just one of these people whose hearts have now been broken.- beth, London, 28/11/2011 17:29Click to rate Rating 31Report abuseI had the pleasure of watching Gary Speed as a Leeds season ticket holder during his time at the club. One of my big heroes as a kid. He made up one quarter of one of the best midfields our club has ever seen. He will never be forgotten. RIP.- Michael, Leeds, 28/11/2011 17:29Click to rate Rating 11Report abuseIt is so sad when things like these happen, but we just have to pray for his family and hopefully they will learn to live with it because something like this nobody can really get over- Karlia, Jamaica, 28/11/2011 17:28Click to rate Rating 10

Gary Speed suicide: Police prepare to speak to his grieving widow and teenage sons Happily posing up with a fan: Last picture of Gary Speed just hours before he hanged himself

Using Philoosophy to combat suicide

2011-11-28T10:22:00.001-08:00

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/tabloid/all-rounders/using-philosophy-combat-suicide-057#.TtN8CR9o57x.facebookUsing philosophy to combat suicide June 8, 2011 By Cris Seetha K.C. Eldho may look like a typical lawyer engrossed in his work, sitting at his office in Ernakulam.But for years, he has been concerned about a disturbing subject — suicide. And Kerala’s alarming suicide rates have only worsened his worries. He pondered over one question — why?On one of those unhappy days when his work didn’t let him contribute more to this concern, Eldho came across a newspaper ad calling for volunteers to work with Mythri, the local wing of ‘Samaritans’, an international suicide prevention group. There he learnt the concept of ‘befriending’.He says: “I realised that most often, suicides are well-designed, planned and executed, not spur-of-the-moment actions. They may have their own justifiable reasons, and not have anyone they could speak to.”The Mythri volunteers devoted themselves to listening to the problems of depressed souls on the verge of suicide. The callers needn’t give any personal details, they can directly plunge into their worries. Eldho talked to scores of people, helping them unburden their fears and tensions.Even as he derived satisfaction in helping in a small way, Eldho continued to read and research on suicide. Soon after the September 11 attacks of 2001, his thoughts focussed on suicide terrorists.“They are all well educated people. So why are they doing it? They gain nothing out of it because they die. They are also financially sound, so it is not for money or for their families. I formed a hypothesis based on a theory by Gideon Rosen, professor of philosophy — that cases of action out of ignorance are not blameworthy, there is a possibility of blameless ignorance. I expanded the theory to include suicide terrorists. If you are not culpable for an act out of ignorance and your ignorance is not culpable, then your action is not culpable.”Eldho brings in various examples to explain his theory. “Sathi, at the time it was practiced, was considered right by everyone. It is only later we realised it is wrong. So then can we blame those who urged a widow to commit suicide, thinking it was the right thing to do?”Applying the theory to suicide terrorists, he says: “Indoctrination and brainwash are used on the victims for religious reasons (Jihad), cause of the land (LTTE) and so on.”He went on to apply to the Manchester University to put his hypothesis to test, and in a year, completed his Master of Research course (equivalent to M Phil). Coming back, he put his thoughts and theories in a book, Are Suicide Terrorists Culpable, which was released recently in Ernakulam.The book includes his thesis paper at the Manchester verbatim and also ‘the way forward’ — philosophy as a compulsory subject in the educational curriculum to prevent suicide terrorism.

Irresponsible suicide reporting and rate of incidence Dr Prabha Chandra - professor of psychiatry, NIMHANS, Bangalore

2011-11-27T00:42:00.001-08:00

Irresponsible suicide reporting and rate of incidenceDr Prabha Chandra - professor of psychiatry, NIMHANS, Bangalore http://www.deccanherald.com/content/207174/irresponsible-suicide-reporting-rate-incidence.html Who can claim not to be touched by lives that are lost to suicide or not be perturbed by the increasing and prominent reports of suicide that one reads almost daily in newspapers?Suicide prevention involves cooperation and collaboration between mental health professionals, parents, school and college teachers, policy makers, the police and of course the media.While we examine the various social reasons why suicide is becoming an increasing problem in society, let us also examine what the media can do to help? The media has been known to have an important role because of a phenomenon called the `Werther effect’ or suicide by imitation.Werther was the tragic hero of a 1774 Goethe novel—Die Leiden des jungen Werthers—The Sorrows of Young Werther. The hero eventually ends his life because of a girl. Soon after the novel’s publication, many young men imitated this suicide following similar life situations and the book had to be banned! Subsequently suicides that happen due to social learning and imitation have been attributed to the Werther effect. Research from across the world has shown that suicides may happen due to social learning and imitation.The World Health Organisation has published clear guidelines on responsible reporting of suicides by the media. Across the country every year there are workshops and symposia held on the topic but somehow, most times, at least in India the media appears to prefer sensationalism to sensitivity and support.Research evidence indicates that inappropriate media reporting of suicide is linked to increased rates of actual suicide. What constitutes inappropriate reporting? Extensive coverage of suicides, prominent items placed on the first few pages of newspapers and articles in which the method of suicide is explicitly detailed should be avoided.The more detailed the description, the higher the chances that vulnerable people, particularly the youth and adolescents are likely to identify with the person. A detailed description of the method, contents of the suicide note and relating life problems to suicide should never be done in suicide reports.Complex circumstancesAlmost always a suicidal attempt happens due to complex circumstances. Attributing it to a common life event is not just extremely simplistic, it is also very risky. While the act may follow a particular incident, there are usually several causes which interact with each other leading to it including preexisting but unrecognised mental health problems. The risk lies in over simplifying the reasons and hence making vulnerable individuals to identify with the circumstances and enhancing chances of copycat suicides. People may also see suicide as a glamorous ending — with youth getting a lot of attention and sympathy.Reporting two or more suicides in a day, also known as high suicide density reporting should also be avoided. Repeated similarities among reported attempts, especially when suicide is related to a particular demographic- such as age, occupation or life circumstances also have the risk of triggering similar thoughts in people who are at risk.The media must understand that there are many vulnerable people out there who are reading their newspaper and viewing their TV channels. Many people are grappling with life’s’ problems and looking for solutions. It is these people who are known to be most affected by media reports.In particular, research has found that media coverage may encourage suicidal behavior in vulnerable children, and that the impact of suicide stories on subsequent completed suicides is greatest for adolescents. Reporting guidelines have been developed for suicides among young people in India by SNEHA an NGO in Chennai and the document even questions whether attempts by children and adolescents need to be reported at all. Interestingly most workshops on suicide that are organised for the media are attended by health reporters while the actual reporting is done by the crime reporters. Another ironical fact and another opportunity lost!Positive and responsible reporting can actually save lives. Research identifies that the way suicide is reported can reduce suicide rates. Reporting that describes suicide as being a tragic waste and an avoidable loss, and focuses on the devastating impact of the act on others, has been linked to reduced rates of suicide.Having a helpline number at the end of report encourages help seeking. An ecological study to identify associations between media item content and short-term changes in suicide rates was recently published in the British Journal of Psychiatry. An analysis of nearly 500 media reports of suicide over six months and its relationship to suicide rates in the community were studied. Explicit and elaborate content of the media item and repetitive reporting of the same attempt were related to increasing suicide rates. However, they also noted that coverage of positive coping in adverse circumstances and reports about `mastery in a crisis’ or finding solutions to problems, actually decreased suicide rates.Civil society, parents, teachers and professionals must constantly question whether a suicide report is really needed. Several newspapers across the world have developed their own code of ethics about reporting of sensitive topics such as suicide. Journalists and editors of Indian newspapers should spend some time on self reflection-do we really need to report this suicide, what impact will it have on the vulnerable people who are reading it? Am I following the guidelines for responsible reporting, or are there chances that my reporting may cause another precious life to be lost?

22 Reasons Never to Give Up

2011-11-22T01:04:00.001-08:00

22 Reasons To Never Give UpWritten by Diggy - 112 CommentsCategories: self improvementnever give upAt some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-through that we have been putting so much effort in to achieve.I have created this list of 22 reasons why you should never give up and I hope that you will find it before you give up, so that I can inspire you to keep going!1- As Long As You Are Alive Anything Is PossibleThe only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and healthy and free) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed.2- Be RealisticThe chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost non-existent. Everything takes time to learn and you will make mistakes. Learn from them.3- Michael JordanArguably the best basketball player of all time. He attributes his success to all his failures. He just never gave up even when he knew he had missed over 300 shots and had missed the winning shot of the game many times. Every time he got knocked down he got back up again.4- Lance ArmstrongLance was diagnosed with serious cancer that had spread throughout his entire body. He had cancer cells the size of golf balls in his lungs. Despite all odds he overcame the cancer and set out to win the Tour de France 6 Consecutive years in a row.5- Muhammad Ali“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee”. Muhammad Ali is one of the best boxers the world has ever known. He suffered only 5 losses while having 56 wins and was the first boxer to win the lineal heavyweight championship three times. This is a guy who literally knows how to get knocked down and get back up.6- The Man Who Created The MarathonVery long ago an Athenian herald was sent to Sparta to get help when the Persians landed in Greece. It was said that he ran 240km in 2 days and after that he ran 40km to announce the victory of the Greeks only to collapse and die on the spot from exhaustion. If you ever feel like things are difficult, imagine what it would be like to run 240km in 2 days. (Don’t try that because you might die from it, but use it as an inspiration).7- Chris Gardner – The Pursuit of HappinessHave you seen the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”? It is based on the life story of Chris Gardener, a man who went for the lowest of the lows in an environment where most people would give up (no money, no job) to the highest of the highs (A millionaire with his own investment firm). If you ever think about giving up, watch this movie!8- Kanye WestI’m pretty sure you have heard of the rapper Kanye West. Read his story. He is a big inspiration for me and proves that you can go from having very little to being among the most famous and respected people in the world.9- Nelson MandelaCampaigned for justice and freedom in his South Africa. Spent 20 years in jail for his opposition to apartheid. On release he healed the wounds of apartheid by his magnanimous attitude toward his former political enemies.10- You Are StrongYou are stronger than you think. One little setback is not enough to stop you from achieving your goals. Neither are 10 or 100 or 1000 setbacks.11- Prove YourselfYou don’t want to be known as someone that is weak and gives up. Go out there and prove yourself to the world and to yourself. You CAN and WILL achieve what you set out to do. The only time you fail is when you give up.12- Has It Been Done Before?If someone else can do it then so can you. Even if it is only one other person in the world that has achieved what you have set out to achieve, that should be reason enough for you to never give up.13- Believe In Your DreamsDon’t sell yourself short. In life there are going to be many people who will try to bring you down and tell you what you want to achieve is not possible. Don’t let anyone destroy your dreams.14- Your Family and Friends.Let the people you love and who mean the world to you be your inspiration to persist and persevere. Maybe you need to try a different angle, study more or practice more but don’t give up!15- Because I Tell You To.Not that I am any sort of guru or Godly figure, but if you want to give up then don’t. Just because I’m telling you not to.16- There Are People Worse-OffRight now there are many people who are in a worse situation and environment than you are right now. Are you thinking about giving up running 5 miles a week? Think about the people who are unable to even walk and how much they would give to be able to run 5 miles every day.17- Improve Our WorldWhen you achieve whatever you set out to achieve you can use your success to make a difference to the world or other peoples lives.18- Get Rich or Die TryingLike Fiddy (50 cent) says, “Get rich or die trying”. 50 Cent is rich, he made it (although he did get shot 9 times). Face your fears and don’t take the easy way out by giving up.19- Let The Haters HateThere will always be haters. There will always be plenty of naysayers and people who try to tear you down. Don’t pay attention to them and don’t take what they say to heart. Let the haters hate and you keep believing in yourself.20- You Deserve To Be HappyDon’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have success. Keep that mindset and never give up until you reach your destination!21- Inspire OthersBe an inspiration to others by refusing to give up. Who knows what someone else can achieve because you never gave up and in turn inspired them not to give up.22- You Are So CloseOften when you feel like you want to give up and you are about to give up you are so close to making a huge break-thru. Seth Godin has written an awesome book about this called “The Dip” – a riveting read that teaches that at any given time you are always just a heartbeat away from success.P.S. NEVER GIVE UP!

Telegraph article with Aasra mentioned.

2011-11-20T08:25:00.001-08:00

http://www.telegraphindia.com/1111120/jsp/7days/story_14775308.jspWedlock to hemlockIn India, one married man commits suicide every nine minutes — versus one married woman taking her life almost every 17 minutes — thanks to work pressures, an inability to tackle sorrow and laws that favour women, says Sonia SarkarThe words were ominous. “The growing differences with my wife have become unbearable. It is better to end my life,” Amit Bhaskar told a Mumbai-based suicide help- line, run by non-government organisation Aasra, before he was found dead in his bedroom. A glass with the dregs of sleeping pills was found by his side.(This is totally erroneous information. The case is fictitious. Aasra has never had a caller committing suicide)Bhaskar is one of 61,453 married men in India who committed suicide last year. In India, one married man commits suicide every nine minutes, as opposed to one married woman taking her life almost every 17 minutes.Recent data revealed by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) on suicides in 2010 show that almost 76 per cent of the total number of men who committed suicide were married. The number of suicides among married men was almost double that of married women, 31,754 of whom took their lives in 2010.“Out of 25 calls that we receive a day, at least seven are from distressed husbands, as opposed to three or four from troubled wives,” says Johnson Thomas, director of Aasra. “We come across at least five such cases every month,” adds Dr Jai Ranjan Ram, psychiatrist at Calcutta’s Apollo Gleneagles.Doctors also testify to the rise in the numbers of husbands committing suicide in recent years. “In a month, we come across about 40 suicide cases, out of which 50 per cent are invariably married men. The number was lower by 10 per cent five years ago,” says the head of psychiatry at Mumbai’s KEM Hospital, Dr Shubhangi Parkar, who’s conducted a joint study on suicides.Mumbai-based Shekhar Aggarwal, 31, was one such patient whom the counsellors could not save. Aggarwal was in love with an old sweetheart who was forced by her parents to marry another man. Aggarwal got married too, but was not happy. For a couple of weeks he talked about death with his counsellors, who tried to help him battle depression. But nothing helped — and Aggarwal one day hanged himself

Though the NCRB has not revealed the socio-economic class of the married men, experts point out that the trend is common to all classes. The reasons, however, are different. “For lower middle-class men, addiction to alcohol and debt are the common reasons for suicide. For the middle and upper middle-class, family dispute and loss of money in gambling or horse racing are often the cause,” says a senior official at CID (Crime), Maharashtra, which has the dubious distinction of recording the second highest number of suicides by married men — 8,138 in 2010 — among all states. Andhra Pradesh topped the list with 8,659 cases.Possibly, economic upheavals in recent years — with job losses in many sectors — have taken their toll on married men, who are still the traditional bread earners. The demands of the fast-paced information technology industry are exacting. With the economic slowdown and job losses, depression has been mounting.Not surprisingly, most suicides were committed by men who worked in the private sector. Last year in Bangalore, 366 private sector job holders took their lives versus 232 self-employed and 12 public sector employees. Around 210 men working in private companies in Chennai committed suicide as opposed to 99 self-employed ones and five public sector employees.But clearly there is no one reason why married men take their own lives. The factors differ from case to case, though there are some generalities. In Bangalore, for instance, work pressures often drive men towards suicide, the police say. “Most of these suicides are committed by IT professionals who have a stressful life. There is an imbalance between their personal and work lives, which leads to marital rifts and causes depression,” says Praveen Sood, additional director general (crime records bureau), Bangalore.Men, according to clinical psychologist Manju Mehta of Delhi’s All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), tend to harm themselves when they are not able to cope with stress. “Even emotionally strong men can harm themselves. This is one of their ways to escape pain and suffering,” she says.But why do men outnumber women on the suicide front so starkly? Part of it, psychologists say, is because they find it difficult to tackle sorrow and tend to bottle up depression. “Owing to the social stigma attached to weeping, men don’t cry. Expressing sadness, fear, disappointment or regret is seen as being less acceptable for men than women, who share their problems with others,” says Dr Sujatha Sharma, who runs a marital therapy clinic, Parivartan, in Delhi. “This cultural stereotype is very difficult to shake off. Since women are open to approach, suicides can be averted in their case, unlike in the case of men.”Though married women commit suicide as well, the figures are much lower than that of men. In the past five years, the number of married men taking their lives has gone up by 17 per cent versus 12.6 per cent for married women.“Men often suffer from a prolonged sense of not belonging, of not being integrated in the family. These feelings give rise to a sense of meaninglessness, apathy, melancholy and depression. Conflict in personal relationships, which is quite common these days, adds to the stress,” explains Mehta.Counsellors believe that extra-marital relationships also force men into a corner. “Often, cracks in marriages start showing up when either of the spouses has an extra-marital affair. Men suffer more since their coping strategies are weaker than those of women,” adds Mehta.For K. Srinivas, a 40-year-old IT professional from Chennai, it was his wife’s infidelity that prompted him to take his life. He was married for 10 years, and when he suspected that his wife had a lover he confronted her. But when her affair continued, the father of two daughters took an overdose of sleeping pills. “He felt helpless and debilitated,” says a counsellor.Male suicide is often called “egoistic” suicide by experts. “On many occasions, men contemplating suicide have confessed that their ego doesn’t let them compromise and take the first step needed to fix a problem in a relationship. In such a situation, they also feel a strong sense of failure,” says Dr Parkar.For most Indians, the family is a pivotal force of strength and support. But when things go wrong, it may also be their greatest torment, the experts point out. Failure to meet the high expectations of their partners often goads men into taking extreme steps. “Men become very sensitive about relationships and they feel ashamed of not meeting their partner’s expectations, resulting in a lowering of self-esteem,” says Dr M. Gowri Devi of the Niloufer Hospital in Hyderabad.The changing man-woman equation has also made a dent on the male ego. Andhra Pradesh is a case in point. “With 33 per cent reservation for girls in all colleges, including professional courses, there are more educated women than men in the state. Education is empowering women more and making them independent and perhaps less adjusting. Dissatisfied and frustrated with family life, men see suicide as an option to get over their emotional loss,” says Dr Devi.Associations that espouse the cause of husbands blame pro-women laws for the trend. “For example, there is misuse of section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, under which an uninvestigated complaint by a wife against her husband and his family can land him and the family in jail. Or take the Domestic Violence Act, under which a husband can lose his hard-earned property thanks to a simple complaint of domestic violence, even without a fair trial,” says Niladri Das of male rights group Save Family Foundation.“We want the government to set up a men’s welfare ministry and also a commission for men to look after such cases. It is unfortunate that the pain and suffering of married men are never taken into account when the government designs its welfare policies,” he says.Delhi-based lawyer Meenakshi Lekhi also believes the law can be unfair to men. “In the urban scenario, women can be equally abusive and cruel as men. One cannot ignore the fact that offensive wives often push their husbands into such a corner that they are forced to end their lives,” feels Lekhi.Doctors say that suicides can be avoided if the warning signals are read at an appropriate time. “Nobody commits suicide at the very thought of it. There is a gradual escalation of the feeling that death is a better option. It is for friends and close group associates to keep a tab on the mood swings of the person and also help him vent his frustration and anxiety,”says Dr Ram.Activists have also started awareness campaigns that could help men seek assistance rather than suffer in silence. “Men should speak out,” says Das.

Mentally ill woman in jail for 21 years

2011-11-17T22:51:00.001-08:00

Mentally ill woman in jail for 21 yearsTNN | Nov 18, 2011, 07.35AM ISTCHENNAI: In April this year, Pakka alias Vijaya completed 21 years as an inmate of the special prison for women at Vellore. Sentenced to life term for murder, she is one among countless such convicts in Indian jails. But what makes her case different is that she is speech impaired and the long years in prison have left her mentally ill.Now, Vijaya's plight has been brought to the notice of the Madras high court through a habeas corpus petition filed by advocate P Pugalenthi. Saying that Vijaya, now 53, neither gets medical attention nor counselling in jail, Pugalenthi has sought her premature release.Taking up the petition, a division bench comprising Justice C Nagappan and Justice T Sudanthiram on Thursday issued notice to the state government and adjourned the matter for two weeks.Pugalenthi, who is director of Prisoners Rights Forum, said he came to know about the plight of Vijaya from Nalini Sriharan, who is serving life imprisonment in the Rajiv Gandhi assassination case.According to the petition, Vijaya and her husband Subramani (now 55) were convicted in a murder for gain case and sentenced to undergo imprisonment for life. They were found guilty by a sessions court in Coimbatore of offences such as murder, robbery and dacoity. Vijaya has been in jail since April 10, 1990, and not even relatives visit her, he said.She was suffering without appropriate medical treatment or counseling, the petition said, adding that even her husband lodged in men's prison across the road was highly depressed. Unable to talk, she communicates with others by means of signs, it said.Pugalenthi said he made a representation to the authorities in September, requesting them to consider Vijaya for premature release in accordance with law. In October, the authorities replied that her case would be considered for premature release as per the provisions of a government letter issued in November 1994.As per the rule, Vijaya became eligible for premature release the moment she completed 20 years of imprisonment, Pugalenthi said. "Vijaya completed 20 years of imprisonment on April 10, 2010. It is more than 19 months since she became eligible to be considered for premature release."According to Pugalenthi, Vijaya was a Muslim who married Subramani after a brief love affair. Both were street performers in Coimbatore. On April 4, 1990 the couple murdered a youth from a southern district after he tried to misbehave with Vijaya. The police arrested them and registered a murder case.Though mute, Vijaya mingled with all inmates quite well, Pugalenthi said.

Peter Roebuck, cricket commentator commits suicide

2011-11-14T11:19:00.001-08:00

Sex assault twist in Roebuck suicide14 November 2011 tweet3 Email PrintRELATED CONTENT Wed09NovSouth Africa's FlagSouth Africa vs. Australia's FlagAustralia1st Test - Cape TownResult: South Africa won by 8 wickets Australian team offers condolences to Roebuck's family India will remember Roebuck for his indictment of Australian team Roebuck jumped to his death, sexual assault angle emerges Roebuck's last write-up: 'Mind you, a lot can happen in a week. It just did' Fairfax Media describes iconic writer Roebuck's death as a 'Great shock' Tributes flow for maestro of cricket writing, Peter Roebuck Sydney, November 14, 2011 (AFP) - Renowned cricket writer Peter Roebuck plunged to his death from a hotel window in South Africa after being questioned by police about an alleged sexual assault, his employer said on Monday.The English-born Roebuck, 55 and a former first-class cricketer, was covering the ongoing Test series between South Africa and Australia when he died on Saturday night.South African police confirmed he committed suicide and the Australian newspaper group he worked for, Fairfax Media, said he fell to his death from the Southern Sun Hotel in Cape Town.Roebuck had written on cricket for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age in Melbourne since 1984, and the newspapers said his death followed questioning by police from the sexual crimes unit about an alleged sexual assault.They provided no further details although The Australian newspaper said the allegations involved an incident last week.Fairfax said Roebuck was agitated and asked a fellow cricket journalist for help. "Can you come down to my room quickly? I've got a problem," he said and asked for help to find a lawyer.Minutes later Roebuck, regarded by many as the finest cricket writer of his generation, fell to his death from a window. The Australian said he landed on an awning above the hotel foyer.Fairfax said it was believed a uniformed police officer was in the room at the time. South African police said an inquest had been opened but would not comment further.Roebuck studied law at Cambridge and played 335 first-class matches before becoming an Australian citizen and making a career writing about the sport, quickly establishing an avid following with his forthright, intelligent prose. He also regularly commentated for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.Never far from controversy, he received a suspended prison sentence in England in 2001 for common assault after caning three South African teenage cricketers who had stayed with him in 1999.Former Australia captain Steve Waugh, who played alongside Roebuck at Somerset, led tributes to him. "He was never afraid to tackle the big issues in world cricket and would often be a lone voice if he believed strongly in the cause," Waugh told Fairfax media. "As a captain I would always be keen to read Peter's take on the previous day's play."Mark Taylor, whom Waugh succeeded as captain of Australia in 1999, said Roebuck's opinion was greatly respected as it was based on so much experience. "Not every player, me included, agreed with what he said all the time. We did know it wasn't based on a whim, it was based on a lot of experience," he said.Another former Australian captain, Greg Chappell, highlighted Roebuck's philanthropic work with the charity The LBW Trust - Learning for a Better World. "Something like 250 kids in cricket-playing countries around the world, underprivileged kids, are being educated through the LBW Trust, and that was from his vision," Chappell told the Herald.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Roebuck jumped to his death, sexual assault angle emerges13 November 2011 tweet Email PrintRELATED CONTENT Wed09NovSouth Africa's FlagSouth Africa vs. Australia's FlagAustralia1st Test - Cape TownResult: South Africa won by 8 wickets Peter Roebuck: 'Cricket South Africa has lost a good friend' Australian team offers condolences to Roebuck's family Sex assault twist in Roebuck suicide India will remember Roebuck for his indictment of Australian team Roebuck's last write-up: 'Mind you, a lot can happen in a week. It just did' Fairfax Media describes iconic writer Roebuck's death as a 'Great shock' Tributes flow for maestro of cricket writing, Peter Roebuck (AFP with Y! Cricket Inputs) - Renowned cricket writer Peter Roebuck was found dead at his hotel in South Africa, where he was covering Australia's Test series with the Proteas, his employers said Sunday. The South African police released a statement earlier in the day saying that Roebuck took his own life. He had jumped from the sixth floor of his hotel.Later in the day, it was learnt that there was a sexual assault angle to the case, and that he had been questioned by the police earlier in the day.The Daily Telegraph reports that Roebuck jumped from a window while the police were still in his room."He landed on the awning outside the entrance to the hotel. Police removed personal items from his room and took his body to the mortuary yesterday morning," the newspaper reported.The circumstances of his death were not immediately clear, but the Sydney Morning Herald said he had reportedly been "spoken to by police earlier in the day" and had been seen in an "agitated state" according to the ABC."This office can confirm that an incident occurred last night at about 21:15 at a hotel in Claremont where a 55-year-old British national who worked as an Australian commentator committed suicide," the statement said. "An inquest docket has been opened for investigation."British-born Roebuck, 55, studied law at Cambridge and played 335 first-class matches before making a career writing about the sport, quickly establishing an avid following with his forthright, intelligent prose.He regularly commentated for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation and wrote for the nation's Fairfax newspapers."It is with great shock that we have learnt today that Peter Roebuck has died in Newlands, South Africa," Fairfax chief Greg Hywood said in a statement."Peter was not only an extremely gifted cricket writer for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age, he was also one of Australia's most popular cricket commentators for the ABC," added Hywood."In recent years he built a reputation as one of the best columnists on the sport."Cricket Australia chief James Sutherland expressed shock at the death of Roebuck, a "familiar face" to the Australian cricket team, who had been with the players "only hours before his sudden death". "He spoke his mind frankly and while one didn't necessarily always have to agree, you always respected what he had to say," he added.Craig Norenbergs, head of the ABC's Grandstand sports programme, said it was "incredibly sad news". "He was an integral part of the Grandstand commentary team, apart from being a magnificent print journalist," Norenbergs said."For us he could describe a game of cricket in such a way that even if you didn't like the game, you liked the way that he went about his business."Roebuck, a Wisden Cricketer of the Year in 1988, captained English county side Somerset in the 1980s and turned out regularly for Devon after retiring from top-level cricket in 1991. He played 335 First Class matches, scoring 17,558 runs and takin 72 wickets.He penned several books on the sport and was a sometimes polarising figure known for his strong views and admired as one of cricket's most articulate and incisive minds.Roebuck's father said his son was seen as "odd" in orthodox spheres, "whereas he is merely obscure and oblique." "He is an unconventional loner with an independent outlook on life, an irreverent sense of humour and sometimes a withering tongue," the elder Roebuck said in his son's 2005 autobiography "Sometimes I Forgot to Laugh".In his diary of a season "It Never Rains", Roebuck reflected on how strange it was "that cricket attracts so many insecure men."Roebuck filed a column published just hours before news of his death broke, urging Australia to hold their nerve following the "dumbfounding" events in the first Test against South Africa in which the visitors were shot out for just 47 in their second innings."The team for the first Test against New Zealand has become harder to predict," Roebuck wrote, referring to the upcoming series. "Mind you, a lot can happen in a week. It just did."---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Roebuck's last write-up: 'Mind you, a lot can happen in a week. It just did'13 November 2011 tweet Email PrintCape Town, Nov.13 (ANI): Having acquired an iconic and awesome reputation for his writings on the sport of cricket, it is an irony of sorts and quite bizarre that in his last article before he died Saturday in a hotel room in Cape Town, South Africa, he wrote: "Mind you, a lot can happen in a week. It just did."The article focused primarily on the Australian team's disastrous outing at Newlands, Cape Town against South Africa, and what needed to be done."Australian cricket is lucky that it has a few days of respite between the dumbfounding events at Newlands and its next engagement. The break gives coaches, selectors and captain the breathing space needed to collect their thoughts," said Roebuck."The second Test gives the incumbents an opportunity to redeem themselves and the selectors a chance to study the trends," he added.He also said that there was no point in ditching players in response to public demand, as who knows, the replacements might not be any better, or ready.He predicted that Shaun Marsh would not be playing the Johannesburg Test because of a recurrence of his degenerative back problem, and said Usman Khawaja deserved the opportunity to take his place in the squad.He also describes left-arm fast bowler Mitchell Johnson, as the most frustrating cricketer in the country, someone who bowled without pace or swing at Newlands."Since his inspired bursts in the Ashes Test in Perth he had not taken enough wickets to justify his retention. Nor has he scored enough runs since his blistering 123 in Cape Town 32 months ago to be deemed a handy lower-order batsman. Hopes have been dashed he might lead the attack until the next generation is ready," Roebuck said, a day before his tragic demise.He reveals that the collapse in Cape Town was no fluke."These Australians have been weak against swing because they chase the ball rather than play it under their chin. Some get into poor positions. Apart from technical flaws, the collapses raised even more fundamental issues. How long can Shane Watson continue as a front-line bowler and opening batsman? History provides few instances of a cricketer able to sustain both workloads. The time is ripe to put him in the middle order," said Roebuck.He mentions the technical flaws of opener Phillip Hughes (bat still slides sideways and his shoulders are square); Ponting (missing straight balls because he is hurried and out of position); Brad Haddin (reckless and has a single match to turn around his fortunes) and Johnson (the most likely player to be dropped). (ANI)---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fairfax Media describes iconic writer Roebuck's death as a 'Great shock'13 November 2011 tweet Email PrintSydney, Nov.13 (ANI): Fairfax Media chief executive Greg Hywood on Sunday issued a statement that said the organization was in a state of "great shock" on hearing of the death of iconic cricket journalist Peter Roebuck in South Africa.The statement reads as follows: "It is with great shock that we have learnt today that Peter Roebuck has died in Newlands, South Africa."Peter was not only an extremely gifted cricket writer for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age, he was also one of Australia's most popular cricket commentators for the ABC. In his youth he played for the English county Somerset, then made his home in Australia. In recent years he built a reputation as one of the best columnists on the sport."We extend our commiserations to his family and all who will mourn his passing."Publisher and editor-in-chief of The Sydney Morning Herald and The Sun-Herald, Peter Fray, said: "We are saddened and shocked at this news. Peter was one of the finest cricket writers of his generation. His reporting and commentary were always fair, balanced, and insightful."He will be missed by his colleagues at Fairfax and by his many fans in Australia and around the world."No further comment will be made at this stage. (ANI)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tributes flow for maestro of cricket writing, Peter Roebuck13 November 2011 tweet Email PrintSydney, Nov.13 (ANI): Tributes continue to pour in for the maestro of cricket writing Peter Roebuck, who died in mysterious circumstances on the intervening night of Saturday and Sunday at the age of 55.Former Test spinner and ABC cricket commentator Kerry O'Keeffe said: ''It is one of the saddest days in my life''.He described Roebuck as his radio colleague of 11 years.Roebuck, who wrote for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald, was a man who not only loved the game, but analysed it better than anyone else, O'Keeffe told the ABC's Grandstand programme today.''Nobody cut to the chase more succinctly and nobody saw how the game was and where it was heading better than Peter Roebuck,'' he said."It's the most devastating news for so many out there. That voice. My chuckle is neither here nor there but Peter Roebuck's incisiveness and the way he delivered was the blueprint for our cricket commentary,'' said O'Keeffe who played played against Roebuck, a former captain for English county Somerset, during the 1977 Ashes tour.''I think he played for a combined universities team. He had Coca-Cola bottle glasses and he read thick books, so we didn't have a lot in common,'' the Sydney Morning Herald quoted O'Keeffe, as saying.''He rang me up virtually every week for the last 10 years or so to talk cricket and I used to put the phone down and have a deeper view of it after the conversation," he added.O'Keeffe recalled a story in the commentary box when he, Roebuck and broadcaster Jim Maxwell were filling in time during a rain break leading to the hourly bulletin.''We were talking about IQs and I'd say mine is about in the 60s, I'd think Robey would be about 130, 140, without question,'' O'Keeffe said.''And he'd say, 'I'm not concerned with triviality about IQs, Kerry, let's talk about the cricket'.''And Jim was just wrapping up to take it to the news, Peter would say just before we go to the news, 'Kerry regarding the IQ, a touch conservative'.''O'Keeffe said he loved Roebuck's ''vagueness''. One such example was his reference to pop star Lady Gaga as Lady Baba.O'Keeffe said he loved reading Roebuck's columns in The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.''He'd say, did you see the little dig I had in paragraph 42? And it was so subtle I didn't pick it up,'' O'Keeffe said.''The audience will miss him but I think his fellow broadcasters will miss him more.''ews of Roebuck's death echoed across web."My God. Just heard about Peter Roebuck. Loved working with him. Incisive. Erudite. Funny, " wrote Jonathan Agnew, BBC cricket commentator and former England bowler."Shocking and sad news about Peter Roebuck. One of the two or three best writers on cricket in the world," said John Stern, former editor of The Wisden Cricketer.Lawrence Booth, editor of the Wisden Almanack said: ''Cricket has lost one hell of an intellect and a bloke who cared deeply about the game. I always read Peter Roebuck with complete admiration.''Indian cricket journalist Harsha Bhogle tweeted: "peter roebuck was meant to write about cricket in the manner sachin tendulkar was born to play it"."Peter was not only an extremely gifted cricket writer for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age, he was also one of Australia's most popular cricket commentators for the ABC," he Fairfax CEO Greg Hywood in a message to staff."In recent years he built a reputation as one of the best columnists on the sport." (ANI)

Communication from Mela south Asian Coordinator for Befrienders Worldwide

2011-11-14T11:15:00.001-08:00

We are working towards making BW a Networking organization. In short, ‘connecting together’- Building a network connecting with all centres around the globe.Engagement- to make sure that BW Networking members feel included/connecting and supporting each other.More credibility- Making sure we work with Recognized and Respected Organizations world wide.Training- BW will offer excellent training by volunteers who excel in this field in our regions.Consistency – We will work towards consistency, offering training materiel of the highest standard, distributing relevant information that helps to improve skills and knowledge among all Networking centres.We have thought of Task Forces that are of the highest priority at present.1. Website Task Force.2.Twinning Task Force.3. Fundraising Task force.4. Communication Task Force.Clearly having the BW Website up and running would take first place in the list of ‘highest priorities’.Twinning Task Force- We will aspire to be far more effective- Bringing together centres in all Regions. Having closer ties/ sharing knowledge/ problem. Issues etc.thus making centres feel they are a part of the BW family.Fundraising- We would be looking for volunteers in our Regions who have the expertise of coming up with innovative ideas of approaching would be donors. Members of this Task Force do not necessarily have to bring in donors. However, if they do it would be a huge bonus. We still need volunteers to join the Fundraising TF. If you think you would like to share your expertise on how to get donations please contact me.Communication Task Force- to develop a communications strategy that ensures every volunteer in a centre receives information from the network, whether it is from the regional coordinators, trustees, secretary general or other centres.Forming other Task Forces is in the pipeline.A BW Board of Trustees will be set up – a selection panel and a selection of criteria for Board members has been established.Once the new Board of Trustees has been identified the BWSG will no longer exist and the members will revert back to their previous designation as ‘Regional Coordinators’. “If you always do what you always did, You will always get what you always got, If you want something different then think differently! That’s exactly what BW is doing- Having a whole new concept of launching into an exciting and invigorating future.With my warmest wishes, Mela. (Regional Coordinator for South Asia.) Response from Johnson ,Director Aasra Mela,Looks like you all had a very fruitful meeting and the formal agenda for the future looks impressive and I am sure will work out best for all the centers and volunteersI am all for turning BW into a networking organisation and think it's also important to network with centers doing similar work even if they may not be befriending centers.Inclusion is important and helping centers to work around their individual problems while connecting and supporting each other makes a lot of sense.Recognition and credibility are vital for growth and it's great that BW will be focusing on working with recognised and respected organisations worldwide.Forming a training core-group in every region would help in spreading the good work to all corners of the globe.Consistency in Training and training material updates would help all centers within the network to keep up with global standards.Task force for Website, twinning, fundraising and commuication are very essential and I am sure all centers around the globe will benefit from it.Thanks for the detailed email,Looking forward to hearing more on this front.Johnson ThomasAasraNavi Mumbaiwww.aasra.infoaasrasuicideprevention.blogspot.comwww.facebook.com/aasrasuicidepreventionMob: 9820466726

Worrying rise of suicides in the country

2011-11-11T06:55:00.001-08:00

India has been seeing a worrying rise in suicides. Statistics show every 10 minutes, someone in the country is taking their own life."I always remember this line from my favourite Rocky series - it's not about how hard you get hit, it's about how hard you get hit but keep moving," 18-year old Rashmi said.Rashmi comes across as any other 18-year old. It is hard to believe that she attempted suicide twice in the past year."I had the knife at my throat and I sat down thinking to do it or not," Rashmi said.The reasons that led her to such an extreme step seem fairly common.Explaining the reasons, Rashmi said, "I changed school, it was difficult to settle in. Then I had issues with my parents, they drove me up too hard to study and then just two years ago, I had broken a relation with a long time friend."What seems like a common problem can act as a trigger, given underlying depression. Disturbingly, young suicides and attempts to suicide are on the rise. The National Crime Records Bureau reports 20 students killed themselves everyday in 2010."The reasons for the rise in suicides may be too much competition, stress and kids don't have the right support systems," doctors say.Suicides rates were the highest in Maharashtra, followed by West Bengal, Delhi and then Mumbai.Rashmi has been in counseling for the past nine months."That moment, just think about what you are doing to the others, the baggage that you are going to leave behind and the guilt and the grief," Rashmi said.If you notice behavioural changes, signs of depression, disturbed sleep, or someone talking about taking their lives, please ensure they get help. Contact the following:Aasra: 022-27546669(24x7)Aasrawww.aasra.infoaasrasuicideprevention.blogspot.comwww.facebook.com/aasrasuicidepreventionemail: aasrahelpline@yahoo.com

state of maharashtra had 2nd most eve-teasing FIRS in 2010, kirsten Dunst says depression caused by career dichotomy

2011-11-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

State had 2nd-most eve-teasing FIRs in 10Many Cases Not Recorded As Police Arent Sensitive To Issue,Say ActivistsMaharashtras conviction rate for sexual harassment cases decided in 2010 pales in comparison to the rates achieved in states like UP (76%),Punjab (52%) or Kerala (30%).According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB),Maharashtra had a poor 5% rate in 2010.Cases of sexual harassment,which include eve-teasing on the streets,are filed under Section 509 of the Indian Penal Code,where the accused is booked for uttering a word or committing a gesture or act that insults the modesty of a woman.Interestingly,Maharashtra saw the second-highest number of FIRs filed for sexual harassment in 2010.Andhra Pradesh had 4,562 FIRs,while Mahrashtra had 1,180.In Mumbai alone,138 FIRs were filed.However activists said this was no indication of actual instances,as most cases are not reported.Incidentally,APs conviction rate in 2010 was way ahead of Maharashtras at 35%.The fact that 1,180 women in Maharashtra suffered eve teasing is itself a very high number.Many cases go unreported and the real numbers are much higher, said Sonya Gill of the All India Democratic Womens Association.The incidence of such crimes is rising.The state must set up a mechanism to tackle the issue in a better manner.Societal and systemic reasons are to blame for the poor reporting and conviction rates.In the Amboli case,it took the friends of the victims over a fortnight to decide to mention eve teasing in their witness statements.Mihir Desai,of the voluntary organisation India Centre for Human Rights and Law,is one of the experts sceptical about other states outdoing Maharashtra by such a huge margin.But he said,Recording and conviction rates of crimes such as eve teasing depends on how sensitive the police are to such incidents.What is perceived as eve teasing by a woman may not be recorded if the cop doesnt perceive it as such.Advocate Flavia Agnes,who works with victims of violence,said fighting sexual harassment is daunting and victims often give up midway.She recalled how two women molested outside a Juhu five-star hotel on New Years eve in 2007 preferred to drop the charges.Also,the public doesnt come forward to be witnesses, said Agnes.The state is waking up to the reality of few convictions.A committee was set up under the joint secretary,home department,in May to look into the trend.There were several factors in other states which aided better conviction rates.For instance,there was better forensic facilities and more liaisons between public prosecutors and the police, said J Supekar of the state CID (crime),who was part of the panel.Judicial pendency in Maharashtra too is higher.Inputs by S Ahmed Ali --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Denied money for booze, man sets wife ablazeKannagi Desai, TNN | Nov 10, 2011, 02.53AM ISTArticleComments (1)Read more:Sadhana|man burns wife|Malwani police|Bhagwati Hospital1MUMBAI: The Malwani police are on the lookout for a 31-year-old man who allegedly set his pregnant wife on fire on Tuesday at their MHB colony home. The incident took place after the victim, Sadhana Sonavane, refused to give her husband, Sunil, money to buy alcohol. Sadhana suffered 90% burns and is undergoing treatement at Bhagwati Hospital. tnn in Borivli. Her husband, Sunil, has been booked on charges of 'attempt to murder.' No arrests have been made yet.Sunil and Sadhana (28) got married three years ago. They stayed at MHB Colony in Malwani and did not have any kids."Sunil was unemployed and an alcoholic. Sadhana worked as a maid at two places and ran the house single-handedly. The couple fought regularly about Sunil's drinking habit and his constant demands for money," said senior inspector Abdul Rauf Shaikh. "On Tuesday, around 8 pm, Sunil got drunk and once again started pestering Sadhana for money. When she refused, he got angry with her. He then emptied a can of kerosene on his wife and struck a match. While she burned, he fled from the house."Neighbours rushed Sadhana to the Bhagwati Hospital at Borivli. "We later learnt that Sadhana was pregnant, but we aren't aware when she was to deliver," a police official said. "She isn't in a condition to speak." Police officials rushed to the couple's home on being informed about the incident. A case has been registered under section 307 of the IPC against Sunil, who is on the run.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Neighbours set man ablaze in front of sisterNitasha Natu, TNN Nov 9, 2011, 03.03AM ISTMUMBAI: A man died of severe burns after three neighbours set him ablaze at a chawl at Seven Bungalows in Andheri (West) on Monday evening.The police said Rehmat Hasan Shah (36) was locked in a dispute with the three over the redevelopment of the chawl. Hours before his killing, he had a spat with them over a petty issue.The police said a complaint about the incident was filed by Shah's sister Noorbanu Shaikh (35), who resides in the same chawl. No arrests have been made yet."It was around 7.30 pm. I was at the door when I suddenly saw this person egged on by two men pour kerosene on my brother outside his chawl room. I rushed out screaming, but the neighbours had locked themselves inside their rooms. I kept knocking on their doors, to no avail. By then my brother was burning." This is what Rehmat Hasan Shah's sister Noorbanu Shaikh told a policeman about his murder on Monday.Shah (36), who died of severe burns in hospital, was a resident of Flower Chawl in Sunderwadi, Seven Bungalows, Andheri (West).The police said that Shaikh in her complaint said Shah did not get along with the three accused--Savio Fernandes, his brother Sayo Fernandes and Sanjay Parab--as they wanted him to sell his chawl room in view of a redevelopment project. The accused, residents of the same chawl, had even approached Shah's mother to persuade him to sell the room, as it belonged to her. But she stood behind her son.Shah, who worked as a chauffeur, lived in the room with his mother, wife and a seven-year-old son from a previous marriage; his first wife went back to her hometown after the couple separated, taking along with her their younger son, now aged four. Shaikh (35) resides in the same chawl, but in a separate room.According to a relative of Shah, he had demanded two flats in the redeveloped building, if his and his sister's rooms were to be demolished. But he was being offered one flat, and so was not keen on the project.On Monday evening, Shah went to Shaikh's room to wish her for Bakri Eid. He had planned to visit other relatives afterwards. On his way out, he saw the three accused hanging around. The men poked fun at Shah for his squint, which angered him. Shaikh immediately intervened and prevented Shah from getting into a fight with the three.Sometime later, around 7.30 pm, finding Shah alone, they set him ablaze. "He sustained 80% burns," Shaikh told the police in her complaint. When she was looking for people to save him, "someone poured water on him and covered him with a blanket. But he succumbed to his injuries, at Cooper Hospital".Shah's nephew told TOI that his assailants had in the past beaten up his relatives. Sunderwadi residents said the three were notorious in the locality. "They are goons. They slap and abuse kids if they want some message to be to conveyed to their parents," said a resident. "They have been creating trouble for those who haven't consented to the redevelopment scheme."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kirsten Dunst: Depression caused by career 'dichotomy'By: Bang ShowbizPosted: 11/8/2011 10:30 AM | Comments: 0 (including replies) 0 1 Share1 Print E–mail Report ErrorKirsten DunstEnlarge ImageKirsten DunstKirsten Dunst claims her depression was caused by the "weird dichotomy" of being an actress.The 'Melancholia' star checked into the Cirque Lodge Treatment Center, in Utah, to be treated for the mental health condition in February 2008 and she claims the pressures of her career caused her problems.Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres asked her: "There is no way to bring up without saying what it . You suffered from depression."To which Kirsten answered: "It's not something I feel like totally comfortable talking about but yeah, it's a very personal thing . I dealt with it. Yeah. That and it's also interesting as an actress you're supposed to be sensitive and vulnerable and have this side to you. But then your supposed to be super sociable and 'on' and like nice to everybody. That's a weird dichotomy. It's a lot to ask of a person. It's not a normal thing."The 29-year-old actress believes it was the right thing for her to do to have treatment and take a break from Hollywood, because she was able to return to her career reinvigorated.Kirsten - whose breakthrough role came when she was just 10 in 'Interview with the Vampire' - added: "I definitely took a little bit of a break. And also, when you're in your 20s you need figure things out and take a step back. I had been acting so long, all my life. I think I just needed a little bit of some perspective. It was good for me and it re-inspired what I do, too."However, Kirsten avoids the Hollywood party circuit and only attends the premieres of her own movies.She said: "I avoid the red carpet as much as possible. You have to do it to promote your movies obviously but you won't see me at an event just for the sake of it." ersonal ThingKirsten Dunst: Depression Is a Very Personal ThingKirsten Dunst makes an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in an episode airing today!Here’s what the 29-year-old Melancholia actress had to share with Ellen:On taking a break from Hollywood: “I definitely took a little bit of a break. And also, when you’re in your twenties you need figure things out and take a step back. I had been acting so long, all my life. I think I just needed a little bit of some perspective. It was good for me and it re-inspired what I do.”On dealing with depression: “It’s not something I feel like totally comfortable talking about but yeah, it’s a very personal thing. It’s also interesting as an actress you’re supposed to be sensitive and vulnerable and have this side to you. But then your supposed to be super sociable and ‘on’ and like nice to everybody. That’s a weird dichotomy. It’s a lot to ask of a person. It’s not a normal thing.”On how she feels about the red carpet: “I avoid the red carpet as much as possible. You have to do it to promote your movies obviously but you won’t see me at an event just for the sake of it.”FYI: Kirsten is wearing a Dolce&Gabbana dress, Nicholas Kirkwood shoes, and Tom Binns earrings.Bigger picture inside…

cop commits suicide, SRA death may be suicide,counselling not our cup of tes:cops,

2011-11-09T23:50:00.000-08:00

HE WAS HARASSED BY HIS SENIORS: SONCop commits suicide at Mahim police quartersV Narayan TNNMumbai: An assistant subinspector committed suicide by jumping off from the terrace of the five-storey building in which he resided at the Mahim police quarters on Tuesday morning.According to the police,53-year-old ASI Vijay Murudkars family alleged that he took the extreme step as was harassed by his seniors.DCP (Zone V) Aswati Dorje said,He has not left behind any suicide note.The case is being investigated.Murudkar was transferred to the Bandra police station six months ago and had applied for a voluntary retirement.My father had sought a VRS as he wanted to relax and spend more time with his grandchildren and family members.Of late,he was under a lot of stress as a senior officer was harassing him at workplace, Murudkars son Rakesh told TOI on Tuesday.Shocked neighbours said they had seen Murudkar playing with his grandson,Mayank,outside their room on the first floor around 8.15 am before some women drying clothes in the common balcony raised an alarm of having seen someone fall on the ground from the terrace.I was searching for my father in the morning and was under the impression that he was in my elder brother Rajeshs house,which is on the second floor of the building, Rakesh said.My father would regularly go to visit Rajesh who is a constable at the Kherwadi police station and stays with his wife and two children.I was about to climb the stairs to look for him when I heard a few women scream, he added.Listening to the screams,several cops residing in the building rushed downstairs and rushed Murudkar to the nearby S L Raheja Hospital,where h e died around 9.15am.For the last two weeks,my father was under severe depression.On Monday night,I even inquired as to why he was glum.When I asked him if he had any health issues,he denied it.We never expected him to take such an extreme step, Rakesh said.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------SRA death may be suicide, say copsPublished: Wednesday, Nov 9, 2011, 8:00 ISTBy Shahkar Abidi | Place: Mumbai | Agency: DNAThough three Shiv Sena activists have been booked for allegedly burning to death a 36-year-old man over a dispute in the Slum Rehabilitation Scheme, preliminary police investigations hint it to be a case of suicide.Police sources said the entire turn-around of facts was reportedly done at the behest of a local Congress leader, who wanted to fix his opponents-the accused in the case dock. The former councillor will soon be called for questioning, the sources said.According to a complaint lodged with the Versova police by deceased Rehmat Shah’s family, the accused, who run a carom club, allegedly got into a fight with the victim. They had a long standing dispute over the SRA issue and they had lodged complaints against each other at the police station.Shah’s family claimed that he was assaulted with sticks and then set on fire in front of the slum. However, no one came in front to help him or doused off the fire. Shah was rushed to the Cooper hospital, where he was declared brought dead.“Rehmat called me on my cell phone for help, but then it got cut. The phone was found in the morning in a burnt state,” Shah’s brother Ahmed Hassan said.However, witnesses told the police that they saw Shah in flames running out of his house, while one of his sisters was running behind him.The locals told the police that there was a property dispute between between Rehmat and his sister Rehana. The duo would often fight openly and on few occasions, Shah had threatened to kill himself. The cops now suspect that Shah could have possibly set himself on fire during a similar fight.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Counselling not our cup of tea:copsMumbai police have decided that sorting marital problems is not their cup of tea. It's social service branch 's marriage counselling dept run by 15 hardened cops have had just 18 successes.So the cops are being trained by professional counsellors under a new project title Su Samvaad-Positive communication.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad's depression may rub off on kids

2011-11-08T17:08:00.001-08:00

Dad's depression may rub off on kidsHealthBy Amanda MacMillan, Health.comNovember 7, 2011 -- Updated 0827 GMT (1627 HKT)A child's odds of developing emotional problems increase by as much as 70% if the father shows signs of depression.A child's odds of developing emotional problems increase by as much as 70% if the father shows signs of depression.STORY HIGHLIGHTS The situation is predictably worse if both parents are depressed That proportion increases to 11% if the father is depressed Genes often play a role in passing depression and other mental-health problems(Health.com) -- Doctors and researchers have known for years that children are more likely to develop mental-health problems if their mother has struggled with depression. But what if it's the father who's depressed?According to a new study -- one of the first to examine mental-health patterns in a nationally representative sample of dads and kids -- a child's odds of developing emotional or behavioral problems increase by as much as 70% if the father shows signs of depression. That's smaller than the increased risk associated with depressed moms, but it's still cause for concern, researchers say."For years we've been studying maternal depression and how it affects children, but the medical community has done a huge disservice by ignoring fathers in this research," said the study's lead author, Michael Weitzman, a professor of pediatric medicine at New York University, in New York. "These findings reinforce what we already assumed -- that fathers matter, too, and they matter quite a lot."Health.com: 12 signs of depression in menThe situation is predictably worse if both parents are depressed. Just 6% of children with two mentally healthy parents have serious emotional or behavioral problems, such as feeling sad or nervous, acting out at school, or clashing with family and peers, the study found. But that proportion increases to 11% if the father is depressed, 19% if the mother is depressed and 25% if both parents are depressed -- a strikingly high number, Weitzman says.Although the study doesn't prove that a parent's depression directly causes problems in children, rather than vice versa, previous research on mothers and children has clearly shown that it's generally mothers who influence kids' mental health, not the other way around.The idea that parents have an impact on their children's mental health is a "no-brainer," said Michael Brody, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Child Psychiatry and a visiting professor of American Studies at the University of Maryland, in College Park, Maryland.Genes often play a role in passing depression and other mental-health problems from parent to offspring, Brody said, and the family environment is also important. "We learn how to adapt to situations by looking at our parents as models," he says. "So if either parent is depressed, a kid is going to be influenced by this."Health.com: How to help someone who's depressedThe study, which appears in the December issue of the journal Pediatrics, included nearly 22,000 two-parent families who participated in federal health surveys between 2004 and 2008. During in-home visits, researchers interviewed one adult in each household -- typically the mother -- about the mental health of all family members (including the interviewee).The researchers used two separate questionnaires to record the overall mental health and depression symptoms of the parents. These questionnaires were used only for screening purposes, the study notes, and were not equivalent to the official symptom checklists doctors use to diagnose depression.If the father displayed below-average mental health or depression symptoms, a child's odds of having similar problems increased by 33% and 70%, respectively. The child's odds increased even more -- by as much as 200% -- if the mother had mental-health problems instead.Health.com: 10 things to say (and not say) to someone with depressionBoys, 12- to 17-year-olds, and white children with depressed dads had higher rates of emotional and behavioral problems than did girls, younger kids, and children of other ethnicities. The study was limited to children who live with both parents, however, so the findings as a whole don't necessarily apply to all households and family situations, the authors note.Doctors and mental-health professionals have to do a better job of looking at the entire family picture when one member shows signs of depression, and asking about what role the father plays in a child's upbringing, Brody says. "The good news is that dads are participating in their children's lives; they're active and they're interested," he says. "The bad news is that if they're participating in a negative way, it's going to affect the kids."Men who are feeling depressed should seek treatment, if only for the sake of their children, Brody adds. "Women are more likely to seek medical treatment in general, and psychiatric health, specifically," he says. "This is just another reason for men who are feeling down or know they're experiencing depression...to seek help."

Article on stress where Aasra features, Midday 8th nov 2011

2011-11-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

http://www.mid-day.com/lifestyle/2011/nov/081111-Features-Overwhelmed.htmOverwhelmed?By: Aviva Dharmaraj Date: 2011-11-08 Place: MumbaiStress has become an inevitable part of everyday living in the city. Why then are we not getting better at coping with it? We ask the experts for their opinion and tips on survival in the concrete jungleSuicide rates are up by more than 13% since 2009, according to a recent report released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB). The report states that, 'more than one lakh persons in the country lost their lives by committing suicide' -- an increase of 1.7% over the previous year's figure.'"There is a high pressure to earn in today's world," says Dr Armaan Pandey, consultant psychiatrist with Surana Sethia Hospital in Chembur. "To adapt to any situation, we need time. Often the pressure of time is so intense that barely have we dealt with one thing that another comes up," he says, explaining the reason for poor coping skills.Gender counts, when it comes to suicide rates as well, with more men than women killing themselves. "This is true not just of India, but worldwide. The rate of suicide in men is higher than that of women. However, the attempted rate of suicide is higher for women than for men, as men tend to use more violent methods than women," explains Dr Pandey. He adds that cases of women being under-reported also plays a role. "When a women commits suicide, it is frequently referred to as an 'accident' or an 'illness'."Cry for helpThe lack of awareness and taboos surrounding the seeking of professional help are other deterrents. Johnson Thomas, Director, Aasra, a 24-hour suicide helpline attributes this to the country's cultural make-up and less to access to coping mechanisms."In India, it is not as easy to seek help from an anonymous source, Even in urban India, nuclear families are not used to seeking help from outside," he says. The highest risk group is people between the ages of 15 and 35 years, according to Johnson, who says that on average they receive more calls from women than men. "We get the most calls from midnight to 4 am."Just do itWhile following a passion might not be an option for everyone, explains Johnson, "In India, finding your passion is a luxury," he suggests instead making time to work at something that interests us. "Do something that you have neglected over the years because of lack of time.""Time management is the key to happiness," shares Dr Pandey, with physical exercise, meditation and yoga being other ways you can make time for yourself and successfully cope with stress.Help yourself?AasraCall: 27546669 (24-hour helpline)To volunteer: 27546667Log on to: www.aasra.info (Our call was answered on the second try)PrernaCall: 25905959 (24-hour helpline)This reporter tried calling this number thrice, but all calls went unanswered.The SamaritansCall: 32473267FB page: www.facebook.com/SamaritansMumbaiThis reporter tried calling this helpline thrice, only to receive an automated messages saying that the number had been switched off.3 things you can do now1. Like what you doIf you don't have the option of living your passion, then focus on things that you like about your current job. Try to have interests outside of work, so that you don't feel like you are defined by your work.2. Make time for hobbiesIf you haven't figured out what it is you love to do in your spare time, then sign up for a dance class or start your own club. Having a focus outside of your work will make you feel less like a slave.3. ExerciseYou know this. In case you need endorsement form an expert, here it is: "Physical health is very important for emotional health," says Dr Armaan Pandey.Share Share this on Rediff.com

Close friends less common

2011-11-08T04:17:00.000-08:00

Close Friendship Less Common, Says StudySubmitted by Latika Sharma on Mon, 11/07/2011 - 14:21 Close Friendship Less Common, Says StudyA new study has recently commented that close friends are now less common than earlier. Moreover, the study has also highlighted that the count of close friends today stand at only 2 and no more than that.A study was carried out at the Cornell University to know where close friendship today stands. It was noticed in the procedure that the list of close friends among Americans has started diminishing as now Americans on an average are having only two close friends in their priority list, i. e. down from three confidantes 25 years ago.Also the study pointed that no improvement has been noticed in the number of socially isolated people or the ones, who had zero confidantes. Since decades, no increase has been cited in the list and this time also the analysts suspected same (that they found in the study)."Although this shrinking social network makes us potentially more vulnerable, we're not as socially isolated as scholars had feared. This is reassuring in that it suggests that we're not becoming less social", Study Researcher Mr. Matthew Brashears said.The above results are out by Brashears and his team, who, after surveying more than 2,000 adults aged 18 and above, concluded the above findings. The survey was done from an online national representative program that was conducted between April and May 2010.During the survey, the professionals asked the participants to list the names of people, whom they thought were "important matters" in the last six months. It was concluded from the survey that approx 48 percent participants list had one name, 18% listed two names, and 29% listed more than two names for these close friends.On an average, participants had only 2.03 confidantes. On the other hand, 64% socially isolated individuals showed no interest to discuss any topic.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

work drives couples apart,Kalavati's familie's suicides, mental illness high among prisoners,

2011-11-08T04:01:00.000-08:00

Work drives couples apartDebasish Panigrahi, Hindustan TimesMumbai, November 08, 2011 Email to AuthorFirst Published: 01:48 IST(8/11/2011)Last Updated: 01:48 IST(8/11/2011)Share more...0 Comments Email printAn analysis of divorce applications by the Mumbai police has thrown up some startling factors behind marital discord in the city. On top of the list is growing economic parity between men and women, followed by dowry demands, societal pressures, and incompatibility. The first-of its-kindstudy by the social service branch of the city police is based on data available with the police for the past five years, of which 1,354 divorce pleas were filed this year (see box). Five officers, including deputy commissioner of police (enforcement) BG Shekhar, took over a month to examine the records before arriving at the conclusions.“According to our findings, the divorce rate is highest (over 40%) in cases where both the spouses are earning. Their financial independence, unfortunately, leads to ego hassles and the simmering differences culminate in a bitter separation,” Shekhar said.Shekhar, an electronic engineer with an advanced diploma in software who has authored several books on crime investigation techniques, criminal behaviour etc., said: “The man expects his wife to cook good food and take care of the house, which is not possible since she, too, is working and has to meet professional demands. Both refuse to relent as both are financially independent,” Shekhar said.The next most prevalent factor, equally surprising given the city’s forward-thinking image, is dowry demands from the in-laws. “If you think dowry is unique to rural or semi-urban pockets, you are mistaken — in fact, over 25% of divorce cases in Mumbai are a result of it,” Shekhar said.The study has also thrown up a unique attribute of marital discord that is directly related to the economic pressures of city life. “About 20% cases of family disturbance are borne out of financial deprivation,” Shekhar said. “The desire or deprivation of valuables, ornaments or an overseas holiday, which are influenced by neighbours or peers, lead to problems at home.”The incompatibility of lifestyles between spouses accounts for the rest, about 15%, of marital discord cases in the megalopolis. “It happens mostly in cases where spouses come from different cultural backgrounds — for instance, one is brought up in a liberal city atmosphere while the other is from a rural or semi-urban place,” Shekhar said.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Police to rope in expert counsellorsDebasish Panigrahi, Hindustan TimesMumbai, November 08, 2011 Email to AuthorFirst Published: 01:55 IST(8/11/2011)Last Updated: 01:56 IST(8/11/2011)Share more...0 Comments Email printAfter determining the potential reasons behind divorces in the city, the social service branch (SSB) of Mumbai police has stepped up efforts to save marriages by roping in professional counsellors.“Now that we have understood the patterns, we are going to engage professionals incounselling estranged couples,” Shekhar told HT. “Until now, we have been using traditional methods through our officers and women constables, but we are not professionals, and neither do we have the expertise to counsel couples who come from a wide spectrum of society. Whatever we are doing is based on our experience. But this is not enough,” Shekhar opined.To shore up its efforts, Shekhar said the SSB will employ the help of psychiatrists, professional family counsellors, and NGOs working to restore family harmony. “They are better trained and experienced, and have proven expertise in counselling,” he said.Shekhar said the police want to increase re-union cases by over 40% by next year. “We have saved around 375 marriages this year. Once expert hands are engaged, I am sure we will be able to prevent double the number of marriages from breaking up next year,” he said.The SSB has started holding parleys with authorities at some of the best social study institutes in the city, hospitals (private and government), and also recognised NGOs, to provide counsellors for the cause.Meanwhile, drawing inspiration from the United States of America and Germany, where governments reward couples in long-lasting marriages, the SSB plans to organise special functions — titled Sukh Samvad (happy communication) — to felicitate couples who patch up following consultancy by the police. “Home minister RR Patil has already endorsed the proposal and has given us a go-ahead,” Shekhar said.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kalawati gets 1 lakh after 3 suicides in familyPress Trust of India, Updated: November 08, 2011 00:49 ISTemailemailAds by GoogleStrategic Mgmt by IIM-C – 6 month program in Strategic Mgmt from IIM-C. 7+ yr Exp. Apply Now !program.niitimperia.comNagpur: Targeting Congress general secretary Rahul Gandhi, BJP president Nitin Gadkari claimed that Kalawati Bandurkar, a farmer's widow from Vidarbha, got no help from the government.Speaking at a function on Monday to mark the opening of crushing season at his Purti sugar factory at Belo near Nagpur, Mr Gadkari offered aid of Rs. 1 lakh to her.Kalawati, whose husband committed suicide in 2005, became the face of the crisis faced by families of farmers in Vidarbha's 'suicide belt', after Rahul Gandhi mentioned her in his Lok Sabha speech during trust vote.five years later her son-in-law Sanjay Kalaskar committed suicide because he could not pay back a bank loan, t this year Kalavati's second daughter Savita, who was ailing, comitted suicide.Mr Gadkari said though Rahul met her, no financial assistance was given to Kalawati whose son-in-law and daughter too committed suicide.The BJP chief criticised the government for "not being serious" about promoting use of ethanol-blended petrol which, he said, could save on petrol consumption.He said the BJP-ruled states such as Karnataka and Madhya Pradesh were offering loans to farmers at one per cent interest rate, while Maharashtra offered crop loans at 12-13 per cent. Even a luxury car can be bought at a lower interest rate of 8 per cent, he said.Senior BJP leader Rajnath Singh and Madhya Pradesh Chief Minister Shivraj Singh Chouhan were present at the function.Rajnath Singh alleged that UPA government had failed to take concrete pro-farmers measures.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mental illness high among prisonersPublished: Tuesday, Nov 8, 2011, 8:00 ISTBy Vineeta Pandey | Place: New Delhi | Agency: DNAThere is a high prevalence of psychiatric illness among prisoners lodged in Indian jails and it isn’t surprising that more than half of them had history of substance abuse.According to a study published in the latest edition of the Indian Journal of Psychiatry, the psychiatric morbidity among prisoners is substantially higher than in the general population. Most inmates have a number of defined problem areas, with substance use, depression and anxiety disorders most prevalent.The study conducted by doctors of the Government medical college, Amritsar, and MM College, Haryana, in the Central jail, Amritsar, found psychiatric illness in 23.8% of the 500 convicts lodged there. These figures are similar to some other studies conducted in other jails in the country.In terms of diagnostic breakup, depression was the most common psychiatric disorder (18%). Dysthymia (a chronic type of depression) was found in 2% of the prisoners. The extent of schizophrenia was 0.4% though some other studies have found much higher incidence of schizophrenia. But authors of this study claimed that this variation was due to different study design as previous studies were done on criminals admitted to mental hospital, or on undertrials who were referred to medical college, while this was done in jail.Interestingly, 56.4% of these prisoners had history of substance abuse or dependence prior to detention —out of this 39.8% were addicted to alcohol and 5% were multiple substance abusers. At least 11.2% of the prisoners were dependent on various substances.The authors argued that high rate of common psychiatric disorders calls for the use of improved psychiatric screening instruments, improved assessment and treatment capacities in prison and an increased number of psychiatric inpatient facilities to care for inmates who are too unwell to be treated in prison.Agreeing with the study, Sunil gupta, spokesperson of the Tihar Jail in Delhi, said that most of those who come in conflict with law are people who are not normal mentally. “They are either in extreme state of depression or anger. No normal person can commit serious crimes,” said Gupta. A lack of impulse control, suspiciousness, disinhibition, paranoia, inability to trust others, delusions and hallucinations are some other reasons.Among prisoners with psychiatric illness, maximum (74%) of the criminals came from lower and middle socio-economic classes. In the current study, 500 convicted prisoners were interviewed, out of which 20 were females, mainly due the fact that majority of the crimes are committed by males.As much as 76% of the prisoners were from rural areas, 51.4% of them were illiterate or had their education up to primary. The study was carried out from 1, April 2003 to 30 th September 2004. The age of the prisoners ranged from 18-60 years. The mean age of the prisoners was 36.38 years, 50 % of the prisoners belonged to nuclear families. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------13-year old falls to death from windowThe Indian High School student was fixing curtains when she accidentally slipped out of the window of her 11th floor flatBy VM SathishPublished Sunday, January 30, 2011Picture only for illustrative purpose (GETTY IMAGES)A teenager accidentally fell to her death from the window of a 15-storey building in Jawasat Road, Abu Dhabi on Saturday afternoon. Thirteen-year-old Asma Abdul Rasakh, a student of Indian High School, was fixing a curtail hook, when the chair she was standing on slipped and threw her out of the window and she died on the spot, eyewitnees told 'Emirates 24|7'."Yesterday around noon, we heard a loud sound. It's only a little later that we learnt that a girl had fallen from the 11th floor window. Immediately a lot of people assembled and Abu Dhabi Police soon cordoned off the area. We don’t know how the accident happened, but two of the windows of the 11th floor flat remain open now,” said an eyewitness.Family members said the body is kept at the Central Hospital morgue and would be cremated in Abu Dhabi once the formalities are complete.The family hails from Perla, Kasargodu district of Kerala, India. She is survived by two brothers, Athif and Imad, and parents.Her father, Abdul Rasak, runs computer shops – Electra Computers and Casina Compters in Abu Dhabi.An official from Indian High School said: “She was in grade eight. We mourn her accidental death."---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Student falls to death from 11th floor in south MumbaiPTI | Nov 7, 2011, 11.04PM ISTArticleComments (6)Read more:Vaibhav building|Student falls to death in Mumbai|Gamdevi police station|Gamdevi in Mumbai6MUMBAI: A 23-year-old law student on Monday fell to her death from her 11th floor residence in south Mumbai while talking to a friend on her mobile phone, police said.Sharmi Doshi, studying law, fell from the balcony of the Vaibhav building in Gamdevi early today when she was talking to a friend on her mobile phone, they said."She seemed to have lost her balance while speaking on her cell phone in the early morning. It did not appear to be a case of suicide. The probe so far also suggests there was no foul play," Sanjay Diwadkar, senior inspector at Gamdevi police station, said.The parents of the deceased and other family members were inside the home at the time of the incident, the police said, adding that she was found on the ground by the watchman of the building and was rushed to a nearby hospital where she was declared dead. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Law student falls to death from balcony in MumbaiV Narayan, TNN | Nov 8, 2011, 01.45AM ISTArticleComments (5)Read more:Vaibhav building|Law student falls to death|Gamdevi police5MUMBAI: A 23-year-old woman fell off the balcony of her 11th floor flat at Vaibhav building in Gamdevi early on Monday.Sharmi Doshi, a law student, was reportedly talking on her cellphone the mobile phone with a friend around 4 am when she lost balance and fell to her death.The watchman at the building heard a thud and found Doshi lying in a pool of blood, said the police. He informed Doshi's parents who rushed her to hospital where she was declared dead before admission.Said an officer attached to the Gamdevi police station, The Gamdevi police conducted a panchnama of the spot."Prima facie, it is a case of accidental death. However, it is unclear why she was on the balcony talking on the phone at such an odd hour."Senior inspector S W Diwadkar of Gamdevi police said the post-mortem showed that it was an accidental fall and ruled out foul play. "She may have lost her balance while talking on the phone. The balcony does not have safety grills. Even her parents and family members do not have any complaint of foul play," Diwadkar said.Doshi's parents, who were asleep at the time of the incident, were informed of the accident by the watchman and they learnt about the incident when the watchman informed them. "The Doshis stay in a joint family and there is nothing suspicious about her death," investigators said.The police said they learnt through Doshi 's family that she had studied in the US for a few years before returning to India. A case of accidental death report (ADR) has been registered.